To ask if anyone regrets having number 3?

[everlastinghope]

We have 2 dc 5 and 7 obviously things have got easier now they are in school.
We've been thinking a lot about having a 3rd for a while but I'm really undecided.
Is it much harder?
How does your body cope with a 3rd pregnancy?

number 3 wasn’t quite planned. 3 year gap between last 3 and honestly so pleased she is here. Lucked out on gender as youngest 2 share and are same sex. Would have been hard logistically otherwise. Hopefully we will extend by the time they’re teens or something but what will be will be. A gap of over 5 years would have been harder. My younger 2 ask if we can have a baby often. It’s a definite no more 3 is my limit. Will consider a dog in the next 5 years.

No regrets at all, we’ve since had our 4th.

My 3rd was my easiest pregnancy and my easiest c-section recovery, despite only having a 18 month gap.

No regrets here. We are DD9, DD6 and DD2. DD2 is a whirlwind and a diva but she's amazing! My body on the other hand......her pregnancy ruined me physically. Never again. Being sterilised next week actually 😂

My second was twins, so different circumstances. But -

£££££ cars, holidays, living space, food. I’m quite frugal and we earn well but I’m sometimes agog at our spending.

Having quality time with each child. I’m just stretched far too thin, even without that little side gig I do called a job.

I wouldn’t have had a third in other circumstances, much as I love T2. A friend with a 7+9 yo has just announced her pregnancy and I want to shake her.

Also you might actually have twins, so better think about four children 😱

We went for a third, he’s amazing and wouldn’t change a thing but things to consider -
Older two have settled into clubs and hobbies etc which take up a lot of time and we’ve found it hard adding in a third set of clubs. We’ve managed it but we literally don’t have a free evening.

Holidays are so expensive and hard to find accommodations that fit families of 5.
3 lots of everything is also very expensive!! Even taking them all to softplay is so expensive.

He has taken spare room so now I have no spare room so house is messier always!

so in a nutshell, he’s amazing but they all cost us a fortune and I wish I had more time for them all individually but I’m quite thinly spread with 3.

I wanted a third for years. DH always said no. I am so glad he did. I am now mid-40s, peri menopausal and totally over parenting! I have a 13yo and 10yo who have been relatively straightforward so far but have still given my plenty of worry and I am in increasingly glad and grateful that they are as they are as so many friends have issues to deal with whether that is something inherent but which has only been diagnosed in later primary/early secondary or which is related to their DC hitting the teenage years and the various pressures that brings. As it is, juggling school runs and activities with work makes me feel as though I am always on edge and I am so relieved that DC2 only has one more term of primary school and will then become a bit more independent. I am also glad to be out of the eating at 5.30pm, having to have a bedtime routine, having to find somewhere with a children's menu, having to ensure that there are some child focussed activities. Instead, it's fun introducing the children to a more grown up lifestyle and we wouldn't be able to do that if we still had a 7yo or younger with us.
A lot of my friends have a third and the third always seems to be the most delightful child in the family and they bring a lot of joy and happiness. I can also see how they will continue to do that as adult children, as potential parents of grandchildren and perhaps a bit of me will always think "what if". But, on a day to day level, it was definitely the right decision for our family.

I have 3, age 2, 8 & 11. Although I don't regret the baby, it's been harder then I ever thought it would be. My pregnancy with him was more difficult, I had morning sickness until I gave birth, gestational diabetes, lots of reduced movement and extra monitoring towards the end.

The older 2 were never great sleepers but we finally had full nights of sleep back, saved money on nappies etc. They argue in the car constantly because they have to sit next to each other, it's harder to play games or do Lego etc at home as the little one grabs everything and is pretty naughty! They love him but also get frustrated with him. Obviously everything is more expensive, and we rarely have people babysit because there's so many of them! So we don't often get time to be a couple or with just the older kids.

He is amazing, so cute and funny, so loving, clever and he is adored by us all. I wouldn't change him or having him for anything in the world but life is harder with him here.

No regrets!

It was a piece of piss when DC3 was a newborn, the difficulties are increasingly more obvious the older they all get. I don't regret them one bit but it is hard and definitely a change in dynamics.

No. I love having three. I have two teens and a 9yo and they are all fab. It's a blast.

As a pp noticed, it’s very difficult to admit say that you wish you hadn’t had your children. 3 is exponentially more tricky than 2. I think it depends on their personalities, their peers, and luck. The stuff about needing a different car etc for a third child as if that is the issue is so utterly naive that it is laughable. And it gets much, much harder as they get older so I wouldn’t just listen to the people with little kids. Fingers crossed for you!

For a long time I really wanted a 3rd. But we had to think practically and we couldn't afford another, and our house wasn't big enough. Dd2 pestered for a long time until we babysat a friends baby overnight... that soon changed her mind! (Although made me miss those days of snuggles!)

However, our dds are 14 and 10 now. And honestly I don't regret our decision to stick with 2. I am struggling with some health problems right now, dd1 is finding school difficult and I highly suspect dd2 has adhd as her little quirks are becoming more prominent and causing issues, plus the increase in bills/everything right now. This is having a huge effect on my stress levels, im just so glad we don't have a baby/toddler to look after aswell.

I do think of the what ifs but I'm now content looking forward to being an auntie (hopefully soon!) and eventually a grandparent.

Never! He’s been the making of me, part 3. He was a later in life surprise and he’s just the best gift that keeps on giving.
We’ve been through SO much as a family. I’m a lone parent and our circle of 4 is stronger than ever.

We have 2, aged 20 and 14. When 14 was 1 year, I strongly longed for a third. DP disagreed and we stuck with 2. I wish I had a third- too late now. DD has often told me she wished she had a little sister or brother- go for it!

No regrets about no.3. He's a treasure.

No regrets... 3 grown up boys it's great!

Ridiculous question. Asking someone if they regret a child.

I have 3, with 5 years between DC1 and DC3. Youngest is 16 now. All three DCs are wonderful, but it has been hard. DC3 has additional needs and needs lots of support. Yes a third is expensive re cars, holidays etc and money has been tight throughout, but it was the exhaustion that really did almost break me - first when I was working (p-t) and DC3 was in preschool - I ended up in hospital when I couldn't lift my arms. They never did diagnose anything other than exhaustion. Later, with 3 kids worth of activities, there were no free evenings for years. And getting 3 kids around 3 different clubs on the same night was a logistical nightmare with DH and I managing pickups and drop offs all over the place. I ended up having to give up work and although I always intended to go back, DC3's additional needs have meant that was impossible. I've also had an awful perimenopause which has caused me significant health issues (8 years in and counting) right when things were at their busiest. I'm not saying don't do it - I really wouldn't want to be without DC3 - but don't underestimate how tough it might be, particularly if you bring additional needs or health issues into the mix. Now the eldest 2 are both at uni, I suddenly have time to do things for me and this last 6 months have been a revelation - like i have come out of the other side. But I can honestly say I had no idea just how difficult the last 12 years or so would be. If you really want a third, definitely do it, but just consider what happens if things aren't as straightforward as with your eldest too.

*eldest two.

Third pregnancy was the hardest, third labour was the hardest but I wouldn’t change having a third. She is an absolute dream. Older dc are 9 and 4 and the age gaps for us are perfect. The older two are independent enough to be able to help and I feel extremely lucky

Slightly different take, I don't know any parents who regret having a third child but I can think of several adults (all unrelated) with 2 siblings who all stopped at 2 children (or less) for a variety of reasons from financial circumstances, housing and cars, worrying they wouldn't be able to give each child enough attention or that siblings would be too competitive.

It's such a personal decision, ultimately I think you have to decide what you'd regret most.

I love all 3 of mine but I really shouldn't have had no3, the pregnancy destroyed my body, MH and have found it incredibly difficult.
I would never recommend 3 now.

Following as facing a similar dilemma.

I think we will stick at 2 as we are happy. Not sure I can face the sleepless nights again etc. But the window we would want another child in is closing and I don’t want to look back and regret it.

Mine are 7,6 and 17 months. Absolutely no regrets, No.3 was our missing piece. Pregnancy was ok, I was poorly after but I had a lot of family support with school runs and day to day.

Best thing we ever did. Mine are 11,10 and 8. I know heaps of 3 kid families and we are think we hit the sweet spot with family size. I find 3 siblings breaks up the intensity of the 2 sibling relationship. 2 sibs can be great if it works, but terrible if it doesn’t.