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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Am I the only person who never opens their front door to anyone?

585 replies

jugglingjugs · 17/04/2023 10:02

I just heard my front door go, so I hid in the kitchen out of sight, no idea who it was but I'm now very curious.
I wasn't expecting anyone, if it was family I would have answered because they wouldn't come unannounced.
I also never answer my phone if I don't recognise the number. Is this just me or does anyone else do this?
I have never really thought about why until now.

OP posts:
GanjaDhin · 18/04/2023 09:03

nomoredriving · 17/04/2023 20:52

@GanjaDhin yeah I am, but you think that was a "normal" response?

Really?

I was hoping you would reply "yes I am. Are you?" So that we could go back and forth, mumsnet style. hahaha

And for what it's worth I think her response was ok. I read it that she was just having a bit of fun with it all.

nomoredriving · 18/04/2023 09:06

@GanjaDhin not normal in my world, but hey people who don't answer those doors are normal. 🤷‍♀️

RampantIvy · 18/04/2023 09:31

My basic answer is yes I always answer my front door and telephone because I have no reason not to.

emptythelitterbox · 18/04/2023 10:24

I don't usually either.

The house I was in had a ring bell so could see who it was as I was in the other side if the house

Where I'm staying now, I leave the front door open and the storm door shut and can see.

I don't answer numbers I don't know as it's always sales calls.

Fireandflames666 · 18/04/2023 10:43

I refuse to open the door for anyone unless they've been invited, I have bad social anxiety and don't want to be pestered.

Spud90 · 18/04/2023 10:45

I don’t answer my door if I don’t know who it is and I’m not expecting something. I have a peep hole though and can look without them seeing me. I did hide sometimes in my old house but that was just because of the way it was set out and built. It was very open and had lots of big windows and a conservatory so it was very easy for people to just look in and see me(which people often did).

Sometimes I don’t answer the phone to unknown callers, sometimes I do. It depends on my mood that day but usually if it’s important they’ll leave a voicemail.

PrettyMaybug · 18/04/2023 11:08

Peapodburgundybouquet · 17/04/2023 21:32

Why are some people so upset and wounded and affronted that OTHERS choose to not answer their door most of the time? What the fuck has it got to do with you?

No one is ‘affronted’. They just think you’re really weird.

Where do you live that you’re so utterly inundated with sale people (from the 80s/90s - Tupperware anyone?)?

The only ‘affronted’ ones are those who cannot bear people knocking on their door, and become enraged/fearful/feel the need to hide (not including those with understandable triggers) at the sound of it.

Quick Q for you, if you have a sign saying ‘only knock in emergencies’ and yet you still won’t go near the door, what’s the point of the sign?

@Peapodburgundybouquet

Oh yeah they are DEFINITELY affronted all right, and verrry offended. Grin Some people are just sooo upset that others don't answer their door very often. These threads make THAT clear.

I find it bizarre that some people are so sticky-beaky and give so much headspace to what other people do, and that they think anyone gives a shit about their opinions. It's the people who are SO annoyed about what other people do, (that has no effect whatsover on them) who are fucking weird. 😂

They are also weird to answer the door to every single fucker that knocks - no matter who they are. Must be desperate for company, and friends, and not have much to do/no job. Wink

I shall reiterate - why are the people who open the door to everyone who knocks SO BOTHERED that others don't??? The ones who don't answer very often don't give a flying fuck that you answer all the time! What's your problem? WHY DO YOU CARE? YOU are the ones who are fucking weird! Grin

PrettyMaybug · 18/04/2023 11:09

@Fireandflames666

I refuse to open the door for anyone unless they've been invited, I have bad social anxiety and don't want to be pestered.

But... but ... but, that's not ALLOWED .. you must ALWAYS answer the door. It might be someone who is an entitled fecker who is dropping on you unannounced, and wants you to drop everything for them because they're so precious and special important!

SchoolTripDrama · 18/04/2023 11:38

You must owe a LOT of money OP! Why don’t you a Ring doorbell or a spy hole??

MsRosley · 18/04/2023 11:57

MyAnacondaMight · 17/04/2023 13:11

A ring doorbell or similar camera on the front door would solve all this hiding in the kitchen anxiety. And you get to see who was calling!

I once knocked on a neighbours door to tell them they had a parking ticket (must have forgotten to renew their permit), as cars get towed very quickly on my road. I saw some curtain twitching, so I knew they were in, but they didn’t answer. Answering the door that day could have saved them £200.

I once knocked on a neighbours door to tell them they had a parking ticket (must have forgotten to renew their permit), as cars get towed very quickly on my road. I saw some curtain twitching, so I knew they were in, but they didn’t answer. Answering the door that day could have saved them £200.

This. Plus has to occurred to people who won't answer their door that it might be someone in trouble? I hope you never break down somewhere or find yourself in some other unfortunate situation needing help and no bastard will open their door to you. It's a sad indictment of society for so many people to be so wary of others, and so unwilling to have any normal human interaction that they aren't in control of.

RampantIvy · 18/04/2023 12:02

They are also weird to answer the door to every single fucker that knocks - no matter who they are.

No, they are normal people who don't have hang ups about doing something normal.

Must be desperate for company, and friends, and not have much to do/no job

You are projecting.

Peapodburgundybouquet · 18/04/2023 12:12

PrettyMaybug · 18/04/2023 11:08

@Peapodburgundybouquet

Oh yeah they are DEFINITELY affronted all right, and verrry offended. Grin Some people are just sooo upset that others don't answer their door very often. These threads make THAT clear.

I find it bizarre that some people are so sticky-beaky and give so much headspace to what other people do, and that they think anyone gives a shit about their opinions. It's the people who are SO annoyed about what other people do, (that has no effect whatsover on them) who are fucking weird. 😂

They are also weird to answer the door to every single fucker that knocks - no matter who they are. Must be desperate for company, and friends, and not have much to do/no job. Wink

I shall reiterate - why are the people who open the door to everyone who knocks SO BOTHERED that others don't??? The ones who don't answer very often don't give a flying fuck that you answer all the time! What's your problem? WHY DO YOU CARE? YOU are the ones who are fucking weird! Grin

Show quote history

Sure, you seem totally normal and not at all angry.

Ludo19 · 18/04/2023 12:17

JuneShitfield · 17/04/2023 10:16

Oh I'm with Dusty; I hide when they're working. There's only so much nodding and smiling through glass I'm prepared to do before it starts turning into interpretive mime.

I don't hide when they want paying (although ours is done by direct debit now anyway).

Show quote history

I'm the same June.

I had sprinkled catnip on the carpet obviously for the cats! Sure the window cleaner thought I had spilled drugs on my carpet because he gave me a knowing smile through the window 😲

GanjaDhin · 18/04/2023 12:28

nomoredriving · 18/04/2023 09:06

@GanjaDhin not normal in my world, but hey people who don't answer those doors are normal. 🤷‍♀️

I’ve got news for you: your world is just that…your world. Doesn’t make you any more normal (whatever that means) than op, the pp or me.

GanjaDhin · 18/04/2023 12:37

MsRosley · 18/04/2023 11:57

I once knocked on a neighbours door to tell them they had a parking ticket (must have forgotten to renew their permit), as cars get towed very quickly on my road. I saw some curtain twitching, so I knew they were in, but they didn’t answer. Answering the door that day could have saved them £200.

This. Plus has to occurred to people who won't answer their door that it might be someone in trouble? I hope you never break down somewhere or find yourself in some other unfortunate situation needing help and no bastard will open their door to you. It's a sad indictment of society for so many people to be so wary of others, and so unwilling to have any normal human interaction that they aren't in control of.

Show quote history

My neighbour would have texted me to warn me about something like that and did just that quite recently.

GanjaDhin · 18/04/2023 12:41

GanjaDhin · 18/04/2023 12:37

My neighbour would have texted me to warn me about something like that and did just that quite recently.

Show quote history

sorry. I didn’t reply to your post but to the one you quoted, but if someone in trouble banged on my door I would check to see who was in trouble. If it was someone being chased by a gunman I am really sorry but I wouldn’t let them in. I’d let them run along and knock on your door. I would call the police though.

RampantIvy · 18/04/2023 12:44

My neighbour would have texted me to warn me about something like that and did just that quite recently.

Not everyone has their neighbours phone numbers though.

DarrellRiversCriminalBehaviourOrder · 18/04/2023 12:51

It's really not weird to answer the door.

Kanaloa · 18/04/2023 13:03

DarrellRiversCriminalBehaviourOrder · 18/04/2023 12:51

It's really not weird to answer the door.

But it is weird to hide in your own home when you hear a knock, while curiously wondering who might be knocking at your door. That’s not normal behaviour. Hiding from someone knocking at the door is weird.

GanjaDhin · 18/04/2023 13:05

RampantIvy · 18/04/2023 12:44

My neighbour would have texted me to warn me about something like that and did just that quite recently.

Not everyone has their neighbours phone numbers though.

I have quite a few of my neighbours’ numbers. We live in a lovely area and have a very active neighbourhood watch. It is due to the reports from that why I don’t always open my door. There are so many opportunists out there, trying car doors to see if they are open, looking for open windows, knocking on doors to size up properties. It happens everywhere.

When you think about it a lot of companies have screening measures - reception has to buzz you in after you’ve said what you’re there for. Presumably they wouldn’t let callers in if they couldn’t do that. Why isn’t it ok for homeowners to screen callers in a similar fashion?

clpsmum · 18/04/2023 13:13

So weird and only on mumsnet

24KaratCucumber · 18/04/2023 13:20

clpsmum · 18/04/2023 13:13

So weird and only on mumsnet

Nope on both counts.

Several long threads in othe sites like Reddit go much the same as this one. Google 'Reddit should I open my front door'

It's like the shoes on or off question.
There's lots of support for both options with some on either side thinking the mir opposite is weird or bizarre.

vilepig · 18/04/2023 13:45

Off the back of this thread I decided to answer the door this morning. I normally don't.
Jehovah's Witnesses.
Won't be opening the door again unless expecting someone.

It's never anyone of interest as friends would call first.
The delivery people here don't ring the bell anyway and just leave the parcel outside so I'm not missing out there, nor am I inconveniencing a neighbour by not answering and parcels being delivered to them instead.

Peapodburgundybouquet · 18/04/2023 14:04

Off the back of this thread I decided to answer the door this morning. I normally don't.
Jehovah's Witnesses.
Won't be opening the door again unless expecting someone.

This didn’t happen, did it?

GanjaDhin · 18/04/2023 14:09

Peapodburgundybouquet · 18/04/2023 14:04

Off the back of this thread I decided to answer the door this morning. I normally don't.
Jehovah's Witnesses.
Won't be opening the door again unless expecting someone.

This didn’t happen, did it?

Hahahaa!! This thread gets better and better!!

I love mumsnet so much. I am new to it and don’t know how I ever lived without it.