Page 12 | Decline party invite because she gave me a thumbs up?

Cotton55 · 14/04/2023 13:46

potatowhale · 12/04/2023 17:04

Send her a poo emoji?

🤣

Redglitter · 14/04/2023 19:02

And the OP never returned - what a surprise 🙄

Madamum18 · 14/04/2023 19:17

Dear me! Ridiculous. Go for your daughters sake. Be thankful she didn't reply with a poo emoji!!

mustgetoffmn · 15/04/2023 09:13

You say you don’t know this Mum. Is it possible she is giving hearts to those she knows and thumbs to those she doesn’t? I think it sounds like she’s nice inviting all and I think using a heart emoji to someone you don’t know could feel a bit personal. Thumbs up still a cheery positive

mustgetoffmn · 15/04/2023 09:18

Mythril · 12/04/2023 16:53

But you are less "equal?" You say yourself you hardly know each other?

It's your DD that your putting yourself out for in the end, not this woman.

She says she doesn’t know the Mum. At all

Blackcat10 · 15/04/2023 13:44

This reply has been withdrawn

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

Blackcat10 · 15/04/2023 13:54

OrigamiOwls · 12/04/2023 16:53

I think you're reading a bit too much into emojis here...

This is exactly what I was thinking.

DarthMom · 15/04/2023 14:54

FrumptyMumpty · 12/04/2023 16:48

I know this is petty, but I find the whole birthday party scene an unwanted drain on my family time, my energy levels and my finances.

I’d much rather do play dates.

When you’ve got as many kids as I have it’s lucky if we don’t have a birthday each day of the weekend.

So my eldest daughter was invited to a party where everyone is invited.

I don’t know this mum, hardly see her to talk to her, but the kids get on so I was going to go… like you do. She came to my daughters party, exchange the gift back, etc

BUT the mum is obviously selectively responding to several mums RSVPs with either a 👍🏻or a ❤️

I got a thumbs up 👍🏻

Now I’m wondering why I should put myself out when she has outed me as being less equal than half the other mums.

AIBU to decline purely because of the 👍🏻?

You just said yourself that you’re not really close with this other mom. Perhaps she gave the ♥️ to the moms that’s she’s actually close to or friends with. You and she are NOT friends, your children are. Please get over yourself and let your child attend the party. It’d be a shame if you ruined their friendship over pettiness!

LizzieW1969 · 15/04/2023 23:17

I doubt the OP is reading this now, but, to add my twopence worth, she really is overthinking this! Why would this mum reply to her text with a ❤️, when she hardly knows her. That would be odd. A thumbs up, by contrast, is a very acceptable shorthand acknowledgement of texts these days.

Marmalady75 · 15/04/2023 23:27

A friend of mine told me recently that she finds 👍🏻 passive aggressive and dislikes people giving her messages a 👍🏻. I laughed thinking she was joking, but she was deadly serious. She says it’s like “yeah, right, I saw your message, but it’s not worthy of an actual written reply”. Maybe the Op thinks like this too? (Or maybe OP is actually my friend???)

Twentyfirstcenturymumma · 16/04/2023 08:27

Marmalady75 · 15/04/2023 23:27

A friend of mine told me recently that she finds 👍🏻 passive aggressive and dislikes people giving her messages a 👍🏻. I laughed thinking she was joking, but she was deadly serious. She says it’s like “yeah, right, I saw your message, but it’s not worthy of an actual written reply”. Maybe the Op thinks like this too? (Or maybe OP is actually my friend???)

Actually this is a really important point for me within a really fun, light-hearted stream.

I feel exactly the same as your friend actually and as for tldr, or tl:dr really really rude

Obvs that's sometimes what the intention is, ie, to be rude.

You see it a lot on MN of course. But for me the issue is that it is impossible to interpret even what van emoji is supposed to denote... all those weird facial expressions...

What do they all mean? I have no idea, and how do you know the person sending them knows because they change all time anyway?, 🤷‍♀️

GanjaDhin · 16/04/2023 09:09

LizzieW1969 · 15/04/2023 23:17

I doubt the OP is reading this now, but, to add my twopence worth, she really is overthinking this! Why would this mum reply to her text with a ❤️, when she hardly knows her. That would be odd. A thumbs up, by contrast, is a very acceptable shorthand acknowledgement of texts these days.

A ❤️ to a stranger would be odd, yes. It might even seem a bit creepy. In fact THAT might make me want to decline the invite. Oh dare…you can’t win these days.

NoGamesPlease69 · 16/04/2023 11:52

Be for real! It wasn't a devil emoji or vomit emoji so your daughter is in. Why do you need to control other people's way of doing things? Maybe hearts are for especially nice responses and thumbs up are just for plain old yes responses? Whatever it is surely it wasn't directed at your child nor you as a negative so stop the unnecessary drama 🤷🏽 let your poor child have some fun away from you. Obviously she needs it if emojis can ruin an event 🙄. Geez

KryptionEclipse · 16/04/2023 14:40

Do you need a hugs? You may have gotten the thumbs up because your an acquaintance, the others may be family members or close friends. You yourself said you guys do not talk, you don't have a personal enough connection yet to know if she what kind of person she is socially. Honestly there is no way I would heart someone who I don't talk to regularly's rsvp, I'd probably just thumbs up it and say thank you. This is about your daughter, your letting you feelings and insecurities have too much say over your behavior. We can't control how we feel, only how we act about how we feel. Are you gonna compromise your character in your daughters eyes because you didn't get a heart emoji? With someone your not even friends with?

Cantstandbullshitanymore · 17/04/2023 18:22

FrumptyMumpty · 12/04/2023 16:48

I know this is petty, but I find the whole birthday party scene an unwanted drain on my family time, my energy levels and my finances.

I’d much rather do play dates.

When you’ve got as many kids as I have it’s lucky if we don’t have a birthday each day of the weekend.

So my eldest daughter was invited to a party where everyone is invited.

I don’t know this mum, hardly see her to talk to her, but the kids get on so I was going to go… like you do. She came to my daughters party, exchange the gift back, etc

BUT the mum is obviously selectively responding to several mums RSVPs with either a 👍🏻or a ❤️

I got a thumbs up 👍🏻

Now I’m wondering why I should put myself out when she has outed me as being less equal than half the other mums.

AIBU to decline purely because of the 👍🏻?

Hey congrats you made the news lol

https://www.newsweek.com/mom-declining-daughter-birthday-party-emoji-1794294

Fury at mom declining daughter's birthday party invite over emoji

One Mumsnet user accused the mom of reacting in a "ridiculous and unreasonable" way to a simple emoji.

https://www.newsweek.com/mom-declining-daughter-birthday-party-emoji-1794294

ellyeth · 17/04/2023 19:11

\it's perhaps a little tactless but you do so you hardly know her. So a heart would be a bit over the top. A thumbs up is just friendly and positive.

I think you are reading too much into this.

NamedAfterABeatlesSong · 18/04/2023 17:40

Fuck me, are you having a laugh? It’s probably just that she doesn’t know you, as you said yourself! She won’t send you a love heart as she doesn’t effing know you OP!
Those that got hearts… perhaps she’s actual friends with them? 🙄 Good lord.

muppy · 20/04/2023 03:46

Marmalady75 · 15/04/2023 23:27

A friend of mine told me recently that she finds 👍🏻 passive aggressive and dislikes people giving her messages a 👍🏻. I laughed thinking she was joking, but she was deadly serious. She says it’s like “yeah, right, I saw your message, but it’s not worthy of an actual written reply”. Maybe the Op thinks like this too? (Or maybe OP is actually my friend???)

It is considered passive aggressive among people my age (young)! I do it myself though to people who do it to me (especially older people whom I'm not close to). It saves energy

Littleladygeorge · 20/04/2023 09:51

🤣🤣 you and me both!

SmartHome · 20/04/2023 14:56

I work with a load of people in their 20s including recent grads and they all do it.

muppy · 21/04/2023 00:24

SmartHome · 20/04/2023 14:56

I work with a load of people in their 20s including recent grads and they all do it.

Yeah I do it at work