To ask if anyone regrets having number 3?

[everlastinghope]

We have 2 dc 5 and 7 obviously things have got easier now they are in school.
We've been thinking a lot about having a 3rd for a while but I'm really undecided.
Is it much harder?
How does your body cope with a 3rd pregnancy?

My parents had a third child as my Dad wanted more kids but my Mum didn't, her resentment of the third child has been clear throughout our childhood it doesn't sound as if you or your partner would behave like this but I would say only have another one if you want it as much as you wanted the first.

ps. if you look at it from an environmental point of view having less children is better for the planet, could be something to consider as you have two children already. 😉

I have two and nearly all of my friends have two as we started later in life.

I have one friend who has three (not the only one with three though) and she does regret it in a way. Obviously she loves this child as much as the others but she very strongly feels she has been trapped in the childhood years a lot longer than other people. Having to have a bigger car, more expensive holidays, the difficulties of fitting everyone into a 3 bed house, three lots of University support. All the practicalities.

Just to add, my father and step-mother had a third child when my Dad didn't want to. He was over 50 when he was born. As it happens he turned out to be the golden child in that family of three and is in a total and utter mess mental health-wise because of it (imo).

The more children you have the more of yourself you give away forever if you are a decent parent. Parenting doesn't stop at 18 - no way!

Yes but it was a surprise pregnancy so out of my hands (found out at 28 weeks).
We were already stretched thinly with asd children and high needs and number 3 is also autistic.
But we manage and number 3 is very much part of our tribe 🥰

I had a large gap where the middle one was 9 when 3 was born. I don't regret 3 but it was starting all over again and that part was a surprise and harder than I remembered. Also NOONE in friends or family has any interest in milestones for number 3 which makes me sad sometimes. Obviously we had a child and throw all our love at all of them but I remember everyone being so delighted by one and two.

Yes it's harder. And I found the jump from 2-3 tough.

I don't think you'll regret having a child - nor will you get anyone to admit that they do.

I struggled with 'going back to it all' (nappies sleepless nights etc) and I find it impossible to find anything that all 3 want to do so end up spending lots of time away from husband as we do separate'family' activities. On a full family activity there's always one of them who 'didn't want to come here/do this/play this/eat there'!!! So there's a lot of 'you chose next time'

Also the expensive from 2-3 felt bigger. We needed a bigger car. Had just finished paying childcare and had to start again. Lots of 'family' tickets and holidays are 2a + 2c so had to pay for separate tickets and rooms on holidays.

You'll love your child and not regret them but 2-3 is a change and going back to the baby stage when they are at school is also hard. Good luck whatever you decide

No regrets at all. But our DC3 was born with a rare genetic condition. We entered a whole new universe parenting a disabled child. It isn't easy.

I believe our other children enhance DC3's life and vice versa but DC3 does come with a lot of "extras" (hospital appointments, paperwork - DLA / EHCP, plus the actual disabilities and day to day challenges. DC3 will never live independently or have the same opportunities and experiences their sibling will)

That said DC3 has never been anything other than a blessing to us all.

Dd3 was the best surprise I've ever had. 100% go for it.

"I wouldn't say I regret having a third but it is definitely 'a lot' and there's times where I am a little wistful for how much easier, cheaper and simpler life would have been as a family of 4."
This. DC3 arrived when others were 5 and 7. I have to say I did really enjoy the baby stage, with the older 2 at school and feeling more relaxed as a mum, and baby just fitted around the others' routines and activities. But it was definitely harder as they got older, finding things for the whole family to do on weekends and holidays, and there is the obviously the additional expense for everything from food, clothes, meals out, entertainment, to holidays.... If you do go ahead and have another I think unless you are seriously financially stretched you will just adjust and it becomes normal, you will absolutely love all 3 and won't be able to imagine life any other way. But equally if you stick at 2 there are definitely advantages, so I would think carefully about it.

https://www.theguardian.com/environment/2017/jul/12/want-to-fight-climate-change-have-fewer-children#:~:text=The%20greatest%20impact%20individuals%20can,and%20eating%20a%20vegetarian%20diet.