HI OP, it is so very difficult - especially if you've had a first kid who was more reasonable, so it feel like this is something 'going wrong' when it is actually just a variation of normal!
Would second the recommendation re "How to Talk so Little Kids Will Listen", It's got so many really useful ideas in it (turning tantrum-points into games is one which almost always works on my two girls). The really good thing about the book is its acknowledgment that no technique will work every time, or for every child. It's very much a 'try this, if that doesn't work, then this, if nothing works, then do this (if you have time) or this (if you have no time)"... it also provides 'scripts', which I find very helpful when I know none of the words that are naturally going t come out of my own mouth in the face of my stress from their behaviour are going to be kind, nurturing or productive. I turn to the scripts and fake it until we (somehow!) make it.
The thing is, it doesn't make things 'easier' as such, it just means the work is elsewhere (so summoning up the enthusiasm to be "The Sock Monster" who wants to eat their feet at 6.30AM vs the strength to wrestle them screaming to the ground and pull their socks on at 6.30AM). So if you're looking for 'easier' in the sense of 'less work' I think it's unrealistic - toddlers are knackering, by their very nature.
I often find, after a bad day of tears and tantrums (all round!), I have to go and re-read the book and reabsorb the strategies, because it takes work to maintain them and I'll realise that the reason we've had a bad day is because I've fallen back into old habits of placating, bribing, throwing my hands up in self-pity at how hard they are making things, or getting shouty.
I know SunnySaturdayMorning has pissed you off, and her manner is incredibly annoying - but it is true there are ways we can pre-empt or respond to tantrums that make them better or worse (absolutely there's no preventing tantrums at all, and someone would have to be stupid to think there was) - toddlers tantrum, because their lives are confusing and they are often powerless and this is infuriating. Adults tantrum, we just call it 'reaching the end of our tether' or 'losing our shit' or 'having enough' and verbalise around it. But the core emotions "This is really hard/not what I want, no-one is listening to me, no-one is helping me, it's NOT FAIR" are exactly the same.
And the speaking empathy thing SSM talks about - "It's so frustrating when we can't have what we want/I know you're so upset you can't have that now/I hate stopping when I'm having fun too" - although as she grows up and gets more comprehension this will be a good habit to be in for validating her emotions, at this stage it's as much for you as for her - it's to remind you that she isn't doing it to infuriate you, to hurt you, or to make you late, she's not being manipulative or unkind, she's really feeling very upset for reasons you can fully empathise with at the core.
No-one likes to be rushed into getting ready in the morning. No-one likes not to be able to choose what to eat. No-one likes it when they've made a mistake that can't be fixed. It's just she has no appreciation of what is a big problem or a little problem; all her problems are little to you, because she's little. But they're the only problems she's got, so they feel very big!
By SAYING those empathetic things, it will remind you how much you love her (even when she's being a nightmare) and that will make it easier to be calm.
The only other thing I'll say is - it sounds like your morning and evening schedule is very very tight, so you're probably rushing - this isn't your fault, it's the life we lead now. But the fact she is almost always being woken by you rather than waking on her own, the fact that she has to be woken up early so you need to get her to bed quite early to make sure she gets enough sleep, the fact you get very little down time with her on nursery days - these will all be ramping up the stress and triggering the tantrums as you just have to get her through a list of tasks - up, nappy, dressed, breakfast - none of which she sees the urgency of so will be finding that stressful and annoying.
Is there ANYWHERE in the schedule you could build in some connection time? Like maybe go into her 15/20 mins earlier so you can snuggle and chat a bit before getting her moving? Or possibly co-sleeping part of the night (you say she wakes a lot anyway so this may actually be useful on multiple fronts as less to-and-fro for you in the night)? Basically a hectic schedule with limited connection time will set you up to be at odds from the getgo. I imagine at weekends or days off things tend to be more chilled.
I really don't intend any of this to be patronising (you've raised a child to near adulthood successfully, you know how to suck these eggs!). Just that different kids need different things. My eldest responded really well to verbal reasoning; my youngest is a savage and the only way to get her onside is to make her laugh. My eldest, while very sensitive to her own feelings, is still largely oblivious to others' even at 6 - my youngest, for all she's much wilder and 'naughtier', is actually really sensitive to other people and will often become very upset if she sees she's hurt/upset me. They need totally different handling. You'll find the way with your little girl too. And the things about our toddlers that drive us CRAZY now are usually the characteristics that will be huge strengths in later life.
Solidarity - you'll be OK, she is totally OK, and we all have much the same experiences! <3