Easter stuff - would I be right to complain?

[suzettenoisette]

At work we do a Secret Santa every year for Christmas. It has been going on for years now and has always been nice. Someone suggested doing it for Easter too about three years ago and we have been doing it ever since and never encountered any issues.

The way it works is that we pull names and every person gets a small Easter gift for another person who works there. In the end we find out who gave us the gift as the name is on the Easter card. Gifts can be decorations, a book, chocolate - whatever. The limit is 10 pounds, it's just for fun really, nothing else, and we enjoy it. Everyone at our work place is earning a good salary.

I opened my gift and I was a bit disappointed. It's from our new colleague who always seems nice. Not because of the things that had been chosen, but because of the quality. I received a bunny decoration, a chapstick and some chocolate. I would have been totally happy and pleased with that.

But the chapstick has clearly been opened before. There is a bit of dirt on it and the packaging wasn't closed properly. The Easter decoration is smelly and the outsides of the fabric are brown and yellow. The chocolate seems fine but I'm scared to eat it with the other stuff being so nasty I am sort of wondering what might have happened to it.

Should I say something? To the person who organised it or to the person who gave me the gift? I would say the latter but then again the person who organised it said we should come to him if we face any issues but that seems kind of wrong to me.

I know it isn't really an issue but a minor thing I just feel sad because we usually make an effort to show each other we care. I would have been fine with chocolate for 1 pound, really, but giving smelly, used stuff sort of feels mean. She knows the rules of the game and joining isn't an obligation. You also don't have to opt out or anything. The way it works is that they put a bowl there and if you want to participate you put your name in it and otherwise you don't.

You are being reasonable - you should bring it up
You are being unreasonable - just forget about it

When did "Easter gifts" and "Easter decorations" become a thing?

And when did the office Secret (but not actually secret) Easter Bunny become a thing?

Sorry OP but I'm struggling to imagine that actual, real grown-ups capable of holding down a job could possibly care about any of this.

If she had the front to wrap up crappy, half used items; she won't give a toss if she's called on it.

While that may be true, if there's a WhatsApp group it must be fairly obvious who isn't taking part and a new employee might have worried about that.

Tbh, I genuinely can’t remember when I’ve not had a load of crap from something like that. Now I don’t bother getting involved which saves me the hassle of finding a nice, thoughtful gift for such a small amount - which is surprisingly time-consuming! I know I sound like Scrooge but it just seems a waste of time, money and plastic a lot of the time…

Maybe she took any “£10 maximum” rule literally and spent the bare minimum on the second-hand decoration? If she’s new, maybe she’s never done it before so doesn’t realise the quality people tend to buy. She may be mortified after seeing what others bought…

Not sure about the lipbalm though… Definitely not something like a Body Shop or Burt’s Bees one which was used in the shop and she didn’t realise as she never opened it?

I’d give the benefit of the doubt and forget it - but say “thanks but no thanks” next time there’s a Secret Santa.

i can't be the only one thanking my lucky stars that my workplace didn't decide that secret Santa isn't enough - let's also do secret Easter bunny?!!

OP, kindly, I think you're really really overthinking this. You got a terrible gift. Throw it away (and no, a smoky smelling item won't damage your unborn child unless you perhaps roll it up and start smoking it yourself) and move on.

im not sure what your intention is to 'say something' - what do you actually want out of it? Tomorrow's internal newsletter to make an announcement about No Secondhand Lipbalms to be given at Xmas?!

it was a horrendous 'gift' but really, what do you expect to happen now?

I’d be a bit hurt, too. She’s just had a holiday somewhere in Europe, she likes the pricey places for lunch, it’s fair to say she could have afforded the tenner she voluntarily signed up to spend.

She’s either a shit gift giver, did it to get a gift herself but doesn’t give a fuck about the one she gives out (most likely) or she forgot, and instead of going to a supermarket and buying an egg and some bath stuff, decided to shove a smelly Easter decoration, used chapstick and quid bar of chocolate in a bag. Lovely. 😑

Those having a pop at the OP about ‘bitchy dynamics’ must have arms like Mr Tickle.

Just bin it and move on. I’ve never had anything nice from a work secret Santa so don’t bother taking part now. One year a senior manager forgot and gave someone some lottery tickets he’d just bought, of course they didn’t win anything and then they had nothing for secret Santa.

I'd bin them and move on. She is a CF.

Just another expense for people at work, who maybe don't want to be seen as a killjoy. Who on earth dreams up this stuff? Easter santa, or whatever, it's too much.

I'd leave the chapstick on her desk when she's not there, say nothing and bin the rest.