Have I Overreacted?

[CleverLilViper]

This isn't a big deal at all-but I am really annoyed about it.

I live in an end terraced house. To the right of me, is a detached house and to the left-there is three other terraced homes. To the right, there are children and to the left, there are also children.

I sometimes get balls kicked into my garden. I'm not too fussed about this really. It happens and I don't mind if a kid knocks on my door and asks me to get it.

Well, recently, I've had two balls thrown/kicked over my fence and no idea who it was from as both sets of kids like to play with footballs. So I left them there, waiting for someone to claim it as didn't want to assume who they belonged to.

I've been out all day with my dogs at my parents for Easter Sunday dinner and come home, find my gate has been unlocked-I've got the normal standard lock (just a metal bar) and a kind of bar lock that you pull unlocked from the inside.

Someone has reached over and unlocked it and got into my garden and took the balls. As I was so annoyed at the trespass, I went straight over to the people that I assumed did it (the neighbours to the right of me) (as I know my immediate neighbour wouldn't just go onto my property) and asked if they did it. He admitted it was him and I said, "Well, in future, don't. It's trespass." He then said he wouldn't but in an arsey fashion that told me he didn't care about why I was annoyed-and said he'd tell the kid as he'd helped the kid jump over. He didn't-he opened the gate.

It annoys me so much because I've got dogs and if the gate is improperly closed/locked they could get loose. If I hadn't checked and just opened the door, assuming that it was locked as I'd have no reason to believe otherwise and it wasn't-they could have been lost. If I'd dropped or my nephew for example had knocked something into their garden and they were out-I wouldn't trespass onto their garden to claim it-I'd wait until they returned and ask.

I realise that's a long thread for a whole lot of nothing. I just don't know if I've done the wrong thing in going over and saying something. I don't want to escalate anything-but I also sure as hell don't want people getting into habits of just walking onto my property without asking me first.

Honestly? You overreacted a little bit....and are also being very reactive on this thread.

They shouldn't have met themselves in. They should have just knocked and asked, but some people wouldn't like that either.

Next time they will know anyway so no real harm done

I have kids and they sometimes kick a ball into the next door neighbours front garden. I do get the ball, but I wouldn’t dream of going into a back garden. That’s very invasive, and I’m very particular about closing the front gate after me too. I don’t think you are unreasonable at all, I would be livid if someone climbed into my back and to top it off left the gate open. I agree with others saying to increase your security with a padlock to avoid it again. Some people have an awful cheek!

I mean - I’m going to assume you lock your front door too? Because By your reasoning OP why would you do such a thing? Surely you expect that people wouldn’t try to enter your house so why would you lock the doors? (See,often trying to demean peoples suggestions really works against you)

First up, do you seriously think it's acceptable (simply for lack of a padlock) that someone enters someone else's property without their permission?

Second, there is a bolt on the gate. He had to reach over the top of the gate, tug it and unlock it to gain access.

Third, would it be acceptable to steal a car if someone forget to lock it? By your reasoning, it would.

OP. What are you trying to achieve here?

It’s not only rude but also stupid to go into someone’s yard like that neighbour did. In America, he might well have been shot (not even exaggerating much there). When I am at home, I do not expect to look out and see some guy in my garden. Even if it is a neighbour, even if I know he is retrieving a ball. And when my house is empty, for sure nobody has business coming on the property.

I don’t understand why you’ve asked AIBU if you’ve already decided that you aren’t. By the way you’ve responded to some of the comments I think you’re totally unreasonable and would be an absolute nightmare to live next to. What happened to being neighbourly. I could understand if they were coming in to vandalise but kids collecting their own balls is hardly the crime of the century get a grip.

YANBU

Gets some better locks on your gate, any balls in the garden leave them on the street to be collected.

If go as far as to install a camera on my back gate too.

It's entitled to assume you can go onto someone else's property without permission for whatever reason.

OP is entitled to sit in or leave her garden without worrying someone else is letting themselves in.

I'm astonished at all these posters who are absolutely fine with neighbours going in their garden while they're out! If a child climbed a fence between two gardens to get a ball that's one thing, but an adult unbolting someone's garden gate is not acceptable at all where I live. I can only surmise that they just enjoy telling a poster that they're wrong.

What was neighbourly about allowing themselves into my property without my permission?

I never said it was crime of the century. It's irrelevant what they entered my property to do. I don't want people entering my property without my permission. Delivery drivers and people doing their jobs-where I expect them to-fine.

Neighbours and people I haven't given permission to-not fine. I wouldn't enter a neighbours garden without their permission for any reason-so I expect the same courtesy to be shown.

That's so miserable.

It's annoying, isn't it. My back garden is backed on to by five other gardens which all have children. I get everything from balls to hula-hoops to weird inflatable things landing in my garden. Even a hedgehog house once! I can't be bothered with the knocking so I just put everything outside the back gate. If someone else takes it, it's not my problem.

I agree with you. It's not on. I have a dog too, I wouldn't be happy if someone opened my gate in case he bit them or escaped. My dog is anxious, guards and does bite. If it carries on, I'd get a padlock to prevent it. Perhaps any ball you see, put into a box and leave outside your gate? Then it's down to them to collect.

This , just leave balls at the front and hopefully it won’t happen again . I too would be annoyed that if the gate had been left unsecured the dogs could escape .

Dispose of any balls that come into your garden for a while.
You may find that neighbouring children become more careful about where they kick them.

This. You've clearly only posted because you want people to agree you were in the right. I have a dog and would be annoyed, but not to this extent. And if I didn't want it to happen again, I would get a padlock.

I get why you are annoyed but by your own admission you weren’t actually at home for them to ask hence why they clearly felt the need to take retrieval into their own hands. If I have balls come over I just pop them outside my back gate on the pavement, who takes them from there is not my responsibility.

Oh ffs get a life. Your dogs didn't get out. Kids having fun outside? What a crime.

Hi Op

I have had my bathroom window smashed twice by my next door neighbours teenager son, at that time,

Playing football on his patio garden...

So you think the entire crux of my issue is kids having fun outside?

It must be fun to be that hard of thinking.

Try and think of the bigger picture is what I think that poster is suggesting. In the scheme of things it is not that big a deal. You think it is but others don't have those issues. Nothing to do with intellect.

You are not being unreasonable.

Something very similar happened to me. I got home from work, let the dog into the garden for a wee as usual. Unbeknown to me someone had been in my back garden and left the gate open. My little dog escaped and was hit by a car and passed away :(

I always feel guilty for not checking the gate

I dunno.

The kids probably thought you were cool and when you weren’t home (maybe they knocked first) they thought it’d be ok.

The only reason you knew is because the balls were gone, not because the gate was actually left open etc so I’m thinking that you overreacted in this instance.

I'm so sorry to hear that :'(

That's exactly how our childhood dog died, well almost, borrowing a ladder. So YANBU and unfortunately you need to change how it's locked.