Vanish Supporting Autism Advert

[Tealsofa]

I don't normally watch terrestrial TV, but watching the voyage of the dawn treader on C4, and the advert for vanish keeps coming up.

It looks like a deep meaningful maybe a charity or awareness advert, and then it's "vanish" a cleaning product

My ds (autistic) was also wtf about it

Can we please stop making every thread about autistic awareness and acceptance about the affect on others?

Not understanding the advert was by vanish doesn't mean that poster is ignorant about autism

She said that she thought it was from a mental health charity, because the bit about it being vanish was written on the screen and not spoken, and she couldn't read the screen at the time

As someone visually impaired I also wouldn't be able to read the writing on the screen in all situations.

Me not realising its for vanish does not make me less aware of autism

Given the poster seemed to have understood the advert apart from the vanish part you only seem annoyed that she is ignorant that vanish created the advert, a very odd thing to be annoyed about

But just to be clear, being unable to read the writing on a TV screen doesn't make someone ignorant, unless you think all visually impaired people are ignorant?

These days ‘others’ is highly likely to include other ND people though. That’s the real life challenge.

Especially as ironically given my dislike for the video - the girl in it would have been the sort expected to give way if she doesn’t ‘seem autistic’ to others.

15-20% of the world population is estimated to be neurodivergent. What’s more, they all may have conflicting needs. You get on a plane, one person stims loudly, the other is distressed by noise and can’t wear earplugs cuz sensory issues - what do you do? Hmm? Who takes precedence?

That’s why ‘accommodation’ is a delicate dance. It sounds bitter but it’s actually easier to be one of a few ND people and have everyone else be understanding. Than have lots, with different needs, who can’t exactly ‘absorb’ each other. It’s politically incorrect to say this.

I agree that there are others on the spectrum that need their voices heard. The Chris Packham film a few weeks ago made some headway with this, especially with the non verbal young man. I have a close friend whose DS is non-verbal, incontinent and other medical needs. I can't imagine how difficult life is for her family. But equally, she struggles to see mine despite us being close.

This advert was highlighting the struggles of autism in girls. I think the labelling of 'autism spectrum' is the problem here. But that's a thread/topic done to death.

@Turquoisesilver I'm glad you acknowledge I have no real choice in this. But I wanted to say that my NT DD has a wonderful life filled with so many extra curricular activities and friends. Our household does revolve mainly around her sister, but my youngest doesn't go without in any way. Lots of alone time with both her parents. I'm very close to both girls and I think the ASD is the reason for that in way. Solidarity with the NT DD and the safe space for the ND DD.

Well done to that family. You have highlighted it so well. By 'it', I mean living as and with an autistic teenage girl.

Don't be so disingenuous. The tone of the poster was incredibly dismissive - even after coming onto a thread that explained in great detail what it was about.

But Vanish is a clothes cleaning product, so the emphasis here is on sensory issues around clothing. I don't think anyone is suggesting for one minute that it's all there is to autism. It wouldn't be particularly relevant to this discussion if everyone was to give a long list of all the difficulties their autistic child faces day to day. It's a snapshot which captures a certain aspect of autism and, judging by the number of posters who have admitted to crying after watching it, it resonates on a very raw level. Just because life is even harder for some, doesn't mean that the difficulties faced by others shouldn't be highlighted and/or discussed. I also think dismissing the autistic girl as 'functioning, quirky with some difficulties' is astoundingly presumptuous.

Dismissing about it being an advert by vanish, not about autism

I'm not being disingenuous I'm being absolutely sincere especially when talking about a disability I have. The fact that you think I'm pretending to be insincere about it is actually quite distressing

There are people responding to this thread who have plenty of close experience of DC with autism, and people who have zero.

Those with zero experience aren’t necessarily ignorant or uncaring about children with autism and its effects on other family members but perhaps they have other things going on in their lives, perhaps they genuinely dislike commercial companies jumping onto an issue (Vanish don’t actually care about people with autism, you know: they are looking for the best way to maximise their profits by shoehorning “social issues” into their advertising), perhaps they don’t like being lectured at, perhaps they watch TV in the evening to as escapism and to switch off after a difficult day, perhaps they simply don’t give a shit - and why should they?

Please don’t tell posters about how they would benefit from watching the ad - it’s patronising.

I am sick of products being sold off the back of virtue signaling and awareness training.

I think it's exploitative tbh and I don't think it really helps awareness. It plays to already sympathetic audiences but alienates others - and the danger in that is active backlash.

So it gets cash out of people going 'ooo look at the poor people how wonderful are vanish' when vanish could actually have a really piss poor track record of employment for autism. We don't actually know.

The likes of energy companies have been criticised for adverts that promote green ideas but many have been shown to merely be running 'greenwashing' campaigns to improve their public imagine rather than their being substance to them.

I'm deeply skeptical of advertisers who jump on bandwagons rather than focusing on their product tbh. Is there product really that good, if they have to draw focus away from it? Is the branding worth the extra over the own brand alternative?

@Mycathatesmecuddling thank you for explaining. I am not dismissing your disability. I was explaining that I found PP's tone dismissive and that's what I responded to, not the fact that they didn't have their glasses on.

In much the same I suppose as you found my tone dismissive and responded. Rightly so. I'm sorry to have upset you.

@FrancescaContini I'm not at all sorry I upset you though

This - makes me sad that people don't see it

Poor lily.why do the parents indulge Ashley's every whim and let her rude roughshod over Lily.This is setting Lily up to accept abusive behaviour.

I appreciate your apology, I suppose its irritating for me to see an advert win awards for being inclusive when they have writing on a screen not read out that visually impaired people then might not be able to read

Genuinely though I think you are misreading that posters post

There are several conversations going on on this thread

How good a representation it is of autism, especially in girls

How hard it is for the sister

Whether autism in all its forms could be better represented

Why vanish has chosen to do this and whether commercial interests best align with supporting disability and whether vanish is making money off appropriating someone's disability

To the last point the poster responding that they hadn't even realised it was vanish because they hadn't read the screen

They weren't being dismissive of autism, they were joining in the conversation around vanish making money off this and whether that's right or not. The only people they were being dismissive of was vanish, which is why another poster asked if you worked for vanish because given the context of the post that's the only way your response made sense

On the point of the NT sibling, my other teenage daughter is in a similar position. Has to put up with a lot being the younger sibling of two teen autistic people a sister and brother. So there are compromises due to limitations on our lives that are necessary for her siblings to cope. I admire my DD2 greatly, she is emotionally mature, kind and fiercely protective of her siblings. She loves them, and at the same time they squabble and snipe like any siblings close in age do. However they are all kind and respectful and supportive of each other. But she is human and a teen so there are times when none of us cope well, we argue, and it gets very stressful. Then other times when DD2 is encouraged and entertained by her siblings in a way only they can, as they know her so well and have an honest and unique approach to life. So despite the compromises I don't think dd2 would have it any other way.

The glimpses you get in a 3 minute film are not enough to conclude that the nt sibling has a terrible time. Just that they are a family doing their best in a difficult situation with teen hormones thrown in to really ramp up the emotions. I respect the messy and imperfect nature of it. Life is imperfect, messy and often unfair.

Peoples needs due to autism are not whims

It is uncomfortable so see Lily's life and to see the impact living with a sibling with autism has on her

But dont dismiss the very real day to day issues that Ash deals with as whims. That's like calling someones wheelchair a whim if sometimes they can walk

Because the advert is specifically about Ashley and the difficulties she has so it highlights a montage of moments in her day, why it would show the days/times where Lily is at forefront when they're not relevant to the story being told? If you followed this RL family around for a few days you'd probably see those moments.

As an FYI, meeting the support needs of a disabled person is not the same thing as "indulging their every whim". They're not whims, they're behaviours associated with their disability and helping that person to manage them isn't an indulgence.

Everyone has needs and everyone has whims. People with autism arent any different, they will still have whims/likes/dislikes/desire, not everything in their life is about their condition.

Trying not to laugh at the implication that general soap storylines aren’t crap.

have a family with an autistic kid, older child/teen. Watch their struggles and triumphs over a few years. Really wouldn’t be hard because you know, autistic people are still people can and live fun, fulfilling, and exciting lives too.

Such ignorance.

To the last few PP who have highlighted the fact that yes, Lily has some tough moments. But it's a 3 minute clip. Just like trying to fit in all of Ash's difficulties and of course strengths in that time is near on impossible.

I have noticed a lot more is being done to highlight awareness of autism in girls. Recently there has been a number of things in TV. Let's hope the tide is turning. Clearly there is still work to be done ☹️.

Clunky is the right word here. Good on vanish for getting people talking though. I know many parent friends with autistic kids feel seen.

That's what we thought

I am not saying it is not a good depiction of how tough it is for siblings (we have a younger ds) it was more "this is an advert for a CLEANING PRODUCT???"

I’m not remotely upset, what makes you think that?

I still think you’re a Vanish employee though 🤪

Of course they do

But the poster was referring to the small snippets about Ashley displayed in the advert as whims where as it seems quite clear that some of them at least (the need for quiet, the need to play the drums, the need for the sensory room, the need for the hoody) where not whims

Things that becomes a barrier to most disabled people is the term "appeasing to their whims".

A disability isn't ever a whim.

What worked for me and my disabled ds was a) ignoring those who decided this was what I was doing and b) focussing on supporting him with the things that count. What we called the necessaries.

For me is wasn't necessary for him to learn to cope with a music lesson at school. This was a societal norm that had no actual life skill attached to it.

What did matter though was supporting him to manage things such as accessing food (whatever he can eat made into a balanced diet). Accessing a healthy lifestyle including the ability to exercise. Manage an income so he could afford life. (And for some this will include supporting them to claim benefits because they can't work).

It's not a "whim" that a wheelchair user wants the wheelchair space on public transport. It's necessary for them to access a balanced lifestyle and get out and about like non disabled people do.

It's not a "whim" someone who's ND can't access a supermarket. It's necessary to purchase food for survival. So you find a way around that. Online ordering, going during the night when it's quiet with a support worker or whatever works.

For us it's worked really well.

No my 18yo teen can't do a supermarket shop, manage money well or budget, go out alone, cook. He needs full support for all these things because of his physical disability and autism.

But he's also just made the British team for his sport and has been told of his performances continue as they are he'll be going as part of that team to the Paralympic's next year.

I've never seen it as pandering to his whims but supporting him to access a full life where he can pursue his dreams like everyone else and finding out what support he needs to do this.

And the most amazing thing is all those things I didn't force him to do at 11/12 yo and was told I was mollycoddling him over are things he's found his own way to do as he wasn't in a pressurised environment to act "normal" and non disabled and so had the energy to find his own way in the world.