Why does MN not crack down harder on personal attacks?

[Jourdain11]

It seems like perfectly anodyne threads, threads addressing important topical concerns get pulled left, right and centre, while vicious personal attacks and unwarranted pile-ons are left to stand.

This will probably get pulled so I don't care about referencing another thread. In a recently-deleted thread a poster was piled onto quite viciously but it then turned into a thread addressing completely different topics/concerns. I made one comment saying that the OP's tone was variable and that some of the comments she'd made were also mean. OP then called me a cunt and a troll and told me to fuck off repeatedly, and said I must need to get kicks from making strangers cry because I had such a "sad little life" on the basis of that one comment. I hadn't checked on MN till later this morning (my one comment was last night) and I was surprised not only to see that comment, but that it had been allowed to stand. I don't really care if a stranger behind a keyboard calls me a cunt (although I'd prefer they didn't) but how does it serve this forum well to allow posts like that to stand? Basically women using unpleasant sexist insults to attack other women? How does this make the forum better or more useful to its users?

I'm sure loads of people will disagree and think I'm being UR but I think that if MNHQ took a harder line on personal attacks rather than spending all hours searching for and deleting anything that might be categorised as a TERF thread, the forum might become a nicer, more useful and less vicious place for all.

I'm not saying that at all, I'm saying we should be able to disagree civilly... without calling each other cunts.

I think Ricky gervais hit the nail on the head in terms of what's considered offensive nowadays, which I do think has taken precedent over basic good manners and politeness with one another. Ironically the ‘be kind’ mantra has meant people are general less kind!

He spoke about how the idea of being offended and therefore having the right to cancel it, is arrogance in action. Being offended doesn't mean something is integrally wrong, it often represents a difference in opinion. We have now entered the phase where we are often seeing this in action in real life and online. Some views are regarded as inherently offensive just by stating them. People who take offense now have the power to shut it down. All the while being free to call you a bigot, an idiot, even a cunt.

I am currently training in an environment where this is rife, not calling each other cunts, but certainly the shutting down of what otherwise should be healthy and critical debate.

Also I dislike the inference that we should all agree with each other all the time because we are women.
Nobody is saying that. They're saying calling another poster a cunt is not acceptable.

I agree. Personal attacks and the vitriol on here is shocking

I like that we’re “allowed” to swear on Mumsnet, treats us as adults. Twitter is ridiculously prissy about swearing, when they could easily give users the option to see or block some/all swears in Preferences.

Yeah, I reckon it's perfectly possible to disagree with someone without saying "fuck you, fuck off, you fucking cunt".

I don't bother reporting any more, due to the "we prefer posters to challenge on the thread". I challenged some vile comments on a thread on Sunday from someone who AS shows only posts racist bile about MM. Guess which one of us was deleted? Hey ho.

I've had this response before with people posting horrific ableism

I am on one in Style and Beauty at the (under a different username). One poster keeps on derailing it with personal attacks on one particular poster, despite multiple deletions of her comments plus a specific note from MN HQ about not derailing. She's convinced it is this other poster reporting get, when it's in fact multiple people (I know because the MN responses to my reports are those "sorry for the mass email /thanks for all the reports). She just won't let it go and it's totally ruined the thread.

Like I said before, I have no issue with swearing (although I know some people don't like it). I just think it's a bit out of order to swear at people.

eg

"I don't like the fucking government" - fine
"Fuck you, Tory bitch" - not fine

These are the people who should just be banned.

Agreed. However if I report a post like that I add that it's not just a personal attack but unnecessary abuse. I've never known it not be deleted.

I've been called some hideous things on here, from misogynistic to grief tourist to vile cunt.
All because I've had the audacity to use a forum to have discussions with people. And we've not shared identical opinions.

I think what you said is worth remembering, they simply wouldn't say it to your face.
It's a shame that you can't differ opinions to some people or be open about experiences etc, without pile ons.

I've discussed grief in losing a baby and was basically made to feel stupid because my grief is different to the parents who have lost children to cancer, like my loss was nothing.

Those situations and I know MN has no tolerance towards violence but you dare minimise the very raw grief of a person who's just lost a much wanted pregancy, you'd get punched in the face and you'd deserve it.

There's so much punching down, personal attacks, pure hatred for certain groups, makes posting and reading uncomfortable, I rarely post now.

I’ve reported a handful of times when posters go on the Parenting forum and start gaslighting distraught OPs - e.g. a mother with a young baby is concerned and seeks reassurance, and getting replies like “do you suffer from anxiety, OP?”

Those sorts of posts are unacceptable to me. As if young women aren’t dismissed left, right and center, let’s gaslight them into believing their concerns/emotions are not valid and a result of mental health issues.

I think the S&B trolls are from the place that takes the piss and reposts photos over there.

Does anyone know what results in getting banned on mn?
Presumably it’s not repeatedly insulting other posters.