AIBU Proof of disability is fine ?

[Itsamission25]

My previous post was about an incident regarding daughter ( 9 in wheelchair ) being refused the wheelchair space on a bus in favour of a toddler in a stroller and a sleeping baby in a stroller.
anyway, I have tried to gain some online support regarding the company and also put in a complaint with the bus company but this has caused a debate about invisible illnesses.
apparently companies should not be allowed to ask for evidence of disability ? I find this a bit odd. There is certain things that annoy me now about this for example how anyone can buy a disabled toilet radar key, how sunflower lanyards ( I think ) are readily available for anyone so lose there authenticity I find.
now my daughter has a wheelchair - yes and has a physical medical device that is visible, however we still need to show evidence for things like blue badge / parking. Carers tickets / ride access at theme parks etc.
surely this is correct, I have never had an issue with needing to. If you took away the rights of companies or organisations being able to do this surely everything would just be abused ?

Many people don't have any "proof". I'm ND and don't claim any benefits and never received a big shiny diagnosis certificate so there's really not much I can use to document my status. Perhaps naively, I think the majority of people can be trusted not to take advantage of disability concessions. There will always be grifters who do play the system but they'll do it whatever controls are in place.

I agree with you. I actually think one shouldn’t have to prove their disability at all and I think it is an intrusion to ask what kind of disability. I’m only saying to those that have that evidence that it should be sufficient and not have to have an access card, which is another level of intrusion. It dismays me the amount of people who feel entitled to question someone else on their disabilities or their rights to access for services and, like you, think those who will abuse the system are in the minority and would do it regardless.

I think disabled people are, quite rightly, protective of disabled spaces.

Also my various diagnosis letters are not fucking 'shiny certificates' - thats a deeply horrible thing to say. I'm sorry for the people who haven't got their diagnoses, but being nasty about those who have isn't an attractive quality.

And even in England not everyone with 10 points for planning and following a journey automatically qualifies. Only those with 10 points under descriptor E i.e. Cannot undertake any journey because it would cause overwhelming psychological distress to the claimant. Not those with 10 points under descriptor D i.e. Cannot follow the route of an unfamiliar journey without another person, assistance dog or orientation aid.

So if a place offers free access for carers they are wrong to ask for evidence? If they can’t ask for evidence then people will take the piss and they will stop offering it.

often when out now Ds disability if visible by combination of wheelchair and/or feeding pump connected so in those cases we aren’t generally asked. If we are accessing somewhere that offers carers concessions when he isn’t using either then I will show a copy of carers letter or a photo of the blue badge to show.

if places end up stopping such concessions then that will make it even harder for those who need them to be able to access them

I certainly don't have any big shiny certificate of diagnoses

I do think that disability concessions would be abused if some sort of eligibility was not required, sadly. Then organisations would stop offering concessions so disabled people lose out. You only have to look at rates of thefts of blue badges to see that there are plenty of people willing to abuse the system. I think things like the Access Card scheme are the least worst solution, but not perfect.

@Pedestriancrossing yes I’m thinking that what I said earlier would maybe be better like lots of other people have said they don’t like showing their pip letters etc thay maybe if DLA and pip sent a basics card along with qualification

on other notes about our big shiny certificates of diagnosis’s I find a little patronising, my daughter has a life threatning disease I am pretty sure we don’t see it as a shiny certificate.

It isn't a horrible thing to say. You projected meaning onto my comment that was never intended when I wrote it and made an incorrect assumption that I'm undiagnosed. That's not the case, but I wasn't given any formalised or written confirmation at the time. Stop being so butthurt.

I am speaking from direct experience when I say measures involving proof of disability HAD to be brought in at

a) Theme Parks

and

b) Concert Venues

Due to the sheer volume of people trying to abuse concessions, seating and passes and it becoming obvious to parks and venues.

I had someone freely admit to my face that they had asked for disabled seating they did not require at a sold out concert and they received it.

There are more chancers out there who are happy to take things away from vulnerable groups than people believe

It isn't a horrible thing to say. You projected meaning onto my comment that was never intended when I wrote it and made an incorrect assumption that I'm undiagnosed. That's not the case, but I wasn't given any formalised or written confirmation at the time. Stop being so butthurt.

It was plain nasty. Don't accuse me of projecting because I picked up on your shitty comment. I assumed you are not diagnosed because you ducking said that you don't have the 'shiny diagnosis certificate' - I couldn't give a fuck either way but the way you talk about diagnostic reports is disgusting.

But I wasn't talking about diagnostic reports, was I. Do you always make everything about yourself?

I point blank refuse to apply for an access card. Actually getting one isn't easy and they seem to want a hell of a lot of evidence, mainly medical. They are very heavily weighted towards accessibility needs being because of medical needs. They also assume that wheelchair users don't need an accessibility queue symbol on the card because they are seated in a wheelchair. Queue access isn't solely about how long someone can stand fyi.

Regarding being able to buy toilet keys on Amazon- good. I would rather do it this way than have to explain to someone why I want to buy a toilet key. People seem to assume that as soon as you have a disability your private medical information is a matter of public information. Some things I don't want to share. Including my toilet accessibility needs.

I've said it before and I will say it again. Anyone who thinks having a disability is a good thing because of all the 'perks' you get is more than welcome to my blue badge/toilet keys e.t.c. All I want in exchange is one day where I can function without pain/fatigue/lots of meds.

The things people are saying about the Access card being challenging to, ironically, access come as a surprise to me, my experience was easy and quick with no invasive medical queries. I wonder why if everyone else's wasn't?

I have a radar key as have IBD but don't consider myself disabled in any other way. I would find it very difficult to prove it. Unless of course I didn't have the radar key - but then I except no one would want to see the evidence. I didn't realise it was such a top trumps situation. It's a case of necessity and not privilege

But I wasn't talking about diagnostic reports, was I.

never received a big shiny diagnosis certificate

Hmm

Do you always make everything about yourself

I never made it about me. It's about you and your nasty comments about 'big shiny diagnosis certificates'

I'm not sure which part of my objecting to your awful comment you think makes it about me. It's not about me. You are the one with the issue here. You are the one being rude and disrespectful. You are the one unable to say 'oh yeah, that was wrong of me'. You. Not me. I'm just here to tell you how nasty it is and stand up for anyone who does happen to have a diagnosis.

Where I worked we weren't allowed to ask for proof of disability.

There isn't a disabled register.
Most disabled people aren't entitled to a blue badge.
Many disabled people don't/ won't be able to claim disability benefits.

People rarely asked for a disabled ticket anyway, IME.

And the wheelchair space on a bus is just that. Everyone knows buggies have to vacate for a wheelchair.

No medical queries?

On what basis did you get it then?

And having applied for an access card for my disabled child, it's not that straightforward. Despite them needing 1:1 care when out as they might turn violent or escape where we are, meaning at least one adult has to be around to watch them, I was refused the companion symbol. This was with evidence.

Try using a blue badge or a radar key and not being in a wheelchair.
The AMOUNT of blue badge users that walk past and tut, take the number, I always flick it round and smile so they can see the photo is me.
I'm hoping for a co

Posted to early - colostomy at some point.
Won't stop people tutting at me but would make my day to flash it with a big middle finger.
I vary day to day, if I'm having a good day I won't use the parking etc, so it pisses me off even more when I get the crap when I do use one as I only use it when I'm severely flaring. Then I think, I am entitled to this and other blue badge people put me off!
I'm not old. I don't look ill. I hate it.

@splilt

As far as I recall I only sent them a copy of PIP Entitlement and mine has a wheelchair and plus 1 on it?

I've just been into my phone to look and very strangely can't find the email I sent them which is odd, but it was a completely straightforward experience

You’re disabled under the Equality Act 2010 if you have a physical or mental impairment that has a ‘substantial’ and ‘long-term’ negative effect on your ability to do normal daily activities.

This definition is about functional capacity and not diagnosis. You can be disabled without having received a diagnosis.

I do think it’s important that some kind of ‘proof’ is needed for most disability entitlements, and that these are given fairly.

I have a radar key that I use for DS, who has complex needs and is very vulnerable. I was a bit shocked that anyone could order one.

I have a carers card, and DS has a disability ‘card’ but again these are issued by charities with zero checks. And often I’ve had to pay to get one, which is just a money maker for those charities.

I don’t have a blue badge, I don’t think DS needs one.

DS does have a sunflower lanyard, but again anyone can just ask for one, which diminishes them. They are handy for airports, sometimes.