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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Decline party invite because she gave me a thumbs up?

296 replies

FrumptyMumpty · 12/04/2023 16:48

I know this is petty, but I find the whole birthday party scene an unwanted drain on my family time, my energy levels and my finances.

I’d much rather do play dates.

When you’ve got as many kids as I have it’s lucky if we don’t have a birthday each day of the weekend.

So my eldest daughter was invited to a party where everyone is invited.

I don’t know this mum, hardly see her to talk to her, but the kids get on so I was going to go… like you do. She came to my daughters party, exchange the gift back, etc

BUT the mum is obviously selectively responding to several mums RSVPs with either a 👍🏻or a ❤️

I got a thumbs up 👍🏻

Now I’m wondering why I should put myself out when she has outed me as being less equal than half the other mums.

AIBU to decline purely because of the 👍🏻?

OP posts:
viques · 12/04/2023 19:03

ananass · 12/04/2023 19:01

🤣

Wanker and Cockwomble

To add, I’m not calling anyone that on the thread, I’m just adding them to the list!

Show quote history

Thankyou. I am sticking to ones I know 🙂

Tilllly · 12/04/2023 19:05

Neededanewuserhandle · 12/04/2023 16:51

Oh shit - there's a hierarchy of emojis ?

I am fucked then.

GrinGrinGrin
You and me both

Blueblell · 12/04/2023 19:09

If you decline now you will either get a thumbs down or broken heart

lljkk · 12/04/2023 19:09

-> Classics, please @MNHQ

Tilllly · 12/04/2023 19:09

I'm hoping you're joking

If you're not, seriously don't read anything into it
Take your daughter to the party
Have fun

ActDottie · 12/04/2023 19:11

Seriously? You must be a troll

Allthegoodusernamesareused · 12/04/2023 19:12

Unless this is a joke... I'm struggling to recognise who the children are in this scenario.

Bonkers.

Thegoodbadandugly · 12/04/2023 19:16

Good lord you probably need a job!

katepilar · 12/04/2023 19:18

I think she gives the thumbs up to people she doesnt feel comfortable to give a heart?
It just shows how all this social media isnt a always a great way of communicating. I dont get why you need to RVSP on a /semi?/ public place.

PJPatrol · 12/04/2023 19:18

ananass · 12/04/2023 19:02

I think it’s on a group chat!

Show quote history

Ah, of course. That's much less amusing 🤦‍♀️🤣

SmileyClare · 12/04/2023 19:19

6namechang3 · 12/04/2023 17:00

Someone much younger than me said thumbs up was passive aggressive on teams and they always use heart. I have no idea if this is a commonly held notion ?

What is the world coming to where people perceive an emoji on Teams as a personal slight? How on earth do they cope in the real world? 🙃

Whatkindofuckeryisthis · 12/04/2023 19:20

If there’s that many kids invited I am sure a thumbs up or heart is sufficient to appreciate your reply. Why be so dramatic ?! What did you want!!

Vegetus · 12/04/2023 19:22

I refuse to go to parties unless I'm sent a hand written letter replying to my RSVP detailing how much I mean to them in no less than a 1000 words.

ChrisPPancake · 12/04/2023 19:22

YAB ridiculous Confused

Agapornis · 12/04/2023 19:23

Is this about the thumb being used sarcastically? Maybe she just likes to mix them up? Not everyone is great at using emojis. My mum uses 🍆 to tell me she's having aubergine for dinner, and think this 😏 means oh no/sigh.

GoodChat · 12/04/2023 19:23

I just want to know how many kids you have and how many parties they've missed out on due to perceived slights.

Pixie2015 · 12/04/2023 19:23

🤮

twinmum2007 · 12/04/2023 19:25

FrumptyMumpty · 12/04/2023 16:48

I know this is petty, but I find the whole birthday party scene an unwanted drain on my family time, my energy levels and my finances.

I’d much rather do play dates.

When you’ve got as many kids as I have it’s lucky if we don’t have a birthday each day of the weekend.

So my eldest daughter was invited to a party where everyone is invited.

I don’t know this mum, hardly see her to talk to her, but the kids get on so I was going to go… like you do. She came to my daughters party, exchange the gift back, etc

BUT the mum is obviously selectively responding to several mums RSVPs with either a 👍🏻or a ❤️

I got a thumbs up 👍🏻

Now I’m wondering why I should put myself out when she has outed me as being less equal than half the other mums.

AIBU to decline purely because of the 👍🏻?

This is likely to end up in the Daily Fail "X% of mums would decline a birthday invite if they didn't get the right emoji" Or some such shit.

Tilllly · 12/04/2023 19:25

Vegetus · 12/04/2023 19:22

I refuse to go to parties unless I'm sent a hand written letter replying to my RSVP detailing how much I mean to them in no less than a 1000 words.

I require 2000 words
And evidence

SeaDee · 12/04/2023 19:27

Twat

OllytheCollie · 12/04/2023 19:29

😭😭😭😗😗

jenny38 · 12/04/2023 19:30

Oh my, you are not 13! You don't really know her, so get over it and go to the party!

Hellybelly84 · 12/04/2023 19:33

Firstly, you are completely overthinking it and secondly the most important thing is your daughter goes to her friend’s party and has a great time.

Perhaps she’s given heart emoji’s to the Mums she knows really well out of school (as proper friends) and a thumbs up to everyone else? I would probably do the same.

DedicatedFollowerOfFashion84 · 12/04/2023 19:35

This can’t be serious?!?!

Ithurtsthebackofmyeyes · 12/04/2023 19:36

Grow up. Please. If you’ve got as many kids as you suggest, being petty like this is only going to hurt them.