To think this cannot be right?

[Coppercreek1]

DS is 9 years old and has severe autism, he attends a special school and in the holidays he occasionally attends a SEND play scheme, where I pay for a 1 on 1 to help him.

It was noted when he started going that he needs promoting to use the toilet, but otherwise rarely needs assistance, I was assured this was ok.

I dropped him off this morning, 1.5 hours later I get a phone call that DS has had a poo accident, and that they had tried to encourage him to clean himself up but no one there is insured to help him so I needed to come and clean him up, I advised I was 25 or so minutes away but that I would get there ASAP.

On arrival, I found a staff member holding the door to the disabled toilet shut as my son banged the door from the other side, so they shut him in the bathroom alone the entire time.

He had made a good attempt to clean himself up but he is non verbal and disabled! He had a small smear on his hands and feet and the tiniest bit on his butt.

I immediately cleaned and helped him dress and was just in such shock I just walked out with him and took him home.

Is this normal routine for a playscheme that is aimed at disabled children?! While their policies state they do not offer routine personal care nowhere does it state that in an emergency they won't step in for the well-being of the child.

He has attended this scheme in the summer holidays and Christmas holidays and earlier in the Easter holidays and they have never had to provide personal care so clearly they knew it was a one off, bit of a bad belly?!

Surely common sense should prevail and couple of baby wipes could have sorted it without locking a naked child in a toilet for 40 minutes rather than help him.

Surely they should have someone on sight insured Incase of emergencies like this.

wIBU to complain?

No! It’s an excuse. I’ve often heard people say things like that but they can never explain what the insurance is called, what it covers and what the insurers would be paying out for if there was a claim. You could ask them! The kindest interpretation is that they mean “I don’t want to do this, it isn’t part of the normal job and I’m worried about getting in some kind of trouble if the child said I took his pants down / touched his bum, therefore something something insurance”.

But to shut him in the toilet was unforgivable imo and suggests that they’re neither competent nor kind.

It also needs to be in the care plan, so if its not, again, it's not something they can do. It's rules and red tape to protect against potential allegations.

Exactly. The care plan - signed and agreed by parent/caregiver. This is the difference. Their hands were technically tied.

It was noted when he started going that he needs promoting to use the toilet

What do you mean here by promoting?

I would think that if there are any sort of continence/personal care issues, a personal care plan should be in place and followed-so that you and staff know what is happening? Shutting him in a toilet whilst he bangs on the door isn’t a plan. Should the 1:1 have been helping him?

Is promoting a typo for prompting?

Yes sorry prompting was what I was trying to type!

He requires physically taking to the toilet and essentially saying 'have a wee' and he will go, he cannot use the toilet unprompted

Is it not their place to ensure he has this when I poke to them regarding his needs before he started attending the scheme?

He did 4 days in the summer holidays, 2 days in the Christmas holidays and now this is his second day of the Easter holidays. So it's not a full time kind of thing, but is run by a huge charity that provide activities for disabled children

He doesnt have a care plan at another place he attends on a similar ad hoc basis like he does this one... Should I be pushing for one?!

Realistically if I ask for one they will say they can't take him anymore but it is what it is.

Complain? I'd go all out to make sure this never happens again. Your poor son . I would also be concerned about how they treat the other children.

When DS7 (also autism) has an accident at school they clean and change him. I’ve not signed any care plan as far as I’m aware. As for safeguarding they do the same as what I did when working in nursery’s and they’d to have two members of staff present when changing him.

I wouldn’t be happy with this at the very least they could’ve of cleaned his hands and feet helped him get dressed and let him play till you turned up or had someone to sit down quietly with him till you turned up.

I'm not a 100% sure this is right or how it works but have been told that ehcp can be used in childcare settings as well. Might be worth looking into .

Also would be worth leaving reviews on company page/ website. Only so other parents are aware of the situation

Op I'd make complaints and not just to the facility.

They locked him in a disabled toilet for 40mins. That's just nasty.

People always talk on MN about how few disabled toilets there are and how they need to be available to people when people urgently need them. What if someone else had needed in there?

I’d be concerned too. A large charity that runs holiday activities for disabled children should be prepared for things like this. The staff should certainly know that shutting a disabled child in the toilet is cruel and absolutely wrong.
@Coppercreek1 if you don’t get a satisfactory response from the local management, you could contact the CEO and since it’s a charity ultimately the Trustees.

If a parent was reported for doing this to their own child, I'm sure SS would be called.

That’s made me feel sick to the stomach. Your poor boy trying his best to clean himself up and locked away for having an accident 😢
I’d play merry hell and he wouldn’t be returning.

Wow, how bloody ridiculous. I would definitely complain, but you will just get the same crap in reply about not being insured. Unbelievable really, they should have spelled out that they were too useless to give any assistance whatsoever at the booking stage.

I honestly cried the whole way home.

His understanding level is too low to know what was going on or why he was there.

All the way home he cried saying 'stuck, can't get out'

He wasn't crying when I got there. But was butt naked, alone, in a bathroom... His clothes weren't in there so he couldnt have even got dressed even if he wanted to. Just no dignity for him at all

What the actual fuck were they thinking?!

This should absolutely be escalated. Is there an organisation that runs the club?

I would complain to the company and contact the local authority safeguarding team. Even if they absolutely weren't prepared to carry out personal care they should not have locked him in a room naked. That is awful.

The club must have a regulatory body - I'd complain to them.

Where were his clothes?

Were the school saying that they shut him in because they're not allowed to assist him so they were preserving his privacy by not letting the other children see him naked?
It does sound a very sad situation for your son. Even as adults we have accidents that are difficult for us to clean ourselves up in a public toilet. You'd hope staff in their position would have more compassion than that.

I have no idea about care plans or insurance or anything like that. I'm not normally a softy but this really bothered me. I feel so sad for your ds and you. He must have been so confused. Sending you both lots of love

I would complain to the highest levels. Surely if he's mostly cleaned up (as you mention a few smears) then they could have talked him through getting dressed even though he wasn't completely clean, then helped him wash his hands and face while you came? You can still wear clothes even if you're a bit dirty underneath, and then sort out properly at home.

I would be very angry that any play scheme would do this, SEN or not. Every kids has the potential to be sick or to have a toilet accident or a nose bleed or or or or or, and the staff should support the kid to get sorted to the best of their ability even if they have a "hands off" policy.

He doesnt have a care plan at another place he attends on a similar ad hoc basis like he does this one...Should I be pushing for one?!

If he can’t use the toilet unaided then I’m presuming he has a care plan at school though? I’d just share a copy of that with any other external providers you use.

What is the 1:1’s role here? Is supporting with personal card part of their remit?

Personal care