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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to feel sad for a little girl being screamed at by her mum?

95 replies

morgymoo182 · 14/02/2008 21:03

Felt awful earlier, was walking into uni and saw this woman grabbing her little girl and literally screaming at the top of her voice into her ear. I nearly burst into tears at the sight. I would be horrified if anyone ever spoke to me like that, let alone this poor little girl (she must've been about 3 or 4 tops). Made me v and

OP posts:
posieflump · 14/02/2008 21:04

it is very hard to judge when you don't know the circumstances but it is not unreasonable to feel sad

DiscoDizzy · 14/02/2008 21:06

agree with posieflump, you should try not to judge when you don't know the circumstances. It's obviously hard not to though, I understand.

oliviaelanasmum · 14/02/2008 21:06

Yanbu but the circumstances may have warrented it.

Original poster
morgymoo182 · 14/02/2008 21:08

But it just seemed so.. violent? From what I gathered it was just that she wouldn't hold her mother's hand.

OP posts:
chipkid · 14/02/2008 21:09

may have been the tip of a very big iceberg!

Original poster
morgymoo182 · 14/02/2008 21:10

I suppose. Thanks everyone.

OP posts:
oliviaelanasmum · 14/02/2008 21:11

I get angry when my dc's dont hold my hand, i dont want them running off or getting seperated.

cadelaide · 14/02/2008 21:11

YANBU, I would feel sad too.

chipkid · 14/02/2008 21:13

I would have been sad too though-even though I have given my dd both barrels at times-I hate to see others do it!

vInTaGeVioLeT · 14/02/2008 21:13

i agree with chipkid - you don't know what the little girl had been upto previous to the hand holding incident!!

but Y A N B U it is very distressing seeing a little kid being yelled at

LyraSilvertongue · 14/02/2008 21:14

To those saying don't judge, what circumstances justify screaming into a three-year-old's ear?

Original poster
morgymoo182 · 14/02/2008 21:14

Well there's angry, and there's screaming. I mean top of your voice - face going bright red screaming. I guess I'm a sensitive soul anyway. And I guess it was not unreasonable for her to be angry - it's in a busy city centre. It just seemed (to me, an outsider) so over the top. But am willing to see that she was probably having a bad day.

OP posts:
oliviaelanasmum · 14/02/2008 21:16

If she was running off for instance i would say that would justify it and as outsiders looking on its not up to us how others discipline our children.

oliviaelanasmum · 14/02/2008 21:17

their

LyraSilvertongue · 14/02/2008 21:18

Oliviaelanasmum, so by your logic we shouldn't intervene/say anything if we see a parent beating their child. It's their choice after all

Karen999 · 14/02/2008 21:19

Yanbu.....I react exactly the same way tbh...and it actually upsets me for quite a while afterwards!

Original poster
morgymoo182 · 14/02/2008 21:19

Wasn't being judgy judgy AT ALL and would certainly never comment on anyone elses parenting abilities. I just felt very scared by this woman, and can't even begin to imagine how the little girl felt.

OP posts:
colditz · 14/02/2008 21:20

but the key point is, she wasn't beating the child. And I shout if ds1 won't hold my hand on a busy day, because he has no road sense.

Perhaps she should have been bribed into it with Haribo and a frootshute?

posieflump · 14/02/2008 21:20

these sorts of threads never go very well
you were the only one there so you are the only one who can say if it was inappropriate or not

oliviaelanasmum · 14/02/2008 21:22

I would smack my dd'd when i was in public (very rare but if circumstances demanded it) but i doubt very much someone would beat their child in the street! Also what was the mum thinking of people obviously judging her parenting skills whilst she is trying to control her own child?

Original poster
morgymoo182 · 14/02/2008 21:23

OK then. I was there. I don't think it was appropriate. I felt terrible and sick to the stomach. I could never scream at another human being let alone a child. I don't think I am being unreasonable. However, everyone else is entitled to their own opinion.

Colditz - there's shouting and then there's screaming. I would shout at a child, but I would NOT scream at them.

OP posts:
LyraSilvertongue · 14/02/2008 21:24

I will shout at DS2 if he doesn't hold my hand on a busy road. I'd never scream into his ear, red faced. What this woman did sounds ott. But then I wasn't there.

bluenosesaint · 14/02/2008 21:24

YANBU for feeling sad

But as others have said, it may have been the straw that broke the camels back, so to speak. That doesn't make it right and i'm not trying to justify it, but it could very well have been a 'one off' that the mother regretted later.

I have yelled at my children (really yelled) and have regretted it sooooooooo much as soon as i have done it. Oh to be perfect ...

Karen999 · 14/02/2008 21:25

Tbh I would never smack or shout at my dcs in private, let alone in the street!! I feel physically sick when I see this happening to other children. I once saw a women literally drag her lo by the hair along the street and I was on the verge of calling the police!!

LyraSilvertongue · 14/02/2008 21:26

Karen999, you never shout?

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