AIBU Proof of disability is fine ?

[Itsamission25]

My previous post was about an incident regarding daughter ( 9 in wheelchair ) being refused the wheelchair space on a bus in favour of a toddler in a stroller and a sleeping baby in a stroller.
anyway, I have tried to gain some online support regarding the company and also put in a complaint with the bus company but this has caused a debate about invisible illnesses.
apparently companies should not be allowed to ask for evidence of disability ? I find this a bit odd. There is certain things that annoy me now about this for example how anyone can buy a disabled toilet radar key, how sunflower lanyards ( I think ) are readily available for anyone so lose there authenticity I find.
now my daughter has a wheelchair - yes and has a physical medical device that is visible, however we still need to show evidence for things like blue badge / parking. Carers tickets / ride access at theme parks etc.
surely this is correct, I have never had an issue with needing to. If you took away the rights of companies or organisations being able to do this surely everything would just be abused ?

I know! However, I don’t think they’re abused as much as it might seem and that there’s probably only a very small percentage of people who have one that don’t need it. That said, that’s only my experience of it. If disabled loos (I’m thinking of the Alton Towers ones as an example) were just open then I can see them being abused. I’m sure there’s one at the entrance inside the park that doesn’t need a key and it seems to have a steady stream of users at busy times, whereas the one near Rita which needs a key hardly has anyone in it, regardless of busyness. And I know that the people in the one near the front could have an invisible disability but when you see people in the regular queue then go into the disabled loo because they don’t want to wait, it’s natural to question it!

@SquareRootOfAllEvil

I also hate Registered Disabled as a term

There actually WAS a register at one time but it was done away with in the 90s for being creepy, unhelpful and a bit fascist

Proof is needed for a blue badge. Either your PiP entitlement or an assessment from the council.

My foster child has been through hell, he is severely disabled, blind, non verbal, has severe complex needs in all areas born very early addicted to heroin and methodone, he cannot feed himself, he cannot talk or communicate in any way. But he's 3yrs old, still travels in a pushchair and looks normal unless people notice his shaky eyes or he has a spasm episode. If people were to question me on him then if tell them to mind their business. You need to at some point just trust that the majority of people are good and ho eat and I am not disrespecting my boy and airing his private issues for all to hear. Its would feel far to disrespectful!

commonslibrary.parliament.uk/registering-as-disabled/

This is the info @SquareRootOfAllEvil

Was done away with in 95 or 96

That’s not what OP was saying though. So, using my Alton Towers example. If you were having a family day out (assuming your foster son could be included) at a theme park and you wanted to get carer’s entry, would you be happy to show the relevant proof then?

@Lippydoody

Be really careful with the radar keys. Sometimes, the internal lock doesn’t work properly and anyone can open the door with a key whilst you’re on the loo.

Thank, I have had this happen in the past. If the lock looks at all dodgy I leave now. Hope for the best with the others and 90% of the time I'm not alone, thankfully. There was one time I was in my own and mid pee when an alarm started going off (I hadn't touched anything) and I was terrified the attendant was just going to come in but couldn't stop seeing. It also is a bit of an effort for me to get 'back together' after a wee I was fortunate that no one came in but it left me quite concerned for anyone who actually needed help in the loo.

I was somewhere with ds last week which has a secondary lock which was a big touch pad on the inside which locked/unlocked it which I thought was a good improvement

(it said it automatically unlocked after 30 minutes or when the emergency cord was pulled)

I unlocked a RADAR toilet once in a Spoons to find a drunk lying on the floor

I once tried to use the accessible toilet at a train station and I had to ask the cleaner because it was cordoned off and she asked me 'why?'

It infuriated me to the point I complained the the station management, so while I don't have an issue providing proof I absolutely do not want to explain myself to a cleaner. Particularly when I am at risk of wetting myself.

Wow, I know this is off topic but the more I hear about radar keys, dodgy locks, key pads etc, the more I can't imagine my dc ever being able to manage this. Which is a shame, because I can definitely see that they would be capable of going into a unlocked disabled toilet and locking it behind them, if it just had a 'typical' public toilet lock on it. So potentially the radar key system will end up preventing her independence - in my view it would be much more 'accessible' to leave them unlocked and rely on people's conscience in terms of not using them if they don't need them.

You're all arguing the wrong point.

If you were on a bus sat in the disabled area as a disabled person (visible or not) would you refuse to move for someone in a wheelchair if you physically could?? That's the issue.

That would never be an issue because the wheelchair space is a dedicated space separate to the disabled seats. It's an issue with people who have kids in pushchairs who don't want to move/fold them up.

Exactly. So why is everyone getting huffy about bringing proof of disability? That's not the issue. The issue is people - any people- refusing to move. You might get the odd person claiming invisible disability (truthfully or not) but there's not many like that out there surely? Those with buggies must be forced to remove sleeping children/fold up buggies etc. The drivers should refuse to move until they do so in place of a wheelchair.

Exactly. So why is everyone getting huffy about bringing proof of disability? That's not the issue. The issue is people - any people- refusing to move

The issue is surely about proof of disability, because that's what the thread is about?

Which is the point I made earlier - none of the people on the OP's bus actually claimed to have a disability, so whether they could prove it if they had is a moot point.

Exactly! OP you're going down the wrong route. Complain on the basis anyone with a buggy MUST be forced to collapse it by the bus driver refusing to move the bus (sleeping child or not) and Move due to a wheelchair. I'm absolutely digusted that any mother or father would do anything differently to that to be honest. Shame on them.

A lot of theme parks now are using access card.

You can get a free one or you can then upgrade for £15 for the full version.

It's actually quite good because it uses symbols to show what support you need.

But the issue is that they don't.

Parents refuse to collapse a stroller for those actually in wheelchairs on buses where there is a speedo if wheelchair space.

The problem is that many people won't do the decent thing and move over for those more in need and those with disabilities are fighting back about having to prove they are disabled.

It's a stalemate that won't move forward.

My ds has never had an issue proving his disability and I agree with theme parks cracking down. It's got to the point you queue for an hour in the access queue so they need to ensure the system isn't abused.

So say the disabled toilet I have a bowl issue that means when I need the toilet I need the toilet. I don’t get pip for it, or a blue badge, so if I needed it and the disabled was the only option am in it disabled enough via a toileting issue to use the disabled toilet which also has its own private sink which is invaluable

So what I think we need is a national card like the access card.

So it works like a drivers license, passport, blue badge etc.

My experience of the access card is that it is very hard to apply for. I have been in and off the site so many times starting an application then giving up because they want so much. They want more than disability benefit proof. They want more then diagnosis. The hoops to jump through just seem to high.

TOO high

You can just buy a RADAR key online you don't need proof

Of course ,but there is endless debate on here about wheelchair spces.on buses,and how mum's with babies and toddlers ( who.are not disablec) don't understand why wheelchairs users should get priority, that along with people thinking that blue badge spaces are akin to parent and child spaces