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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not expect to pay excessive amount as we're family.

601 replies

Boop1e · 11/04/2023 14:15

In laws brought themselves a caravan on a haven site a year ago. Decided to spend some pension money on it.
the site fees have renewed and have gone up just like everything else in life.
They don't rent it out and we only use it as family.
Anyway father in law has just charged his own son £75 for 3 nights to use it. He owed me money for ordering him a new tablet and doing him a favour so took the money out of that which I couldn't afford to lose.

Before the season started he mentioned charging £25 a day but nothing else happened and no mention of it again before we went.

He's also charged brother in law £150 to use but they paid upfront.

Am i being unreasonable to feel this is a lot to charge your own children and £10 or so a day would be sufficient. I'm not convinced I spend £25 a day heating and lighting my 3 bed home. They get their passes included with the caravan for 10 people.

Husband won't challenge it because it won't make any difference.

OP posts:
Oochiewalla · 11/04/2023 15:36

Our caravan costs us around 8k in site fees and expenses each year so we do charge everyone a small nominal amount to help towards this.

allmyliesaretrue · 11/04/2023 15:36

ginislife · 11/04/2023 14:34

My friend has a caravan on a Haven site and I know she charges £600 a week because one owned by Haven is £1000 per week.

WTF pays a grand a week to stay in a bloody caravan?!

Original poster
Boop1e · 11/04/2023 15:36

WhateverYouSayEh · 11/04/2023 15:18

Where did op say it's a crap caravan? If it's so crappy then she doesn't have to stay in it does she?

OP, how many times has family used it for free in the year he has had it? My Fil has a caravan in a popular holiday location (and it's a nice one not a crappy one) and it costs him a lot of money and he used to let family use it too but some family took the absolute piss and expected to use it regularly. I'm not kidding when I say some of their adult kids and their families were using it more than fil and his wife and when the prices went up fil also gave everyone a heads up that they can't really afford the extra increases and said he had two choices, he charges them a small amount when they use it which didn't go down well, so he did his second choice and rented it out during peak times which had benefit of increasing income too and it pissed them all off because peak times is when they were using it so much.

Show quote history

It's not a bad caravan. We've used it twice last year and the once this year

OP posts:
Beautiful3 · 11/04/2023 15:37

We toyed with the idea of buying a caravan, but decided against it. We knew the extended family would ask to stay in it. Making it dirty, more wear and tear. I actually wouldn't want anyone else in it. I think it's nice he's allowing you all to stay there, and £25 per night is very cheap.

WalnutWhippy · 11/04/2023 15:39

You were told in advance that you had to pay. €25 a night is extremely cheap. You chose to pretend in your head that it didn't apply to you. How embarrassing that your FIL was forced to deduct the cost from the iPad as you tried to wriggle out of paying.

TheyAreMyBhunasPete · 11/04/2023 15:39

toomuchlaundry · 11/04/2023 15:28

@TheyAreMyBhunasPete even if costs have gone crazy, and are much higher than when they initially bought it. Also can't imagine using it and not offering a contribution

Well yeah my parents wouldn't, they would enjoy the fact they can give us a holiday especially when struggling. But everyone's different, and they are entitled to charge! 😁

jannier · 11/04/2023 15:40

Rhondaa · 11/04/2023 15:25

If they aren't short of money and don't rent it out to others to earn cash then yes it does seem tight to charge family. Different if they were skint and used it as a business.

There are restrictions on renting it out to others on most sites

ThreeRingCircus · 11/04/2023 15:41

BadNomad · 11/04/2023 15:34

Fair point. Think my biggest beef is being asked after the event when he'd not definitely confirmed he'd charge.

I'm guessing that was more awkward for him than it was for you. He'd already told you he was planning on charging £25 a day, but then when you didn't put your hand in your pockets after your stay, he had to chase you for it. Did you not even think to offer something towards staying there??

Exactly! How embarrassing that he had to chase you up for payment of what is really a nominal fee. I can't believe you just expected it for free or for £10 a day (which you also didn't offer to pay him.) It's just such entitled behaviour from yours and DH's side to not happily offer them some money towards your stay that FIL probably has you marked as CFs.

£25 a day is an absolute bargain. It's likely to be the amount per day that it costs them to have the caravan with all the gas/electric/site fees/maintenance so really all you've been asked to do is contribute that share for the nights you're using it which seems totally fair enough!

Original poster
Boop1e · 11/04/2023 15:41

Certainly not hoping he'd forget about it. My family wouldn't charge but my in laws are better off and will. They even expect me to pay them to take grandchildren out.
I didn't know bil had paid anything.

OP posts:
rumpsteak · 11/04/2023 15:41

Boop1e · 11/04/2023 15:21

I think £25 a night to charge your own family is excessive. I wasn't asked to pay upfront.

£25 is a very smallamount to charge family. I can't see what your arguement is.

Facem81 · 11/04/2023 15:41

The 3x previously you used… what was the charge?

jannier · 11/04/2023 15:42

allmyliesaretrue · 11/04/2023 15:36

WTF pays a grand a week to stay in a bloody caravan?!

Show quote history

It's Havens charge and lots go to Haven your out of touch

EyesOnThePies · 11/04/2023 15:42

So he mentioned, albeit in a jokey way, that he would be asking for contributions now that the fees and costs have gone up. After you had already had two holidays there at no cost?

In the end OP, would you rather they keep the caravan and offer use of it for a £25pn contribution, and have lovely trips on that basis, or decide it is not good value for them to keep it, sell it, and you have to book market rate rentals or stay at home?

Facem81 · 11/04/2023 15:42

Boop1e · 11/04/2023 15:41

Certainly not hoping he'd forget about it. My family wouldn't charge but my in laws are better off and will. They even expect me to pay them to take grandchildren out.
I didn't know bil had paid anything.

How come he needed your financial assistance to buy his iPad if he’s so well off?

and let me guess, this issue aside… you don’t get on?

JLM1981 · 11/04/2023 15:42

I use my Dad's caravan at a small independent site with swimming pool, soft play etc. Family of 5. He's never charged us. He even fills the fridge. I feel eternally grateful now. I guess each to their own. All families are different 😁

allmyliesaretrue · 11/04/2023 15:43

ZeroFuchsGiven · 11/04/2023 14:51

They will be using gas and electricity. that is not free.

Show quote history

I clearly stated “fixed overheads”. I was not referring to running costs incurred by anyone staying there.

ColdHandsHotHead · 11/04/2023 15:44

I live in a holiday area and the going rate per night in April in a caravan is about £80. Perhaps he should have made it clearer you'd be paying, but it sounds as though you were filtering out what he said anyway.

Facem81 · 11/04/2023 15:44

Husband won't challenge it because it won't make any difference.

More likely he thinks it’s a reasonable cost

TheKobayashiMaru · 11/04/2023 15:44

He told you there was a charge and then he charged you. Can't see what the issue is.

ThreeRingCircus · 11/04/2023 15:45

allmyliesaretrue · 11/04/2023 15:36

WTF pays a grand a week to stay in a bloody caravan?!

Show quote history

That's the price for a week in school holidays. It's a crazy amount but compared to a week in Spain in the summer holidays it's a lot cheaper. Sickening when you see it's a third of the price the week the children go back to school but the price is the price.

uncomfortablydumb53 · 11/04/2023 15:45

The comment you took as jokey and passing was actually asking you for the money in advance
Your BiL paid upfront as he expected to cover his stay
FiL had to chase you for payment
There are site fees and running costs yearly and I'm surprised you thought it would be free
£25 is incredibly cheap per day

toomuchlaundry · 11/04/2023 15:45

@Boop1e have you never offered a contribution before? If they are taking your DC somewhere that costs a reasonable amount, do you not offer a contribution?

userxx · 11/04/2023 15:46

Oochiewalla · 11/04/2023 15:36

Our caravan costs us around 8k in site fees and expenses each year so we do charge everyone a small nominal amount to help towards this.

And I'd happily pay that and leave a nice bottle of wine for you.

Some people take the piss wanting freebies.

Original poster
Boop1e · 11/04/2023 15:46

You've hit the nail on the head. Exactly how I feel.

OP posts:
PuddlesPityParty · 11/04/2023 15:47

But he did tell you there would be a charge - you’re just so cheeky you assumed it was a joke!