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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU Proof of disability is fine ?

260 replies

Itsamission25 · 11/04/2023 17:26

My previous post was about an incident regarding daughter ( 9 in wheelchair ) being refused the wheelchair space on a bus in favour of a toddler in a stroller and a sleeping baby in a stroller.
anyway, I have tried to gain some online support regarding the company and also put in a complaint with the bus company but this has caused a debate about invisible illnesses.
apparently companies should not be allowed to ask for evidence of disability ? I find this a bit odd. There is certain things that annoy me now about this for example how anyone can buy a disabled toilet radar key, how sunflower lanyards ( I think ) are readily available for anyone so lose there authenticity I find.
now my daughter has a wheelchair - yes and has a physical medical device that is visible, however we still need to show evidence for things like blue badge / parking. Carers tickets / ride access at theme parks etc.
surely this is correct, I have never had an issue with needing to. If you took away the rights of companies or organisations being able to do this surely everything would just be abused ?

OP posts:
x2boys · 11/04/2023 17:54

There are certain places that let carers in for free and some do.ask for proof according g to.various face book groups for child DLA I'm in ,wouldn't hesitate to show my sons DLA award if needed I guess it's individual.

Original poster
Itsamission25 · 11/04/2023 17:55

@PuttingDownRoots I am not 100 percent sure most places do concessions but they vary as to what
like some will be 50 percent off and others are free.

OP posts:
PussBilledDuckyPlait · 11/04/2023 17:56

The 'proof of disability' is something of a red herring if I remember your thread correctly - none of the pushchair owners said their children couldn't be taken out of the pushchair due to disability. If that had been the case, I imagine the OP might not have been so upset at what happened.

SquareRootOfAllEvil · 11/04/2023 17:57

I don’t have an issue providing proof of disability, but it’s a bit annoying that there isn’t a single accepted proof (although the Access card is gaining traction in more places I go to).

it annoys me more when things are for “registered disabled only” - WTF does that actually mean? As far as I know there’s no universal register?

Sure, in an ideal world we wouldn’t need to provide any proof, but at least it stops non-disabled people taking advantage of concessions we need.

Original poster
Itsamission25 · 11/04/2023 17:57

@x2boys yeh and if you don’t know yet which is very helpful there is now a thing called an access pass, which is fine but a company called nimbus which now most places like Disney land, merlin parks, theatres etc accept as proof so you have one we card, so much easier ! You do have send the relevant documents in to get an access card as evidence.

OP posts:
x2boys · 11/04/2023 17:58

Itsamission25 · 11/04/2023 17:46

@cigarettesNalcohol the issue with that is they argued that there is no case regarding the wheelchair not being priority because someone with a toddler in a stroller could mean that their toddler is autistic etc. so it’s not as simple as well a wheelchair trumps it.

But a wheelchair space is a wheelchair space I mean my child is severely autistic so.I get that some autistic toddlers need to.use a pushchair ,for their safety ,but a wheelchair space is just that .

Original poster
Itsamission25 · 11/04/2023 18:00

@PussBilledDuckyPlait you are correct none of their excuses was disability. This debate happened because someone said I can’t ask strollers to move because I have no idea if any of the children are disabled and the bus drivers shouldn’t be able to ask. Then someone else replied etc and then it turned in to like Chessington asked for evidence and needing evidence for blue badges / parking.

OP posts:
grandmaintraining · 11/04/2023 18:01

Thing is. The blue badge stays in my car. I don't have to keep it on me.

If you're saying people have to have some sort of disabled "pass" on them, then my fear would be that that would lead to disabled people being asked to show it when, for example, they are ambulant and have used a disabled toilet. And this could lead to upset and abuse of disabled people.

TheFairyCaravan · 11/04/2023 18:01

I don’t object to showing proof of my disability if someone/organisation needs to see it because they’re offering me an extra service eg carers ticket for DH or like TUI give me a taxi to the resort instead of the coach. However it’ll be a cold day in hell before I start showing proof to any old busy body on a bus. Thankfully my disability is visible, but honestly people need to wind their necks in. It’s hard enough when you’re disabled, or a carer, don’t make it harder for them.

Original poster
Itsamission25 · 11/04/2023 18:02

No one is suggesting you would have to show it to a busy body on a bus ! I literally didn’t say they anywhere.

OP posts:
Original poster
Itsamission25 · 11/04/2023 18:03

for the record I wouldn’t show my daughters to any busy body in a bus 🤣 literally not a suggestion.

OP posts:
SouthCountryGirl · 11/04/2023 18:04

And whose going to decide whether your evidence is valid? I've twice been told that a piece of paper from the eye hospital wasn't good enough.

Sirzy · 11/04/2023 18:04

grandmaintraining · 11/04/2023 18:01

Thing is. The blue badge stays in my car. I don't have to keep it on me.

If you're saying people have to have some sort of disabled "pass" on them, then my fear would be that that would lead to disabled people being asked to show it when, for example, they are ambulant and have used a disabled toilet. And this could lead to upset and abuse of disabled people.

People already get that abuse now from people who know better. We where told off today for using a disabled space because obviously a 13 year old can’t be disabled.

i have a photo of his blue badge saved on my phone now as the local children’s hospital need to see the photo to change the token for the free one (although that now seems to have changed to flash it at the man inside the barrier now which is easier)

PussBilledDuckyPlait · 11/04/2023 18:05

Itsamission25 · 11/04/2023 18:00

@PussBilledDuckyPlait you are correct none of their excuses was disability. This debate happened because someone said I can’t ask strollers to move because I have no idea if any of the children are disabled and the bus drivers shouldn’t be able to ask. Then someone else replied etc and then it turned in to like Chessington asked for evidence and needing evidence for blue badges / parking.

I understand that people might not want to go into details about the nature of a disability, and they absolutely should not be expected to describe it, but common sense and logic says that if you require accommodation for your disability, such as a pushchair being legally regarded as a wheelchair, you should be prepared to state 'I have a disability' (or 'my child has a disability').

PuttingDownRoots · 11/04/2023 18:05

Its been suggested before that bus companies provide "Treat as Wheelchair" passes for disabled children in SN buggies or standard buggies for babies/toddlers so that this debate doesn't happen.

splilt · 11/04/2023 18:06

Who are these people who taking away the need to prove disability? I don't really know what you are saying here.

x2boys · 11/04/2023 18:06

SouthCountryGirl · 11/04/2023 18:04

And whose going to decide whether your evidence is valid? I've twice been told that a piece of paper from the eye hospital wasn't good enough.

Well.I guess acceptable proof would be DLA/PIP award ,and proof of carers,allowance ?

Original poster
Itsamission25 · 11/04/2023 18:07

@PuttingDownRoots but apparently that’s wrong !!

OP posts:
Inkblue · 11/04/2023 18:08

Itsamission25 · 11/04/2023 17:44

No it wasn’t about the bus. I was just highlighting we got on to the convo about proof of disability and this extended to a debate about having to show evidence of disability for other things and people saying no organisation or businesses should be allowed to ask for proof.

the answer to the blue badge comment though is exactly you do show proof because you have to show prof when applying for a blue badge so that is your proof

Surely anyone who has a blue badge would have put it on their car so they wouldn't be able to show it as proof?

Original poster
Itsamission25 · 11/04/2023 18:08

@SouthCountryGirl even not depending on what your applying for

blue badge
access cards etc
they all have different requirements which does make it hard !

OP posts:
SouthCountryGirl · 11/04/2023 18:09

x2boys · 11/04/2023 18:06

Well.I guess acceptable proof would be DLA/PIP award ,and proof of carers,allowance ?

Show quote history

Not every disabled person receives benefits. And I'm not carrying around my PIP papers.

Somebodiesmother · 11/04/2023 18:09

I dint actually have any proof for my disability except for my wheelchair.

Original poster
Itsamission25 · 11/04/2023 18:10

@Inkblue no she was saying she doesn’t need proof to park a disabled spot because she has a blue badge I was staying to get a blue badge you need to evidence / proof so that is her proof !

OP posts:
FloatingBean · 11/04/2023 18:11

x2boys · 11/04/2023 17:58

But a wheelchair space is a wheelchair space I mean my child is severely autistic so.I get that some autistic toddlers need to.use a pushchair ,for their safety ,but a wheelchair space is just that .

Show quote history

A SN buggy or ordinary buggy being used as a wheelchair should be treated as a wheelchair. You can get signs for the buggy stating so, we have one for DS1’s SN buggy.

x2boys · 11/04/2023 18:12

PuttingDownRoots · 11/04/2023 18:05

Its been suggested before that bus companies provide "Treat as Wheelchair" passes for disabled children in SN buggies or standard buggies for babies/toddlers so that this debate doesn't happen.

Yes that would make perfect sense ,my child has a blue badge obviously we have to display it to park I n a blue badge space ,although there was a thread a while ago where some posters thought they should just get to.decide they can use a blue badge space if they felt they had a need for it(
Even though they were not a blue badge holder ,but that's a while different thread!🙄