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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Have I Overreacted?

110 replies

CleverLilViper · 09/04/2023 18:03

This isn't a big deal at all-but I am really annoyed about it.

I live in an end terraced house. To the right of me, is a detached house and to the left-there is three other terraced homes. To the right, there are children and to the left, there are also children.

I sometimes get balls kicked into my garden. I'm not too fussed about this really. It happens and I don't mind if a kid knocks on my door and asks me to get it.

Well, recently, I've had two balls thrown/kicked over my fence and no idea who it was from as both sets of kids like to play with footballs. So I left them there, waiting for someone to claim it as didn't want to assume who they belonged to.

I've been out all day with my dogs at my parents for Easter Sunday dinner and come home, find my gate has been unlocked-I've got the normal standard lock (just a metal bar) and a kind of bar lock that you pull unlocked from the inside.

Someone has reached over and unlocked it and got into my garden and took the balls. As I was so annoyed at the trespass, I went straight over to the people that I assumed did it (the neighbours to the right of me) (as I know my immediate neighbour wouldn't just go onto my property) and asked if they did it. He admitted it was him and I said, "Well, in future, don't. It's trespass." He then said he wouldn't but in an arsey fashion that told me he didn't care about why I was annoyed-and said he'd tell the kid as he'd helped the kid jump over. He didn't-he opened the gate.

It annoys me so much because I've got dogs and if the gate is improperly closed/locked they could get loose. If I hadn't checked and just opened the door, assuming that it was locked as I'd have no reason to believe otherwise and it wasn't-they could have been lost. If I'd dropped or my nephew for example had knocked something into their garden and they were out-I wouldn't trespass onto their garden to claim it-I'd wait until they returned and ask.

I realise that's a long thread for a whole lot of nothing. I just don't know if I've done the wrong thing in going over and saying something. I don't want to escalate anything-but I also sure as hell don't want people getting into habits of just walking onto my property without asking me first.

OP posts:

Original poster

CleverLilViper · 09/04/2023 21:35

MRex · 09/04/2023 21:33

That's exactly how our childhood dog died, well almost, borrowing a ladder. So YANBU and unfortunately you need to change how it's locked.

I'm so sorry :(

Yeah, I will do. I'm going to look into options tomorrow and see if I can fit a chain around the gate to stop it being opened.

OP posts:

ElleMD80 · 09/04/2023 21:45

Reddress2023 · 09/04/2023 21:25

Oh ffs get a life. Your dogs didn't get out. Kids having fun outside? What a crime.

That is not actually the issue, though, is it? It is the grown man letting himself in through the closed-off gate when the house was empty. Or say you have a cousin over and this cousin is in your home alone for a bit, only to see an unknown man in the garden. You do not enter an empty property or its grounds. A ball is not a need-to-survive item, you don’t háve to get it right that instant.

AlbertaAnnie · 09/04/2023 21:46

CleverLilViper · 09/04/2023 19:23

That's the thing. He's an adult so he should already know it's unacceptable to enter someone else's property without their permission. So I can be as abrupt as I would like to get that message across. I wasn't swearing my head off and being abusive. I was rightly annoyed by someone going into my property without my consent.

As for the easily accessible comment-it's not really that easily accessible. There is a lock on the gate. That's how I know an adult (and the fact he confirmed it himself) opened it. You have to reach right over the gate to slide the lock open and it would have taken effort.

No, there was no property damage but is that relevant? So, if he'd kicked the gate in, unacceptable but since he managed to open it-ah well, no big deal.

Show quote history

OP,
I understand why you are annoyed and I would feel the same way - however you are coming across very defensive but you did come on here to ask for others options. If you come across in real life as you do on here then it’s entirely possible that you did overreact.

Turnipworkharder · 09/04/2023 21:47

Totally agree with you OP he had no right to enter your property.

What's he teaching his children ? no rules in society , do whatever they want ?

he's lucky you don't pop the balls that come in to your garden,like my previous neighbour did.

MessOfEyelinerAndSpraypaint · 09/04/2023 21:52

Sympathy to those who lost their pets through the selfish actions of the utterly entitled who, as evinced by this thread as well as years of watching people centre themselves & their children to the detriment of neighbours & community. OP it's sad but inevitable that you need to padlock your gate, and of course you are not being unreasonable. PPs probably think it's fine to let their children do whatever they please dawn til dusk - It's Just Playing 🙄 - & have no idea they are the neighbours from Hell.

WandaWonder · 09/04/2023 21:59

No not saying you should not have posted but what do you want us to say?

I don't disagree with you but you have made up your mind what is right so,why are toy asking?

Other than 'they are wrong' what do you want from poster's?

IfOnlyOurEyesSawSouls · 09/04/2023 22:03

I would go nuts if anyone came into my garden without my permission.

i have neved allowed our DC to do this.

This thread just proves the amount of entitled arseholes there are.

OP it is entirely legally to put sharp bushes like pyracanthus along your bkundaries to stop this type of arsehole behaviour.

PoorDD1 · 09/04/2023 23:18

YADNBU. Unfortunately my kids do get balls over the fence which I feel very bad about. My lovely neighbour has said before that if she's away we're welcome to go through the side gate to collect them.

Despite that, we never have and never would. I would not feel comfortable being on someone else's property. In fact a ball went over the fence this morning and the neighbour is on holiday for a week. As upset as DC was, they didn't for one second think we should go and retrieve it somehow.

You were 100% right to say something

Monstermoomoo · 09/04/2023 23:32

YANBU.

Of course they shouldn't enter your garden to collect their balls. They need to wait for you to get home and ask you for them.

It reminds me of my friend's old neighbour though - one neighbour to the left, one to the right and two to the back. The friend's neighbour always ended up with various footballs in her garden and refused to let anyone collect them 😂😂 So when she moved out after 20+ years in the house and someone new moved in they were met with dozens of footballs in the shed 😂😂😂 absolutely batshit crazy. Like, either give them back or get rid of them?!

SoWhat21 · 09/04/2023 23:50

i don’t think you’re unreasonable to be annoyed at someone entering your garden without your permission.
However you obviously don’t doubt your position so I am genuinely confused as to why you’ve gone to the bother of posting an AIBU.
Unless you’re still very wound up and just came here for a bit of a bun fight?

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