Why does MN not crack down harder on personal attacks?

[Jourdain11]

It seems like perfectly anodyne threads, threads addressing important topical concerns get pulled left, right and centre, while vicious personal attacks and unwarranted pile-ons are left to stand.

This will probably get pulled so I don't care about referencing another thread. In a recently-deleted thread a poster was piled onto quite viciously but it then turned into a thread addressing completely different topics/concerns. I made one comment saying that the OP's tone was variable and that some of the comments she'd made were also mean. OP then called me a cunt and a troll and told me to fuck off repeatedly, and said I must need to get kicks from making strangers cry because I had such a "sad little life" on the basis of that one comment. I hadn't checked on MN till later this morning (my one comment was last night) and I was surprised not only to see that comment, but that it had been allowed to stand. I don't really care if a stranger behind a keyboard calls me a cunt (although I'd prefer they didn't) but how does it serve this forum well to allow posts like that to stand? Basically women using unpleasant sexist insults to attack other women? How does this make the forum better or more useful to its users?

I'm sure loads of people will disagree and think I'm being UR but I think that if MNHQ took a harder line on personal attacks rather than spending all hours searching for and deleting anything that might be categorised as a TERF thread, the forum might become a nicer, more useful and less vicious place for all.

MN absolutely does delete inappropriate comments they get a huge volume of reports and there just isn't enough people to delete them immediately. If anything, I think MN deletes too much but hey we're all just guests on here and don't have to be here if we don't like it.

There are also prolific trolls on here who are at home all day - they take great pleasure in goading people until they snap - then they report them. Never understood why they are allowed either. All best ignored.

Also it's bank holiday!! They are bound to be short of staff or volunteers. It's not life or death, someone is horrid to you online step away.

This.

I know the thread you mean and I saw your original reply to the OP, you were very unkind and I got the impression you simply wanted to join the ongoing bullying on that thread.

There were many unkind posters and the OP understandably had enough of the horrible comments, and she replied to yours in particular. She had repeatedly said she was taking on board comments by that point, but it did seem you wanted to stick the boot in just a bit further.

It's hypocritical of you to want to censor others posts but yet you're happy to be so unkind to others here.

I don't post anymore for this exact reason OP.

I agree.

How am I being "so unkind to others here"? I don't think I have made any unkind comments in this thread.

As for my reply (my sole comment) on That Thread, I didn't stick the boot in or comment on the situation. I wrote, paraphrasing, that the OP's tone was very variable, and that being sarky and mean back doesn't do any favours to garner support. Not particularly kind or supportive and for sure the OP could've taken issue with the comment quite reasonably, but why is it deemed okay to be vicious and uncivilised? I don't think it merited me being called out as "that fucking Jourdain troll" and being repeatedly called a cunt. Anyway - my last word on the subject now, or it really will be a TAAT.

It's not life or death, but it means you can't have a conversation... which is what the board is intended for.

If posters with x number of deletions got banned, I bet you'd find that people started self-moderating a bit better.

Maybe if MN puts a message that message deleted and user banned it would be more of deterrent but just a deletion message doesn't mean they were banned.

I'm really confused by this thread! I've reported loads of stuff and nothing happens. Why aren't my reports acted on??!

Yep, I agree 100%. Civilised debates don't need swearing.

Agree w this

Totally agree with this; imo too many vitriolic responses to often pedestrian posts.

I don't agree with no swearing.

I don't really care about swearing, just think swearing at people is not nice.

Yeah, I agree in fact.

Turquoisesilver · Today 17:53
The worst ones are when a load of MNetters do a pile on and MN remove the whole thread. Why can’t they deal with the bullies instead?

Often these threads aren’t removed.
I’m surprised that mn allows posters to get together and criticise and discuss another poster - along the lines of ‘oh look, airyfairy is back on the thread, oh god we’rve been subjected to enough of her mindless bollocks’ then ‘I think airyfairy just struggles in general, with grammar, critical thinking, economics. Just a repeater of soundbites’ followed by ‘airyfairy has no clue what shes spewing. Her posts read like brainfart with no internal filter.’

Really unpleasant but mumsnet considers it ‘free speech’.

Yeah, there are some posters who others seek to follow around in order to comment on their inadequacies at every turn! It's definitely not nice, even if the poster in question does hold some questionable views 🤔

I think the reason why some pile-on threads are not removed is because people like them and they get picked up on other sites so it drives traffic to the sites. Sadly in the world we live in and socila media the way it is, people in general enjoy mean / dramatic / bad tempered threads more than they enjoy reasoned debate or conversation.

I would also say, that one women's 'personal attack' is another woman's free speech. For example, is calling someone a 'doormat' a personal attack or a forthright attempt to let them know that they are putting up with unacceptable behaviour from DH?

My view is that you need a thick skin to venture on AIBU and some people aren'y good at expressing themselves sensibly. And make use of the Report button if you feel you need to.

@Jourdain11 that thread was bizarre! And agree that swearing generally fine, but the op on that thread, veered from 'poor me, am the victim here' to those who agreed with her
, to calling other posters 'cunts, fucking scum' and several other tirades of abuse! I did report that post as it was so aggressive, vitriolic and generally uncomfortable to read!

I got a comment deleted the other day because someone was being a complete arse to other posters and wrote "who's the idiot now?" And I simply responded "you"

Apparently that's not a civil response, but their post stood.

If a post isn’t reported then MN won’t delete it. They don’t read every single post.

Also I dislike the inference that we should all agree with each other all the time because we are women.

Yeah, it was a weird thread. I was a bit taken aback to be singled out as a cunt when other posters had been much more objectionable to OP and she'd been very subservient! The tirade at me seemed like she'd totally lost it and I'm genuinely sorry if my comment tipped the balance. But at the same time, if you're not prepared to hear that you're being unreasonable, don't post on AIBU!