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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Unisex public toilets

130 replies

Stickyfloors · 10/04/2023 20:31

I don’t really understand why these are becoming popular.

I don’t have any issues with members of the LGBTQ community using whichever toilet they feel comfortable in but I generally don’t want to use a toilet that a bunch of men have pissed all over the loo seat, toilet, floor etc.

I went out for the day at the weekend and have walked out of multiple toilets that were so foul I wouldn’t use them. Some has loo seats showered with urine, others had such soggy floors that I thought the bottoms of my trousers would be one soaked in urine if I used them. I also pushed open the (unlocked) cubicle in one toilet to find a man sat on the loo… revolting and, I’d imagine, quite frightening if I’d been a young girl trying to use the toilet.

My children love eating in Five Guys bad ask to go each school holiday as a treat. I’ve told them I’m never going again because of the unisex toilets.

AIBU?

OP posts:
Londongal123 · 11/04/2023 07:51

Women can be just as nasty as men. I was with my 10 year old niece, who has short hair, and I took her to the toilet. A woman in there started telling her and me that she’s too old to be in here and she needed to go to the men’s toilet. We told her she’s a girl and she didn’t believe us. She then went and got the manager and it was made into this big old deal. She was in tears. She said it happens all the time. My SIL will go out of her way to find a unisex toilet for her. She’s a child and women have always made her feel bad.

PussBilledDuckyPlait · 11/04/2023 07:58

I also dislike the new trend in buildings to label the rooms as 'cubicles' and 'cubicles and urinals'.

DH was ahead of a woman in the queue to use one of two unisex cubicles and she started getting cross and telling him to use the separate urinal area. He had to explain he needed to shit!

Blossomtoes · 11/04/2023 08:10

Ndd135632 · 11/04/2023 00:11

Maybe you are too young to be scared. That would have also freaked my out and I am damned if I am going to let my daughter lose her spidery senses around men.

Show quote history

I don’t understand either and I’m too old to be scared. Eye contact in a mirror? Really?

maddy68 · 11/04/2023 08:12

Doesn't bother me as it reduces the queues but piss on the floor is the worst

Phoebo · 11/04/2023 08:14

PussBilledDuckyPlait · 11/04/2023 07:58

I also dislike the new trend in buildings to label the rooms as 'cubicles' and 'cubicles and urinals'.

DH was ahead of a woman in the queue to use one of two unisex cubicles and she started getting cross and telling him to use the separate urinal area. He had to explain he needed to shit!

🤣

itsgettingweird · 11/04/2023 08:16

I've been using unisex toilets in public places since I was a teenager and probably younger but don't remember.

Nearly all cafes I use have 1 or 2 public loos.

Most shops when they use to have loos has just 1.

Many doctors surgeries just have 2 cubicles off the waiting room.

Lots of smaller train stations and bus stations just have 1 toilet and it's unisex.

Leisure centres have unisex toilets. The ne I currently go twice a day to whilst Ds swims has unisex in main cafe area and then separate sex in other areas.

The issue isn't unisex toilets it's the disgusting people using them.

Mamaneedsadrink · 11/04/2023 08:16

Londongal123 · 11/04/2023 07:51

Women can be just as nasty as men. I was with my 10 year old niece, who has short hair, and I took her to the toilet. A woman in there started telling her and me that she’s too old to be in here and she needed to go to the men’s toilet. We told her she’s a girl and she didn’t believe us. She then went and got the manager and it was made into this big old deal. She was in tears. She said it happens all the time. My SIL will go out of her way to find a unisex toilet for her. She’s a child and women have always made her feel bad.

Oh this is horrible. What did this woman think a 10 year old accompanied by their adult guardian was going to do anyway. Your poor niece

itsgettingweird · 11/04/2023 08:17

And I have had to hover pee I'm single sex toilets as much as unisex.

Woman are as discussing as men about dripping everywhere.

ShippingNews · 11/04/2023 08:19

I have no problem with them.

The worst toilets I've ever been in, have been women-only toilets. I've been faced with faeces smeared all over the walls, urine puddles on the floor , the mind boggles.

The best I've been in have been the unisex ones at our local museum. Always super clean and smelling nice.

I don't think you can generalise about toilets !

Phoebo · 11/04/2023 08:19

itsgettingweird · 11/04/2023 08:17

And I have had to hover pee I'm single sex toilets as much as unisex.

Woman are as discussing as men about dripping everywhere.

I always hover and rarely drip. If I did I would clean it up. Men seem to pee everywhere (although it's mostly on the floor which I really don't understand. Is it because a urinal is higher??

TiredArse · 11/04/2023 08:21

aibuaibuaibu · 11/04/2023 00:03

No regard for the man you walked in on?

He clearly left the door unlocked on purpose. You do realise that there are men who get a massive kick out of women watching them use the loo?

Theunamedcat · 11/04/2023 08:21

I dislike them because men try to queue jump in them im there casually leaning against the wall in a queue and this bloke just steps infront i said there is a queue "I thought you were waiting for someone" and doesn't move excuse me no im waiting for the toilet 😒 well I won't be long.....me either? Wtf?

Clymene · 11/04/2023 08:21

You don't understand why a woman might be scared of being trapped in a small area with a man @aibuaibuaibu?

I've probably been assaulted more times than you but I'm sorry that you lack the imagination to understand that.

Startwithamimosa · 11/04/2023 08:21

Babdoc · 10/04/2023 22:50

Unisex toilets
a) have more sexual assaults than single sex toilets and
b) are at risk of men planting micro cameras that live stream to the internet. Toilet porn is a thriving category, particularly popular among Korean men.
It is hard to spot the cameras, which can even be concealed inside the toilet rim. They only cost about £20 online.
So if you fancy being watched urinating or changing your tampon, by online porn fetishists, go ahead and use unisex loos.
But I avoid them completely.

Surely some creep can plant a camera in a female toilet as well?

BadgerFacedCoo · 11/04/2023 08:22

"I don’t have any issues with members of the LGBTQ community using whichever toilet they feel comfortable in but I generally don’t want to use a toilet that a bunch of men have pissed all over the loo seat, toilet, floor etc."

I've some shocking news for you.

19lottie82 · 11/04/2023 08:24

I don’t like them. I always find the loo seat up and the toilet in flushed, brimming with orange foamy piss. Revolting.

BarbedButterfly · 11/04/2023 08:25

I have no issues with them. Honestly the worst toilets I've ever seen were women only. For me it is helpful as my partner can come in with me (not in the cubicle obv) as I have mobility issues. Lately all the disabled toilets have been out of order.

Ofcourseshecan · 11/04/2023 08:28

SunnieShine · 10/04/2023 23:02

I certainly do. Hate mixed-sex toilets.

Show quote history

Me too. Even my DH agrees. I think most men, if they think about it, prefer their own space and decent men accept that women need their own spaces too.

Ofcourseshecan · 11/04/2023 08:29

Clymene · 11/04/2023 08:21

You don't understand why a woman might be scared of being trapped in a small area with a man @aibuaibuaibu?

I've probably been assaulted more times than you but I'm sorry that you lack the imagination to understand that.

It’s not hard to understand. But some people lack empathy.

Phoebo · 11/04/2023 08:30

19lottie82 · 11/04/2023 08:24

I don’t like them. I always find the loo seat up and the toilet in flushed, brimming with orange foamy piss. Revolting.

You've just reminded me one of the reasons I hate them so much, for some reason the men never seem to flush them!!

Beneficialchampion2 · 11/04/2023 08:30

I'm not sure what being unisex has to do with the cleanliness of the toilet. The question you should be asking is:

AIBU to be disgusted with the infrequency at which public toilets are cleaned.

Men and women are both as equally disgusting at times.

Knullrufs · 11/04/2023 08:32

I used to clean toilets. Trust me, women can be as disgusting as men. And men can be as fastidious as women.

For me I think the issue with public loos is more that staffing cuts etc have led to there never being enough staff to properly monitor and clean. The loos that were ok before the pandemic are worse now, regardless of who uses them.

HockeyJock · 11/04/2023 08:37

Whatdidisay · 10/04/2023 21:25

I hate them from a safety point of view, my 11 yo daughter is gaining a bit of independence now and I have no issues when out if she pops in to the women's on her own, yet there is no way id allow her to use unisex loos without me accompanying her!

Same here. 2 DDs who I'm happy to go together to the ladies but absolutely not if there are mixed sex facilities.

I personally have a strong reaction to being alone in a confined space with unknown males. I absolutely do not want to enter a public toilet and be with men at the sinks/mirrors or while changing sanitary protection etc. I feel the same reaction if I enter a lift and a man follows for example.

Ndd135632 · 11/04/2023 08:37

MillicentTrilbyHiggins · 11/04/2023 02:38

Women saying trans can't use the female toilets probably ruined it for everyone

Surely it was the transwomen insisting on using the women's that ruined it?

Ba ha ha. Yep always those pesky women that ruin it for everyone. Bloody women 🙄

IsadoraQuagmire · 11/04/2023 08:42

Startwithamimosa · 11/04/2023 08:21

Surely some creep can plant a camera in a female toilet as well?

Show quote history

Yes. But if any man can SAY he's a woman, he can walk unchallenged into a women's loo.
In a civilized society, security would be called and he would be swiftly ejected.