To not leave my child alone while she is eating.

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We are due to go out in 40 minutes. DP has had a shower then likes to plonk on the bed for ages in his towel looking at his phone before he finishes getting ready. I have just asked if he can come down and watch DD (4) as she is still only halfway through breakfast so that I can get ready. He has shouted down and asked what she is eating and said she has ate that loads of times she will be fine. She choked on cake about 6 months ago and it was so scary trying to get her to cough it up.

AIBU would you leave a 4 year old eating downstairs by herself while you got a shower?

No no no, please never leave a child eating unattended, especially if there has previously been a choking episode 💐

We don't leave 5-year-old DS alone to eat for the same reason, and also because it's better for DC to have company whilst eating. Eating meals in front of the TV isn't allowed at our house as it's easy to ignore what your body is telling you when engrossed in a show, and the social aspect of meals is important to a child's development.

If she was choking you would not hear usually

But I can't say we have never left our child alone, at 4 I don't think your child actually needed someone enough to make this an issue

I’d be pissed off with DH lounging around in his towel when we were getting ready to go out (no issue with it on a lazy weekend) but yes a 4YO should be able to manage to eat breakfast by themselves. By 5 mine was coming downstairs and doing her own cereal and eating it on the sofa before anyone else was up!

Not worth the risk.

My eldest choked on some food when she was about 3 / 4. She was silent. If I hadn’t been in the room with her I wouldn’t have known.

I wouldn’t.

@Luredbyapomegranate agreed.'I do it every day. I'm a twat tho 😂

I’m with you here op my daughter had a horrific choking incident as a toddler and I won’t dare unwatch any of mine aged 7 and under! It takes seconds! To just sit for a few minutes for peace of mind it’s not something I’d risk!

Ot makes my heart skip a beat when I see parents driving and the kids are in car seats with food to! Big fat no from me!

Blimey, I always lay on my bed after a shower. I put my lovely towelling dressing gown on, and allow myself 10 minutes to dry off and bugger about on my phone.

DS is 20 now so really can't remember if I would have left him alone at 4 so eat his breakfast but I reckon I probably did.

I don't leave my four year old alone eating for long. I might run upstairs or outside to the recycling but would be right back, no dawdling. I don't necessarily stay in the same room but I'd be in the next one and chatting or listening to what's going on, and pop my head in regularly.

Completely understand you wanting someone around while she's eating, OP.

Our dd had a choking incident when she was 5. It was one of the most frightening moments of my life. I am glad I was there when it happened otherwise she might not be alive. So I completely understand where you are coming from.

I left my 5 year old this morning with a bowl of cereal and tv on when I left for work.

Her dad was upstairs asleep.( he works nights)

What is she eating that would take 40 mins?
I would supervise myself as he can’t be trusted.

It's fine to let a 4 year old eat breakfast on their own.

I'm guessing it's the cake crumbs that got her previously.

I think age is irrelevant here, anyone can choke and adults frequently choke. It's just luck if someone is around to help you when it happens.

Problem is, people don't make much noise when they're choking so if he's upstairs she wouldn't be able to alert him that there's a problem.

Because she choked recently and you're worried about it he really should get off his arse and go downstairs while she's eating, just to reassure you if nothing else.

One of mine had a choking scare at 5.

Fortunately we were somewhere that had medically trained staff because back slaps were needed to dislodge.

I am still haunted by it to this day and never left then to eat alone for a very long time after it.

He is now an adult and has moved out but that day is burnt in my mind.

It's not hard to make the effort to spend 10 mins with a 4 year old

My Dd never choked on her food, but my friends Dd seemed to do it more often.

I was with her on at least three occasions when it happened and all I can is remember the panic.

Better safe than sorry.

I quickly put away a small load of washing while my 4 year old is eating. She takes so long to eat with such tiny bites though I don't get too worried about it.

Because he has children to look after 🤷🏼‍♀️

He’s an idiot. Of course someone should be with her, if there’s an available adult. It’s much safer, and much more sociable. I’d feel sorry for a 4 year old sitting and eating breakfast alone.

My DD is 4 and I haven't thought about her eating along for years now, it wouldn't worry me at all.

Mine eat alone at that age - would never have occurred to me not to be fine with it.

Well it's no wonder you're worried after the choking incident. It would depend what my child is eating, for example my 4yo was eating rice krispies this morning and did leave her while I got ready as risk is so low, but I wasn't in the shower where I couldn't hear anything. Your dp is lazy, he just needs to go and sit with her and play on his phone if there if he must. My dp definitely thinks I'm over cautious about things and would also say she is fine, but he would go and sit with her if I asked.

Shocked at these responses.
I definitely watch my kids eating til they are about eight, unless it’s tiny stuff (rice crispies) they can’t choke on.

I think children eating their breakfast alone is a bit sad, choking worries (which is understandable here) regardless.

YANBU