Easter stuff - would I be right to complain?

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At work we do a Secret Santa every year for Christmas. It has been going on for years now and has always been nice. Someone suggested doing it for Easter too about three years ago and we have been doing it ever since and never encountered any issues.

The way it works is that we pull names and every person gets a small Easter gift for another person who works there. In the end we find out who gave us the gift as the name is on the Easter card. Gifts can be decorations, a book, chocolate - whatever. The limit is 10 pounds, it's just for fun really, nothing else, and we enjoy it. Everyone at our work place is earning a good salary.

I opened my gift and I was a bit disappointed. It's from our new colleague who always seems nice. Not because of the things that had been chosen, but because of the quality. I received a bunny decoration, a chapstick and some chocolate. I would have been totally happy and pleased with that.

But the chapstick has clearly been opened before. There is a bit of dirt on it and the packaging wasn't closed properly. The Easter decoration is smelly and the outsides of the fabric are brown and yellow. The chocolate seems fine but I'm scared to eat it with the other stuff being so nasty I am sort of wondering what might have happened to it.

Should I say something? To the person who organised it or to the person who gave me the gift? I would say the latter but then again the person who organised it said we should come to him if we face any issues but that seems kind of wrong to me.

I know it isn't really an issue but a minor thing I just feel sad because we usually make an effort to show each other we care. I would have been fine with chocolate for 1 pound, really, but giving smelly, used stuff sort of feels mean. She knows the rules of the game and joining isn't an obligation. You also don't have to opt out or anything. The way it works is that they put a bowl there and if you want to participate you put your name in it and otherwise you don't.

You are being reasonable - you should bring it up
You are being unreasonable - just forget about it

Did she really. Or did she feel pressured as the new girl.

We have, but you have not read the replies. In your opinion there is no pressure to join in. For a new start trying to fit in there absolutely is a feeling they should try to be involved, be a team player etc. You cant say "fun and enjoyment" is optional and think that leaves someone feeling good about themselves 🤔

I wouldn't be thanking her on the Whatsapp group. Or at most I'd mention the bunny but leave out the used stuff. It's poor form of her not to spend the £10 as agreed.

I don’t think you can complain about every item. But I’d choose the chapstick to say something about, because it’s gross

I’d say “this looks like it’s been opened already” so she knows you’ve noticed, but it could just be that you’re concerned she’s been ripped off “paying” for something that’s already open.

I’d have to say something, even though I wouldn’t directly say “I can’t believe you made so little effort”

It’s shit but you would look really pathetic if you complained. Just move on. It’s not a big issue.

Then how come you didn't read that she insists on going to the more expensive places for lunch almost every day even though there are many cheaper options?

You don’t know her situation. She probably wanted to join in to try to fit in with her new colleagues. And then maybe realised she couldn’t really afford it. Be kind OP. Be the bigger person. Don’t mention it - to her or to anyone else. Just move on.

It sounds like she just wanted the £10 gift for herself without spending any time or money. Bin the lot.

I wouldn't say anything but also wouldn't be taking part in any more secret present buying. It's always the ignorant idiots who spoil it.
If you have colleagues you are close to I would suggest you stick to buying between yourselves.

And don’t say thank you!!

Jesus get a life, pathetic

I really want to love stuff like this (Secret Santa) but in reality buying a £5 or £10 gift for a colleague throws me into a panic worse than buying a £30 or £50 gift for a friend or family member. The last office Secret Santa we did was in 2019 (thank goodness for new hybrid working) and at the time there was a bit of a cliquey and cool group that included my line manager. If I got one of this group in the Secret Santa, my thought processes would cycle through: “get something normal like chocolates or beer (but maybe that’s too boring?) > get something a bit risqué to show them I’m fun > get something to do with their hobby or sport (but what if they already have it or it’s rubbish?) > get something really ‘out there’ and random to show them my zany personality > have a last-minute panic and get the first thing I could find in Boots that lunchtime”.
It was entirely arbitrary where I would land and what the recipient would receive. It definitely wasn’t always successful.

The one time I thought I got something perfect (a mug I’d had printed for a fairly high-up manager with a picture of his hometown and a motto I thought he’d appreciate), he wasn’t in on the present-giving day so I’ve no idea if he thought it was cool or if, bemused, he put it straight in the bin.

So I don’t know what happened with the chapstick etc but would certainly empathise if it was a ‘good intentions, poor execution’ scenario!

Don’t say thank you

No! Don’t be a doomat!

I'd say something to the organiser about the used lip balm - not to punish the new employee, but to help define, refine and publicise the requirements for future exchanges.

It's not OK, and it's potentially hazardous, to "gift" used lip cosmetics to a stranger. Yes, there is a secondary market for things like rare discontinued lipsticks, and someone may be willing to accept the risk of a product clearly described as previously used, but generally it is considered a hazard. You can usually find a blister pack with a single flavoured lip balm/chapstick at Poundland, etc. for £1 or £2.

You're not U to be disappointed or to chuck it all in the bin; but I suspect that it was a re-gift (and that she didn't realize herself how bad it was), rather than something more deliberate.

Sorry, I misunderstood the voting and went the wrong way. It’s fine to be disappointed but I’d just chuck the present and hope for a better draw next time. If they are a new starter they might pick up the hint for next time about what is expected - or choose to opt out. Either sounds fine. Don’t embarrass them or yourself by making an issue over a tenner gift with someone who is otherwise nice.

I never participate in things like that these days, due to continually getting shit gifts or no gift at all, when I'd gone to a big effort to get my recipient something that they would like.

OP, I probably wouldn't bother saying anything but wouldn't take part in any further secret Santa type things

I thought everyone loved second hand gifts on here 😂

If it were me, I'd bring in the bunny and hang it in full view on my desk and when people asked where I got it, I'd tell them that Mrs 2nd hand bought it!

Is this thread a wind-up?
I can't believe an adult would upset themselves so much about workplace trivia. It's a bit of shabby tat from a new colleague, not your friend. It's meaningless. Why are you attaching so much import to it?

I tried cleaning the bunny decoration but it it is not possible. It is made from fabric and white and the outsides are brown and yellow from dirt. It smells of smoke and sort of musty, so I am worried as I am pregnant and have a small kid.
What do you think will happen to your small child & unborn baby because something that might be slightly smoky was brought home? Presumably you've already binned it?

Should I say something? To the person who organised it or to the person who gave me the gift? I would say the latter but then again the person who organised it said we should come to him if we face any issues but that seems kind of wrong to me.
You don't have an issue. You have a giant over-reaction.
What do you imagine would happen, if you said something - to anyone?
Do you think a company-wide policy would instantly be enforced, banning people from giving crap? How would 'crap' be defined? Who would be the arbiter of what 'crap' is, & how would such a policy be documented, universally understood, & enforced?
How much time do you think line managers or HR should be spending on this non-event, just because a grown up can't deal with the fact that a new colleague is tight/weird/grubby?

Just throw the tat away, if you haven't already.
The mature thing to have done would have been to tell a friend & snigger to each other about how ridiculous other people are.
You say you are all in well-paid positions. Start acting like it, unless you want to run & complain to teacher management & be noted as a nitpicking troublemaker.

I’d chuck the lot in the bin, post a thanks and move on without complaint. However, I wouldn’t forget about it - it’s weird and rude to give someone something smelly and dirty and particularly filthy to give an opened chapstick. I’d wonder if new colleague is a CF.

You said elsepost it's not about the money.
Yet here you are, still obsessing, wondering. You're only harming yourself by getting wound up about it. Chapstick Colleague won't be wasting any time worrying about it. Do he same!

It's not a reflection on you. Had she drawn another name, they would have been the lucky recipient of her used chapstick. Just accept that some people have weird quirks, & move on.

Just get rid and move on, why does it have to be a thing?

I assumed she'd forgotten and grabbed stuff in a panic

Used chapstick? Better to buy a bar of chocolate than give someone your used toiletries. Don't participate if you're going to give shit.