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Vanish Supporting Autism Advert

213 replies

Tealsofa · 09/04/2023 15:15

I don't normally watch terrestrial TV, but watching the voyage of the dawn treader on C4, and the advert for vanish keeps coming up.

It looks like a deep meaningful maybe a charity or awareness advert, and then it's "vanish" a cleaning product

My ds (autistic) was also wtf about it

OP posts:
Tarantullah · 10/04/2023 09:16

AmericasfavoritefightingFrenchman · 10/04/2023 09:08

Interesting… I might cut vanish a little more slack if their product had ever worked on the clothes my DC have ‘ruined’.

I can imagine that the campaign is coming from a well-intentioned place, and the awareness-raising is valuable, but the ‘vanish fixed it’ happy ending is so trite. Vanish barely touched the sides of all the stuff going on for that family. They also preface it with a note about the awards they’ve won for diversity in advertising which is more blowing their own trumpet, it’s not necessary for the campaign.

Ultimately I think, however accurate the representation might be in the space of three minutes, we’re setting a pretty low bar if this advert is the best that can be done.

I'm not sure why this advert has to be the best that can be done, why when a company sensitively and accurately depicts and gives a platform to an underrepresented and often misunderstood segment of society does it have to be a higher bar than other adverts? I don't see the issue with them 'blowing their own trumpet' either, some people like to choose which companies they spend their money on wisely, why shouldn't they promote that they have taken action to be more inclusive?

Xrays · 10/04/2023 09:16

VegetableGyoza · 10/04/2023 08:52

Fabulous. ❤️

Turquoisesilver · 10/04/2023 09:20

I’m not intending to be unnecessarily argumentative here, but you did reply saying you were ‘disappointed’ with the comments on the thread, @user1471530109 and at that point there were only five posts (including the OP.)

I don’t think anyone doubts siblings have a really strong bond, but like any relationship, it doesn’t mean this bond is rooted in respect or is always positive. I suppose that’s my worry, from that advert: you take away someone spends their life being quiet, walking on eggshells, having to apologise for existing - that’s not setting someone up for a healthy adult life, at all.

Working on the assumption that it’s fine because of the positives actually make it even more uncomfortable for me, because those positives are borne in views that are quite toxic to women.

It is probably less problematic in families where there is a boy and a girl and the girl is the one with autism, or two boys.

I know I’m saying things that are uncomfortable in themselves but I don’t think this means they shouldn’t be said.

kittensinthekitchen · 10/04/2023 09:21

NurseCranesRolodex · 10/04/2023 09:12

If its a real family the meltdown scenes massively compromise the yp's GDPR so doubt that aspect. It definitely seems to portray PDA though, which may be helpful as its so misunderstood.

Show quote history

What personal data did they give out against the yps consent? Confused

And which parts of the PDA criteria do you think were there? Has this young woman been diagnosed with PDA?

AgrathaChristie · 10/04/2023 09:23

That’s an ad for a cleaning product? It was on this morning, didn’t have my glasses on so couldn’t read the script at the end on small bedroom tv. I assumed it was for a mental health support charity.
Sorry, it went completely over my head.

Whatafustercluck · 10/04/2023 09:24

I think it's brilliant, and I totally understood the premise. I am currently washing the same items of clothing day in, day out, for my own 6yo dd. When she is anxious she has extreme tactile defensiveness (clothing) and also needs things to be the same. Having her favourite jumper dirty and in the wash completely ruins her day (and ours). So many similarities with my family's daily life - including the sibling walking on egg shells and having some natural resentment.

BoojaBooj2 · 10/04/2023 09:25

Autistic woman here, adult diagnosed.
Representation is great and all, but they just HAD to go with the trope of autistic people having special talents, eh? The girl’s clever and great at drawing. Yes I know she’s a real autistic girl but still.
Nobody cares about the rest of us who are shit at everything we touch.

gogohmm · 10/04/2023 09:27

@user1471530109

It's is so accurate it's uncanny. My dd2 had sent me the link yesterday. Dd1 (autistic) doesn't like they are selling things by tugging at heart strings. We think it's a useful portrayal of female autism

kittensinthekitchen · 10/04/2023 09:27

I don’t think anyone doubts siblings have a really strong bond, but like any relationship, it doesn’t mean this bond is rooted in respect or is always positive. I suppose that’s my worry, from that advert: you take away someone spends their life being quiet, walking on eggshells, having to apologise for existing - that’s not setting someone up for a healthy adult life, at all.

@Turquoisesilver

I disagree. I think it highlighted that siblings have complicated relationships, and that's no different with a sibling with autism. There is always going to be situations where they wind each other up, bicker and get upset but that, ultimately, whilst siblings can and do do things to 'get at' each other, but sometimes do the wrong thing, but they do have each others back.
It shows that mistakes can be made, and apologies can be made.

BoojaBooj2 · 10/04/2023 09:27

Turquoisesilver · 10/04/2023 09:20

I’m not intending to be unnecessarily argumentative here, but you did reply saying you were ‘disappointed’ with the comments on the thread, @user1471530109 and at that point there were only five posts (including the OP.)

I don’t think anyone doubts siblings have a really strong bond, but like any relationship, it doesn’t mean this bond is rooted in respect or is always positive. I suppose that’s my worry, from that advert: you take away someone spends their life being quiet, walking on eggshells, having to apologise for existing - that’s not setting someone up for a healthy adult life, at all.

Working on the assumption that it’s fine because of the positives actually make it even more uncomfortable for me, because those positives are borne in views that are quite toxic to women.

It is probably less problematic in families where there is a boy and a girl and the girl is the one with autism, or two boys.

I know I’m saying things that are uncomfortable in themselves but I don’t think this means they shouldn’t be said.

Lol I agree with you. In families with multiple autistic kids like mine (with conflicting needs) there is no NT sibling to pushover and shut up at the expense of the other :) so you do have to work hard to accommodate both.

As an autistic person it’s lucky I was an only child. I try hard as a mother because I have to. But the unwritten rule about autistic people it’s all about others ‘accepting and adapting’… nope the biggest problem is when there are lots of us in a room together.

Turquoisesilver · 10/04/2023 09:28

That wasn’t just winding up and bickering. That was one sibling completely controlled and dominated by the other.

AmericasfavoritefightingFrenchman · 10/04/2023 09:28

Tarantullah · 10/04/2023 09:16

I'm not sure why this advert has to be the best that can be done, why when a company sensitively and accurately depicts and gives a platform to an underrepresented and often misunderstood segment of society does it have to be a higher bar than other adverts? I don't see the issue with them 'blowing their own trumpet' either, some people like to choose which companies they spend their money on wisely, why shouldn't they promote that they have taken action to be more inclusive?

Show quote history

I think it shouldn’t really be an advert at all, to be honest. They could sponsor an awareness-raising campaign and just have a little logo at the end saying ‘sponsored by vanish in collaboration with ambitious about autism etc’ Then they get some credit but it’s not all about their (frankly rubbish) product. But the idea of leaving it to commercial forces to determine who is represented is pretty upsetting as a concept altogether.

Those awards make me suspicious because, without knowledge of those particular awards, I know that many such schemes depend on companies nominating themselves -ie thinking they’re great- rather than an objective body noticing them doing it well.

WinnipegDink · 10/04/2023 09:29

AgrathaChristie · 10/04/2023 09:23

That’s an ad for a cleaning product? It was on this morning, didn’t have my glasses on so couldn’t read the script at the end on small bedroom tv. I assumed it was for a mental health support charity.
Sorry, it went completely over my head.

Well that's a shame because reading your contribution I suspect you would have benefitted greatly from paying closer attention.

Turquoisesilver · 10/04/2023 09:29

I can see that @BoojaBooj2 Flowers

user1471530109 · 10/04/2023 09:29

Well you are being incredibly insensitive @Turquoisesilver . What would you like me to do with my two DDs? Send one away? My youngest is as sassy as they come. She doesn't have to apologise for existing. But she sure as hell knows how to accept other people for what they are. What a ridiculous comment someone who has no fucking clue.

You said you have 'some' idea. Before you trash my life any further, could you maybe tell us what your experience of this is?

kittensinthekitchen · 10/04/2023 09:30

BoojaBooj2 · 10/04/2023 09:25

Autistic woman here, adult diagnosed.
Representation is great and all, but they just HAD to go with the trope of autistic people having special talents, eh? The girl’s clever and great at drawing. Yes I know she’s a real autistic girl but still.
Nobody cares about the rest of us who are shit at everything we touch.

Yes, I must say the high ability at those subjects did wind me up a little.

I think they were clumsily trying to highlight the triggers and repercussions despite on some level this girl attaining well in some areas.

Whatafustercluck · 10/04/2023 09:32

Turquoisesilver · 10/04/2023 09:28

That wasn’t just winding up and bickering. That was one sibling completely controlled and dominated by the other.

Which is sometimes how it feels for a NT sibling living with a ND sibling. There was even a thread on here a few weeks ago about this.

Turquoisesilver · 10/04/2023 09:32

Well, obviously not @user1471530109 - you’re doing your absolute best, I am sure, just as the parents in the clip were. But I’m certainly not being insensitive because I’m saying things that are less than comfortable to read.

Growing up in a house where your needs come last and you’re at the bottom of the pecking order and you have to be quiet when someone else says so and you can’t have your own interests and grow as a person - but it’s made you kinder, more loving, more giving - it’s really not hard to see that’s massively setting someone up for huge problems navigating healthy relationships as an adult. It can’t not. I DON’T mean you - please don’t take as such, this is not a personal comment on you or your family. It’s a general point about how the sibling in that clip was portrayed.

EsmeSusanOgg · 10/04/2023 09:33

It made me cry. But I also really felt for the sister. Especially with the drums in the shared space! I'm autistic, and whilst it summed up lots of my teenage years... It also reminded me of how awful I was to my lovely younger sister when I was a teen.

Tessisme · 10/04/2023 09:34

That ad made me very emotional. My eldest (14) is awaiting ASD assessment. I don't see much that reflects him in the ad. In fact he's always been a fairly 'easy' child. But so much resonates in relation to my 10yo. He has diagnosed OCD. Autism has been briefly mentioned as something to look at, but I admit I have been somewhat sceptical.

Our mornings are very similar to those of the family in the ad. Certain rituals. Particular clothing. Absolute panic at the idea of his fleece onesie needing to be washed and possibly not being ready when he gets home from school. Dragging his heels getting ready, then huge anxiety at the thought of being late (especially if I have to go back into the house for my phone/bag etc) No school clothes can touch home clothes or he has a full on meltdown. This, however, is all relatively recent behaviour and may be 'just' OCD - or not - but, God, I did have a little cry at a Vanish ad!!

kittensinthekitchen · 10/04/2023 09:38

@Turquoisesilver

The sibling in the advert isn't being portrayed. These are real people. I'm sorry they're not doing autism in the right way for you.

Namechangeforthis189 · 10/04/2023 09:41

I really really really dislike it. I have two children with autism and learning disabilities, one of whom I can only dream of being as functioning as the girl in the advert.

It’s always the same ‘type’ of autism shown in these adverts. Functioning, quirky, with some difficulties meant to tug at the heartstrings but nothing too extreme. Show me an advert with a non verbal, incontinent fifteen year old who frequently eats mud, sand and frankly her own faeces then maybe I’ll change my mind.

They’re trying to be inclusive but only as far as what’s palatable for the general public. Autism goes much further than sensory issues regarding clothes. I’m fed up of only one specific subset of autism being shown.

FrancescaContini · 10/04/2023 09:41

WinnipegDink · 10/04/2023 09:10

Good God. Some of the responses on this thread. I think quite frankly if the ignorance displayed by some of the posters here demonstrates anything it's that this advert should be compulsory viewing, whether it's a sales advert or not.

And to the poster whose contribution is - if I want to know about autism in girls then I'll ask someone who knows - if you had already done that (asked someone who knows) then you'd likely understand the ad. You clearly haven't. Which is why IMO the advert is welcome.

These are our girls. It's important. And it's accurate. Watch it properly.

That was me, and I have already explained the context in which I saw the ad in the post just above this.

As a TV viewer who generally mentally switches off as soon as the ads come on (as I suspect many people do), why or how should I have any prior knowledge of the background of any particular ad when it pops up?

I don’t watch ads with the intention of educating myself; if I wanted to know about autism in girls, I would go to an obvious source of information, not pay attention to a 30-second ad put out by a company (whose primary aim is to increase profits) that sells washing detergent.

Now that I have the background information on the ad I will pay better attention the next time it pops up on TV. But discussion on this thread suggests that if a short ad requires a 3.5 minute long “backstory”, then the ad itself has failed in whatever it’s purporting to do.

Isanny · 10/04/2023 09:46

I feel like a whole family has been exploited. I think using autism to sell a product is distasteful. I think that if you want to 'show' what it's like being autistic or living with someone autistic the throwing lots of random snippets of their struggles together with very little context and showing fuck all good about the person is not the way to do it.

Mum to autistic DS and DD and autistic myself (since people are questioning whether people have girls or not)

PippaF2 · 10/04/2023 09:47

Why would it be weird for a commercial company to support a charity or campaign? Most commercial companies do and there are all kinds of adverts that point their chosen charity out.

Personally I thought the advert was really heart-felt. The siblings struggle was as real as anyone else's. She was angry but we can all sympathise with that anger.

I don't have an autistic family member and I felt like it opened my eyes. DH and I were left reeling - the overwhelming emotion being 'that looks really hard, and I don't know what the answer is' but now I can understand a little bit more when people talk about masking etc.

What I thought was really powerful is that they chose to depict a family with a child with milder autism. Someone in main stream school who on the surfacd seemed like a typical teenager.

I thought it was really well done.