Babysitter on her phone all the time

[Notthissongagainffs]

This week for the holidays I agreed to have a babysitter for my Dd, almost 5 for a few hours everyday whilst I work part time (out of the house) She’s a neighbour and I know her mum, they’re a nice enough family, she’s around 20…I’ve only ever had older sitters when Dd was a baby
Dd really loves her, but is so hyper when I get home and often says they don’t play with toys etc, but the babysitter sits on the chair on her phone.
Would this bother you if you’re Dc was happy?
I’m wondering if I should leave out some bits next time…paper & pens, plasticine, jigsaws etc 🤷🏻‍♀️I mean, it’s all there so she can see..or should I just leave them to it?

I don't pay people to sit around looking at their phones.

Nor do I get paid at work to so such a thing.

Assuming she is not babysitting for free, you tell her that your daughter has mentioned that she is on her phone a lot and ask her to put her phone away while she is working.

It's not ok but I suspect your babysitter doesn't know that. I would be asking for her to do certain things like activities, parks etc

This isn't acceptable to me. I would say to her please can you play with her and here are some activities I have in mind etc. I would also be very direct and say please leave your phone in your bag.

Is this a paid babysitter?

If you want her to do specific activities with you daughter you probably need to say so - she may well be happy to if asked. If she hasn't had much experience of little ones she may imagine your daughter would just entertain herself, and get the things out herself if she wanted to play.

Just have a non-critical chat about it.

It's not ok but does the 20yo know that babysitting means playing with the child rather than being there just in case they hurt themselves or need someone to make some lunch?

@Fundays12 Yes, that’s why I was thinking to leave some activities out and maybe ask them to break up the hours by taking the dog out for a big walk etc (can walk into woods/fields from our house)

She did keep the house v tired etc and Dd didn’t want her to leave, she was so hyper though 😫

You can leave the activities out but you need to use your words too.

She’s being paid

She's doing what she's paid to do, she's not a teacher or a parent.

How much are you paying her?

Paid how much?

She's not a babysitter she's a nanny!

Are you also paying correct tax/NI?

@SunshineGeorgie She’s a babysitter, it’s for one week a few hours

This is tricky because she's obviously not the likes of an ofsted registered childminder so she is there to keep an eye on your DD and keep her safe. I dont think things like walking the dog are covered by this. But she should at least be playing with and entertaining your child for a chunk of the time she is there.

If it was registered childcare I would be annoyed. As it sounds a casual arrangement then no, she’s not a registered professional

Baby sitting during the day is not the same as an evening session which is more common. I think you will have to be precise in what you would like the baby sitter to do - walks, baking, painting etc. Tell the girl what you want her to do - don't just leave stuff out. Be explicit - please can you make cookies with DD and then take her out for a walk / to the park for an hour. Don't make an activity an option

Sounds like you haven't made it clear what you want from her.

To me, babysitting is being in the house and making sure the children are kept safe, maybe feeding them and putting them to bed if you know them, or just being there when they are already in bed. If you want a nanny who interacts with your child, then you need to tell her that's what you want.

You need to decide whether she's a casual babysitter or a Nanny for your child.

I expect a babysitter to simply ensure my child is safe/fed/happy whilst I'm not around. I wouldn't expect specific activities to happen. If they watch TV for a few hours, fair enough.

Are you paying her above minimum wage?

Sounds too casual for much more than her being in the house then!!

She's not a childcare professional

As this is an informal arrangement between neighbours... I wouldn't push it/make it weird.

Her role is to keep your DD safe/not let her burn the house down. And that's about where the remit ends.

By all means, leave a few activities out, but I don't think you can go around asking her to walk your dog. That's crossing over into nanny/housekeeper territory, and beyond that of a casual neighbour babysitting.

I think you need to use your words here OP and tell her nicely what you would like her to do whilst she is babysitting.

It’s not at all unreasonable to expect her to do activities with your child. But passively leaving out some craft stuff isn’t going to deal with it.

She probably thinks it's the same as evening babysitting i.e. keeping them and the house safe. Say something like 'I've left out a few things for you to do with DD... plasticine, paints and a boules set if it stays sunny'. If she's not got kids or little siblings of her own she might not realise what needs doing.

If it's just a friend/neighbour helping out presumably for a bit of cash in hand rather than a formal service then I wouldn't push it too hard, but you do need to actually talk to this person rather than just assuming she is a mind reader and knows exactly what you expect.

Maybe next time just casually say to both the sitter and the kid that you have left some things out to do and suggest they go out to the park or something. If you make a big deal out of it chances are you'll just make things weird and she might not come back.

‘Baby sitters’ stay in the house for purposes of safety / emergency etc when your child is asleep.

During the day it is surely ‘childcare’, and she should be being paid enough per hour to take your Dd and dog for a walk / to the park, and do some structured play or activity, and maybe read to her.

Don’t just put stuff out. Say today could you do these things, please.

Yes, this

Most evening babysitters just watch TVost of the evening after DC's are in bed. She probably thought it was the same deal.

I wouldn't use anyone like that again to cover work in school holidays. Use a holiday club or childminder maybe?