Vanish Supporting Autism Advert

[Tealsofa]

I don't normally watch terrestrial TV, but watching the voyage of the dawn treader on C4, and the advert for vanish keeps coming up.

It looks like a deep meaningful maybe a charity or awareness advert, and then it's "vanish" a cleaning product

My ds (autistic) was also wtf about it

Going off on a tangent. I do wonder if it was helpful to get rid of the Aspergers (I realise the name is problematic) part of autism diagnosis. Putting everyone under the ASD umbrella, seems to have thrown people together who have such varying needs and must lead to difficulties?

Not the person you replied to. We need more ND representation. But I think the bit with the drums in a shared space was a mistep. It was an unreasonable thing to do, regardless of being ND. And pushed audience sympathies entirely to the (presumably) NT sister and her issues.

So much of the ad was me growing up. And I really empathised. Especially with a beloved clothing item. But the drums? In the living room effectively? That seems like an utter recipe for disaster. And most people on the Asperger's end of the ASD spectrum (which is what is being portrayed here) know that. And I hope their parents would know that too.

The sister getting annoyed by all the cumulualtive little things, would make just as much sense. And not give the impression that all people with autism are utterly unreasonable - whilst still presenting that autistic teens can be very difficult to live with.

Gosh yes.

I present with quite stereotypical ASD (and probable ADHD). My sister, who has the same diagnosis is impacted by entirely different things to me.

You have your opinion and I have mine, I think you're being ridiculous and it's still not bloody GDPR!

Ok i work in care , have done a long time and this is not a GDR concern because she and her family have given consent .You don't know they were talked into it that is one huge assumption .They have i feel brought a lot of awareness to autistic girls who mask .Out of my two high functioning teen DD one can attend mainstream one cannot .The one is a extremely good masker ,very intelligent and very quiet in class .So anything that highlights this is brilliant in my eyes .To be honest the way you say they were talked into it is a bit rude ,we don't know them personally yet you have assumed that they were naive enough to let themselves be used .Wonder what they would make of that ?

@Floralsquirrel apologies the post is not meant to look as a reply to you as that i disagree with you , i actually do not .I missed to quote what you were replying too.

Found it quite traumatising.

Poor bloody sister. Will probably grow up to be in some kind of abusive relationship where she acts as the 'rescuer' to some knob and can't even recognise her own feelings or emotions til she's about 50.

Or maybe that's just me projecting.

And who buys a full on drum set and puts it in their living room?

That aside, why isn't the money going 50:50 to a better autism support charity and a young carers charity? Whatever the equivalent of greenwashing is, this is it. As if Vanish care.

Yes, exactly!
I think the 'plot' here is a major issue. The sister got annoyed (understandably) at the drums, hid the blazer. Triggering a meltdown, she then had to find it and apologise.
There's nothing 'positive' about the main character from a human perspective. She's clever and artistic - so? The public already think autistic people all have some hidden genius. It doesn't really add anything. They could have portrayed her as doing OK with a mix of A/B grades.
Yes, this is a snapshot and not her whole life, but what they choose is consistent with the story they want to tell, that's why we have film analysis as an academic subject in the first place.
What is that story? That while the world can overwhelm autistic people, their loved ones have to just tiptoe around them?

The sister may not even have been ND. Could've been like mine. Champion masker, unlike her older sibling. Until she couldn't.

Would it have been so hard to have a scene where something nice is shown? Like maybe the sisters making up after fighting, like any other pair of sisters?

Hear hear! And I do often think that, as a society in general, the more granular we’re encouraged to get with our diagnoses and identities, the greater our expectation that others should be able to understand us perfectly, intuit our needs, and offer perfectly tailored adaptations and accommodation.

And that is just not possible, in the crowded and overwhelming world we live in. The underfunded and bureaucratic systems that serve us are scrambling to keep up with our expanding self-awareness.

The nervous-system-friendly environment you describe is basically how I grew up, in a rural university town outside the UK, in the halcyon days before the internet.

I went to a state school where there was no uniform, no rigid national curriculum, no pressure about exam results. We had a guidance counsellor who said ‘the best part of my job is hanging out with the Different kids’ - like we were Ally Sheedy and Judd Nelson in the Breakfast Club, rather than personified checklists of needs and sensitivities. We were just Different, in all our different ways, and he was there to help each of us work out ways to navigate the hellscape of adolescence as comfortably as possible.

Our high school also had a free crèche so that teenage mums could finish school. The system was set up to support kids to have as many options as possible, whatever their circumstances. And graduates did really well, by all the standard metrics.

There was no school ‘refusal’ that I was aware of. Not because people were made of sterner stuff back then, but because the system was flexible and properly resourced, and the teachers weren’t burnt the fuck out. Plus, of course, there was no such thing as social media, and there were half as many people in the world as there are now. Take me back!! 😭

I don't know anything about 'Ash' as a real person. But if she is amazing at maths, why should this not be portrayed? I got the impression she was 'playing herself '. I also think the real sister would be mortified that some of you have interpreted the film the way you have. But maybe not. Maybe she happy that her side has 'come through'. We don't know these people.

As for the drums. I think that's a red herring. That scene was about her regulating her emotions and the impact on the family who understandably got frustrated. It wasn't supposed to come across as Ash being selfish or a brat! I didn't take that from it. But like I said, that's my life being shown! I also didn't interpret the sister giving her the hoodie back as her being controlled. The sister was also fed up after having her life impacted. She lashed out and regretted it. She saw the impact on her sister and instantly knew she had gone too far. Just like many sibling relationships. It was very clear in the film that she cared deeply about her sister. It wasn't a reaction of being scared or controlled like some seem to think.

It moved me. Just because my son age 10 who has Autism is very much like the Autistic girl in the video. And the chaotic, testing, difficult dynamic of the house is very much like ours too. Son age 9 has Adhd and also have dd age 5. I am now a single parent to them all after suffering a lifetime of domestic abuse from my husband, and it's really not easy. There isn't much if any support in our area for parents of Asd kids.
I wish that after diagnosis by nhs there was immediate support and education, to make all of our lives easier and better.

Unfortunately this is the reality for my whole family. We all feel we are waking on egg shells as dc1 is autistic and very highly strung. one of his siblings in particular takes the brunt of his outbursts and now has anxiety himself and needs support

In my personal experience, most siblings are incredibly loving and tolerant and understanding towards their brother or sister as children/teens. Being totally candid here it tends to be adult life when resentment starts to emerge. I’m not saying that to make anyone feel bad, it’s just a point to consider when discussing it.

I thought it was great. One of my DDs is autistic and masks so well in school that her difficulties aren’t seen, she isn’t properly supported in school, and then we deal with the fall out at home.

I cried when I watched it, it felt like a real snapshot of our family life. I hope all my DD’s teachers see it. Awareness is a good thing.

I have a few friends with autistic daughters and they had the same reaction as me.

We do walk on eggshells, including her sister. But they are also close. Luckily we don’t have a drum kit 😂 I think part is quite symbolic though.

I agree with you.

As a mum of an autistic child with 2 other nuerotypical kids I really like the advert. For a start it's really good that Vanish are highlighting that girls are autistic too as some people in my experience still believe only boys are autistic. My son is diagnosed but I know mums of girls who are desperate for diagnosis for there daughters. Some present the same way as ds but they are still struggling to get diagnosis

I also like that it highlights the family dynamic and how living with someone can affect siblings but equally it's nice that it highlights that the sister realised how much she affected her sibling my taking her jumper. It highlights sensory overload too.

Very true for me. Tbh I didn't even know any better/different when young. I now see it as a type of grooming and it's fucked up my adult relationships as I spent my 20s 30s 40s acting as support human to everyone around me.
When other siblings post on here about how lovely it is blah blah I do wonder what their own relationships are like. We normalise abuse.

That said, I still play that role of supportive sibling and it's a lifelong caring role. Obviously unthanked as the people being cared for don't even think they are being protected/looked after. I wouldn't abandon them to the system.

You can care deeply and love someone though and still be resentful and have unmet needs because of them

And its so insidious that like others say, the full fall out only because obvious in much later life.

It shouldnt be dismissed

I can’t bear it. I agree that it depicts the life of siblings (accurately a lot of the time tbf) as total suit and if I could solve everything with a hoody life would be a fucking breeze.

I wish my DS had it that ‘hard.’

But it's not it's a competition

That's really sad, and it shouldn't be that way.

Depends on personal circumstances. It takes a lot of effort, and it's difficult. But yes, it's possible to pay attention to both siblings and not turn them into 'emotional support humans'. In my personal case although I have always tried to balance both needs the younger got diagnosed later than would have been ideal, which I still feel guilty about.

In my logical brain I don't think either of them are capable of, or should a 'caring role' for the other. So I don't see why another sibling, just because they are NT should have it. But then unlike @Turquoisesilver I've seen a lot of sibling impacts - out of my acquaintances a fair few of the siblings have been diagnosed with their own MH issues. Depression, anxiety, self-harm.

The girl herself is autistic and helped write the script it's excellent.

Well it clearly didn't work on you.

No it was competion for an advertiser to make an advert based on neurodiversity to raise awareness.

That is such a perceptive and thought provoking post.