Babysitter on her phone all the time

[Notthissongagainffs]

This week for the holidays I agreed to have a babysitter for my Dd, almost 5 for a few hours everyday whilst I work part time (out of the house) She’s a neighbour and I know her mum, they’re a nice enough family, she’s around 20…I’ve only ever had older sitters when Dd was a baby
Dd really loves her, but is so hyper when I get home and often says they don’t play with toys etc, but the babysitter sits on the chair on her phone.
Would this bother you if you’re Dc was happy?
I’m wondering if I should leave out some bits next time…paper & pens, plasticine, jigsaws etc 🤷🏻‍♀️I mean, it’s all there so she can see..or should I just leave them to it?

Not if she's being paid, I'd tell her and teach her a life lesson for the future. That's terrible.

Does this girl even like dogs? When I was 20 the thought of being in charge of a dog AND a 5 year old child would have been so stressful for me. Lots of things could go wrong out on a dog walk. How many hours is she looking after your DD? Your house won't be neat & tidy if she walks your dog & they all tramp through fields and woods after all this rain we've had 😆

Sorry OP - didn't spot your post about how the girl has her own dog/has offered to walk your dog etc or that you lived abroad (so prob not wet & muddy everywhere). Has this girl done tons of babysitting for you & others?

£8.78 an hour? Nah. Your child is happy and safe and looked after. If you want a proper nanny who walks dogs, does art, jigsaws etc hire one and pay accordingly.

Surely when someone starts a new job (which this is, albeit very temporary) they are toldnwhat to do and not to do. Sounds like OP has just said there you are get on with it. She needs some guidance.

I know the OP isn’t based in the U.K. but if they were £8.78 is over the national minimum wage for 18-20 year olds which is £7.49 and I don’t think any other employer paying that wage would be like “oh it’s only X, you sit on your phone”
If the OP is happy with the set up, that’s fine but it seems like she could be happier so suggesting a few ideas to someone who is being paid fairly, isn’t outrageous! She may welcome the direction.
No one is suggesting the babysitter needs to write and implement a curriculum but engaging the child in things she’s interested in and get her out in the fresh air, isn’t too much to ask.

Some of the replies in this thread about how the OP should pay a professional nanny if she wants any kind of interaction at all are just 😯.

No wonder so many people are filled with entitlement these days and won't get out of bed for less than £15/hour and want to get paid for sitting on their backside all day. This thread is full of entitled people.

You don't need a degree in childcare to engage with a child, take them to the park, sit and play a card game. Just someone who is willing.

@roses2 but generally a babysitter supervises once the kids are in bed or close to bedtime.

My guess is the conversation went something like "would you mind watching DD for a few hours each day for me?" which the babysitter took to mean make sure she's not in any danger. She does play with the kid too. OP has said that.

In Ireland minimum wage is €10.50 to €11.30 per hour for a 20 year old.

other employer paying that wage would be like “oh it’s only X, you sit on your phone

It is a week over the holidays that this young person has been asked to watch a child. It is not an ongoing job. The child loves the babysitter so she is obviously being taken care of quite well.

This would really irritate me. I think you need to talk to her

I don't know if it's regional or what but I definitely don't think a babysitter is just there to "watch" the kids. In my experience, the difference between a babysitter and a nanny is primarily about it being a temporary ad hoc thing and therefore more of a focus on fun than say reading/writing/educational things.

E.g this agency that my friend uses - https://www.wimbledonbabysitting.co.uk/how-it-works - the babysitters do work days, one of them took my friend's kids to the science museum!

Clear communication is necessary in any child minding arrangements. Typically babysitting involves free time on the couch with phone while the child sleeps. Generally you are only providing a responsible person on standby.

You appear to want someone to engage/nanny your child - this is a different job and would demand a lot higher pay grade and experience. I appreciate the dilemma you are in - I am just edging out of necessary childcare myself.

If your child is happy and this works for your family I would go with it. Honestly entertaining a lively/hyper 5 year old is a bit of a hard ask to a non experienced 20 year old. I would leave out activities for your daughter but at 5 mine pretty much played independently and played with local friends out the back garden etc.

Erm as it's a casual babysitter no. I would expect a babysitter to ensure the DC is safe. Normally a babysitter just sits and watches TV while the DC are in bed . A registered childcare provider I wouldn't be happy, it sounds like you want a nanny more than an adhoc simple supervision. I would pay for holidayclub if you want more engagement for your child. Ours cost £25 for a day.

Babysitters normally watch tv whilst children sleep. Sounds like u want a childminder but are paying an unqualified babysitter.

If she's anything like my 5 year old DN, there's no way the sitter is on her phone 'all the time'. By the time I've played schools, hairdressers and 'going on holiday' I'm shattered and need 5 mins phone time, which she will easily perceive as 'being on the phone all the time'. The sitter needs a break, particularly is she IS a sitter, not a childminder or nanny. Your child is safe, your house is tidy, and all for a bargain price for a week - I'd leave this one well alone.

Is someone "entitled" for demanding a rate of pay in line with the employment market? People who don't get out of bed for less than £15 an hour, do so because they can find employment for at least £15 an hour. It's not entitlement, it's the market. Noone needs to work for any less than they can get away with providing their labour for. That's how capitalism works.

Dd told me they were tickling and jumping about on her bed and our bed, which I don’t love,

shame. I would have loved to hear she’d done this with my dd

So you were at work yesterday morning OP

got home. Babysitter left

and YOU got on your phone, started a mumsnet thread and updated regularly 😂

I think I'd leave it
You would be asking too much of her to dog walk/take her out/do crafts, bake etc
Everyone appears happy, your daughter probably just wants more attention as she's someone new to play with

There's a whole spectrum of babysitting between "Being a nanny who is engaging the child 24/7" and "being an adult in the vicinity who is ensuring the child stays alive".

I babysit for my nieces and nephews regularly, I don't totally ignore them as long as they aren't setting fire to the cat or murdering each other but I also don't act like a children's entertainer from the second I arrive till the second I leave.

If the children are playing by themselves or watching Moana for the 17th time that week then of course I will sit on my phone as they don't need my active attention, but I will also play games with them, do some baking or a craft, read a book, take them for a walk etc if they ask me to.

Also, as their parents are my siblings I rarely check with them about what I was allowed to do or not but if it was a paid role then I would expect the parents to either leave instructions for what we could/n't do - "You can get the paints out but no baking/cooking and they can only watch TV for a maximum of 30 mins at a time" - or let me know what I could use eg "There's plenty of craft stuff in that cupboard, help yourself to anything but if they use anything up then just let me know so I can buy more, and don't let the little one have glitter", "I've said they could make cookies this week and I know it's going to rain later so if you want to do it with them this afternoon then you're welcome to do so ... the box of cake mix is in that cupboard, the baking utensils are over there. They can use XYZ ingredients but don't use ABC ingredients as I need them for something else". If I hadn't been given specific instructions of what consumables I could use then I wouldn't use any and just stick to games/TV.