To think this cannot be right?

[Coppercreek1]

DS is 9 years old and has severe autism, he attends a special school and in the holidays he occasionally attends a SEND play scheme, where I pay for a 1 on 1 to help him.

It was noted when he started going that he needs promoting to use the toilet, but otherwise rarely needs assistance, I was assured this was ok.

I dropped him off this morning, 1.5 hours later I get a phone call that DS has had a poo accident, and that they had tried to encourage him to clean himself up but no one there is insured to help him so I needed to come and clean him up, I advised I was 25 or so minutes away but that I would get there ASAP.

On arrival, I found a staff member holding the door to the disabled toilet shut as my son banged the door from the other side, so they shut him in the bathroom alone the entire time.

He had made a good attempt to clean himself up but he is non verbal and disabled! He had a small smear on his hands and feet and the tiniest bit on his butt.

I immediately cleaned and helped him dress and was just in such shock I just walked out with him and took him home.

Is this normal routine for a playscheme that is aimed at disabled children?! While their policies state they do not offer routine personal care nowhere does it state that in an emergency they won't step in for the well-being of the child.

He has attended this scheme in the summer holidays and Christmas holidays and earlier in the Easter holidays and they have never had to provide personal care so clearly they knew it was a one off, bit of a bad belly?!

Surely common sense should prevail and couple of baby wipes could have sorted it without locking a naked child in a toilet for 40 minutes rather than help him.

Surely they should have someone on sight insured Incase of emergencies like this.

wIBU to complain?

Nothing about this is ok. You need to make a noise. How dare they take him to ‘care for him’, charge you extra for 1-2-1, and then treat him this way. It simply cannot be right. It is barbaric.

This is just awful. Your poor boy. You need to take this to the highest level. It's abuse.

Ive never signed a care plan for him at school that I'm aware of?

Though he started at his special school In nappies aged 3 and over the past few years they've been doing the toilet training process with us but I don't recall a specific plan around personal care?

Since being in his current school he has had maybe 2 accidents? They just clean and change him and carry on, personal care isn't something he needs routinely, just clearly today he had a bad belly and didn't make it in time.

What is the 1:1’s role? Is changing/toileting part of the remit?

No it's not generally, as usually not an issue other than prompting and escorting

I’m horrified by your sons experience OP- I’m so sorry both of you had this experience!

No idea about the legalities, requirements etc but I’d totally agree for the nature of the camp you describe SOMEONE should be on site for this situation. The word ‘inhumane’ is exactly right. Can you imagine the headlines if this standard of care was reported locally in a care home?

I’m not normally fighty (quite the opposite) but I do choose my battles and I’d be kicking up a merry stink about this- if only with the camp providers. I’d have all my proverbial guns a-blazing. This whole situation is disgusting. Again, a word I rarely use. I’d be really upset.

I don’t have close personal experience living with Autism but if my NT 8yo son experienced this sort of situation he would be pretty traumatised. I can only imagine it might be even more traumatic for your son who cannot verbalise or easily communicate his experience.

I hope your boy is OK.

He attended in summer and Christmas without a 1 to 1 as with high ratios they said it wasn't needed. But at Christmas club there was an incident where he was left unattended and turned all the taps on so they said they couldn't take him again without us paying extra for a 1 to 1 (which we have happily done)

Personal care has never been an issue before just clearly today he had a stomach upset and/or wasnt prompted as agreed

I’m also trying to imagine in what sort of professional situation I’d hold the door shut locking in a traumatised 8yo child- irrespective of disability- who is soiled with his own faeces.

Insured or not, I’d be hauling in a colleague/ chaperone and doing everything I could to help him.

Sorry about serial posts. I’m just really (naively) shocked.

FWIW I am a medic. When I see someone in acute need, like your son, I don’t pause and think ‘am I insured’ before I manage the crisis in from of me. I think the care here was so below the bar it’s unforgivable.

FWIW I am a medic. When I see someone in acute need, like your son, I don’t pause and think ‘am I insured’ before I manage the crisis in from of me. I think the care here was so below the bar it’s unforgivable.

I'm not a medic but I could never ever witness a child in distress and not try to provide some comfort and reassurance.

Surely if you paid extra for a 1:1 for him they should have supported him in this situation, where were they?

This is so so sad. Your poor son. He must have wondered what was going on. Seems very strange to me that there was no one there who was willing to help him. They would rather lock him in the toilet until you got there. What did they say to you when you arrived? Were they at least apologetic? Not that that should make any difference.

OMG, this made me so sad whilst reading it. You are definitely not being unreasonable. Poor child 😞 it seems so cruel to leave him along without helping for long, he is only 9 and disabled. You need to find out what happened and complain ASAP. And re-consider if you want to keep sending him there. Absolutely unacceptable.

I wish I had some helpful advice but I don't, OP, other than to reiterate what others have said: take this as high up as you can go. Your poor lovely boy. I hope this is dealt with swiftly and harshly for the incompetent workers and you get as good an outcome as you can. Best wishes.

I don’t have any knowledge of the legalities, but I can’t believe this is right. Poor little lad. Hope you are both ok

I'm disgusted that they left this poor child like this.
As for locking him in shocking.

The people working there should be thoroughly ashamed.

Omg aww! I’m so sorry you had this experience. Fucking child cruelty that is, to leave a vulnerable child in distress, even worse being he wasn’t able to communicate. I definitely don’t think it’s worth the money. I’d advise you to send an official complain and fight back as hard as you can. Imagine if this is how they treat all incidents with poor innocent children they don’t want to get involved with!! This is a serious issue to me and all employee need to be dealt with promptly. I’m raging inside

Absolutely agreed.

I only say my profession as in the realms of providing care (in my case healthcare, in the OPs situation it’s childcare) you are more likely to be sued/ held to professional standards as part of that role if you ‘breach protocol’.

But in an emergency you need to do what is properly right, not what your insurance company dictates.

Please don’t send your child back there again, and don’t stop until you’ve raised this. Absolutes shitbags to allow such a thing. I really hope your son is okay

I have already explained this

1. Lifelong legal insurance
2. hepatitis immunisations - these used to be compulsory in such settings, and you definitely cannot undertake personal care without.

Imagine if it were the other way around. I admittedly have no idea about the legalities behind it or the threshold for social services but if a nine year old went into school and told the teacher they had been locked in the toilet naked for 40 minutes while banging against the door to get out I would suspect words would be had!

What is the name of this insurance?

So do all nursery workers, SEN school TAS, childminders etc need lifelong insurance and Hep B vaccines? I'm intrigued as never heard of either before

This is awful OP I’m sorry this happened to your poor boy. If they can’t do personal care they need a contingency plan which does not involve locking a naked child in a toilet! It is absolutely unacceptable.

They should have an intimate care policy, regardless of what any child’s individual plans say.

We have one in a mainstream secondary school - it’s not for anyone in particular - to the best of my knowledge we don’t have anyone currently with routine intimate care needs - but it sets out what we would do in the event that intimate care was needed - such as an unexpected toileting accident.

Ask to see their policy, and then consider whether you think they have followed it.

That’s awful - complain

“All the way home he cried saying 'stuck, can't get out'

He wasn't crying when I got there. But was butt naked, alone, in a bathroom... His clothes weren't in there so he couldnt have even got dressed even if he wanted to.”

I simply cannot get over this, and reading it brought tears to my eyes. Please don’t send your child back whatsoever, and have this taken as seriously as possible by those in charge. Show them your rage and anger. I am so sad for you and your boy.