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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Was she rude or was I?

75 replies

AccidentalEyeContact · 11/04/2023 05:17

Or maybe both?

Yesterday I was walking through a city centre when I saw what looked like a woman in a brightly coloured bandana coming the other way to my right. I did a slight double take and made accidental eye contact and she gave me a half annoyed, half quizzical sort of glare.

So, who was rude - or ruder?

YABU - you should have taken more care not to make eye contact with a stranger;
YANBU - she was dressed in an eye-catching way and shouldn't have been irritated about a slight double take.

OP posts:
PalmtreesAndChampagne · 11/04/2023 05:20

Something might have flew in her eyes, her feet might've been hurting her or maybe you pulled a face at her without realising. LET IT GO!

AlmostOver22 · 11/04/2023 05:22

I think neither of you. It sounds so quick that both of you were probably acting on instinct - you instinctively looked at her because of the colours and she instinctively reacted suspiciously. I her annoyance and confusion probably subsided so quickly she wasn’t even aware of it

PalmtreesAndChampagne · 11/04/2023 05:22

You are ruder because you instigated it. She probably saw the judgment all over your face. I've worn things on the school run that are not to everyone's taste and there was a mum who would stare at me from yards away and I could see the 'WTF' on her face. So I'd give her a fuck off look.

PsychoHotSauce · 11/04/2023 05:23

This is such a non-issue Confused she was probably deep in thought, not glaring at you. Unless you live in London, then you broke the rule of don't make eye contact with strangers ever and were the rude one Wink

Original poster
AccidentalEyeContact · 11/04/2023 05:28

PalmtreesAndChampagne · 11/04/2023 05:22

You are ruder because you instigated it. She probably saw the judgment all over your face. I've worn things on the school run that are not to everyone's taste and there was a mum who would stare at me from yards away and I could see the 'WTF' on her face. So I'd give her a fuck off look.

I wasn't being judgemental, but maybe she thought I was. I quite liked it actually.

OP posts:
FrigginFrig · 11/04/2023 05:31

I don't think anyone was rude

LordEmsworth · 11/04/2023 05:33

Neither of you was rude. Looking at someone isn't rude. Looking a bit piased off isn't rude, and also doesn't mean you are actually pissed off.

GoodChat · 11/04/2023 05:33

Nobody was rude. Literally nothing happened.

shivawn · 11/04/2023 05:35

You're massively overthinking a non-issue.

Original poster
AccidentalEyeContact · 11/04/2023 05:40

shivawn · 11/04/2023 05:35

You're massively overthinking a non-issue.

I know it's not really an issue but I'm curious.

OP posts:
ShowUs · 11/04/2023 05:58

Neither of you.

You looked at her.

She looked at you.

Its a complete non issue.

Original poster
AccidentalEyeContact · 11/04/2023 06:07

It felt like a pissed off sort of glare. I was more puzzled than upset.

OP posts:
potatowhale · 11/04/2023 06:09

AccidentalEyeContact · 11/04/2023 06:07

It felt like a pissed off sort of glare. I was more puzzled than upset.

Maybe she thought you were giving her a pissed off sort of glare

Original poster
AccidentalEyeContact · 11/04/2023 06:11

potatowhale · 11/04/2023 06:09

Maybe she thought you were giving her a pissed off sort of glare

Show quote history

I suppose so, but don't think I looked annoyed.

OP posts:
JudgeRudy · 11/04/2023 06:15

What's a slight double take? We're you astonished to see an orange bandana? I don't get this at all

BellaJuno · 11/04/2023 06:15

If she saw you do a ‘slight double take’ when looking at her, she probably assumed you were making a judgement about her. So you were the rude one.

Goodread1 · 11/04/2023 06:15

Let it go too

She was just acting 🙄 on natural instinct...

Phoebo · 11/04/2023 06:16

AlmostOver22 · 11/04/2023 05:22

I think neither of you. It sounds so quick that both of you were probably acting on instinct - you instinctively looked at her because of the colours and she instinctively reacted suspiciously. I her annoyance and confusion probably subsided so quickly she wasn’t even aware of it

This

WaltzingWaters · 11/04/2023 06:19

You both acted on a split second instinct and stopped at that. The end.

Original poster
AccidentalEyeContact · 11/04/2023 06:19

JudgeRudy · 11/04/2023 06:15

What's a slight double take? We're you astonished to see an orange bandana? I don't get this at all

Not exactly but it's more likely to get a second glance than a navy blue beanie for example.

OP posts:
Inthebathagain · 11/04/2023 06:20

You made eye contact with a stranger and you're asking who was ruder?

I've read everything now on MN. 🤦

potatowhale · 11/04/2023 06:20

Maybe she gets a lot of people doing double takes and it pisses her off. I had an injury to my face and the amount of people staring at me was ridiculous and I did get a bit annoyed with it.

sjxoxo · 11/04/2023 06:21

This ‘who was Ruder for looking’ is the most British thread I’ve ever seen 😂😂😂

OfTheNight · 11/04/2023 06:24

Well you’ll never know what she was thinking, unless said woman is on this thread and chooses to tell you. It seems a bit pointless speculating 🤷🏻‍♀️.

AwaaFaeHom · 11/04/2023 06:25

I saw what looked like a woman in a brightly coloured bandana coming the other way to my right

What I really want to know is .. if it looked like a woman in a brightly colored banana, what was it really?

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