To not leave my child alone while she is eating.

[Questions97]

We are due to go out in 40 minutes. DP has had a shower then likes to plonk on the bed for ages in his towel looking at his phone before he finishes getting ready. I have just asked if he can come down and watch DD (4) as she is still only halfway through breakfast so that I can get ready. He has shouted down and asked what she is eating and said she has ate that loads of times she will be fine. She choked on cake about 6 months ago and it was so scary trying to get her to cough it up.

AIBU would you leave a 4 year old eating downstairs by herself while you got a shower?

I'm usually about when my child is eating but I'm not sat watching her.
I just float in and out the room doing jobs.

We sit and eat together at tea time but that's it. Breakfast is usually a mad rush for us.

To answer above I sit with them if I'm eating but in the situation described I'd never expect an adult to have to supervise eating when they are busy trying to leave the house.

Mine were getting breakfast themselves on weekend mornings by that age.

I have a 3 and 4 year old and I leave them eating while I have a shower but that’s mainly as I know the other one can call me if anything happens. If he is in the house and she has choked recently it wouldn’t hurt him to sit with her really.

Not at all. I leave my 5 year old with her 17 year old sister whilst I take the younger one to nursery.

I don’t think you’re being unreasonable. My oldest choked when she was young. You don’t get that experience out of your head - I can still see her with blue lips when I think about it. It happened… while I was in the shower. I’m blessed that I had one of those mother’s instinct moments and she also was scared and ran to me. We ended up meeting in the middle.

With a four year old eating a food not considered a common choking hazard, I’ll come and go from the room, but if I need to so something longer like shower, I’m going to want them closer where I can watch.

I completed understand. My dd (5) choked on some kinder chocolate a year or 2 ago and I’m still neurotic about choking now.
I do leave her to eat alone if I’ve got other things to do though.
I personally wouldn’t have a hair wash shower while she’s eating as it’s in our en-suite and I wouldn’t be able to hear her downstairs even with the doors open but if I’m just jumping in for a quick wash then I probably would.
Regardless, he’s hippy lazy

Also really surprised at these responses. I am extremely lax in many parenting areas eg general leaving alone/ expecting them to get buses and trains places fairly young by Mumsnet standards.

Food however is different. They were not allowed to eat alone till much older than 4. Choking hazard type foods are not the only foods you can choke on. My DD choked on a bit of pizza crust. And a cucumber when younger. Both needed inversion and back slaps to dislodge. Choking, like drowning, is silent.

He should sit with her !

I'm obviously in the minority but I wouldn't leave my 5yo eating for a shower, I'd pop out the room for something but no more than that. I've got a 2yo too but they're usually eating at the same time and I just watch both of them. I just don't think it's worth the risk, when it really isn't much hassle to just be there. But mine aren't particularly slow eaters, maybe that'd make it more difficult.

YANBU https://cesafety.co.uk/news/choking-deaths-report/amp/

From the website above

“Each day around 40 under-5s are rushed to hospital after choking or swallowing something dangerous. 14 children under the age of 5 have died as a result of this in the past 4 years.

Choking is fast becoming one of the biggest causes of accidental death for under 5s
Food is the most likely cause, but small objects such as toys can also be risky for young children too.
And children don’t master the chewing/swallowing technique until they’re 4, 5 sometimes even 6 years old.”

Some children are left with life changing injuries.

honestly no. I have never left mine while eating. Your husband is lazy though not wanting to watch her. even just for company

one of mine can be silly though but i do wander round getting ready (within the same room/nextt door in sight)

I hope you either got your partner to go downstairs or brought your daughter up to eat her breakfast on daddy's wet tummy

Ew 🤢

Never ever leave your children group … you NOT. being unreasonable… at all and anybody who voted you are need to hang their heads in shame

I think it's sad that he'd rather leave his 4 year old daughter sat eating breakfast alone than spend 10 minutes with her because he's laying in bed on his phone.

A child’s safety should never ever be compromised end of

No, we always ate together.