Is my husband right to be embarrassed when I serve soup for lunch to guests

[MusicLass]

This is a bit of a long-running joke in our house, but underpinned by genuine feelings…

i like making soups from scratch (E.g vegetable, lentil, minestrone) and try to make them tasty, nutritious and filling. For some visitors I make soups for lunch or dinner, for the same reasons above, plus I can make them in advance and just reheat giving me more time to be attentive to guests. I also either bake or buy nice bread and butter to go with the soup. Something for pudding would be offered too.

DH gets embarrassed when I serve soup to guests, saying it’s not proper food and it’s not being hospitable. He would expect a pasta or rice dish round someone’s house, or meat.

He happily eats soup when it’s just us as a family.

AIBU to serve soup to guests? Or is he right? Generally he is more sensitive about social etiquette than me. He’s also from a Mediterranean culture, which could be a factor here.

Thanks for reading and helping us to settle this!

Soup and bread for la light unch is fine. Soup as the first course of a dinner/Sunday lunch is fine. I wouldn't serve soup as a main fir dinner though.

I would always serve the types of soup OP describes to guests with cold meat, cheeses and salad. Some people, particularly men, would not be full on soup and bread unless it was a chicken or seafood, or Asian soup with meat and eggs etc.

I make lot of soups myself because I WFH as they’re quick and easy to make and eat but I wouldn’t serve them to guests on their own.

I only have the recipe in Swedish in a magazine but it’s similar to this one: https://www.sourdoughandolives.com/2017/03/30/fish-soup-saffron/

I use white wine and peas in mine too and some fresh dill before serving.

Exactly! I would like to be served homemade soup if l went to someone’s house 🤷‍♀️. Last time we went to someone’s house for dinner they made soup and it was super tasty

@Fairislefandango i don’t think op is a chef. Mostly people that make soup at home are not chefs working in top kitchens in their jobs. Op made some lentil soup. It’s a cheap and easy soup to make.

I do soup for lunch for guests and for us at dinner but would do something more carby for dinner with guests. My husband is also mediterranean and it's taken 20 years for him to reach acceptance that soup is an accepted meal, in his country its a starter only

I would love it if someone offered me homemade soup for lunch! Especially if there was nice bread with it.

Now I really need to make some white onion soup!

Why isn't he cooking for guests ?

Do you say "come over, I'll do lunch" and give soup? That's pretty bad.

The Ivy one is amazing but I've never been able to recreate it. So smooth and tasty (and opaque, not like brown onion soup). Served with crispy bacon bits. We were gutted when they took it off the menu. You might have to post a photo so I can vicariously enjoy it.

Give me that over chunky 'filling' soups every time.

Soup for lunch with lovely bread and maybe some nibbles - lovely!

soup for dinner - would expect that as a starter but not main course.

but agree if he doesn’t like it - he can cook!

Lunch- absolutely fine.
Dinner-definitely not.

It would be fine as lunch for me but I doubt it’s enough for someone taller/ larger. It’s fine as a starter for dinner but really not a main meal. If you want something quick and easy maybe a casserole/ chilli type dish?

Sorry OP I agree with your husband,

If I was invited to someone’s for dinner and was served soup, I’d be a little surprised, but wouldn’t say anything - it’s nice to be cooked for whatever it is. Lunch absolutely fine.

My sister, who is very slim and has hollow legs, would probably order in food if you gave her soup for lunch, and she doesn't eat bread except as a rare treat.

Bloody lovely I say!!! My mother in law makes a wicked soup!!!

Soup is ok as a starter but I wouldn't specifically invite folk for lunch and just give them soup. It would be fine if they just happened to be here at lunchtime though.

Love soup for lunch, a firm favourite in this house is tomato soup with a cheese toastie. I'm just always really grateful when someone cooks for me so would be very happy with that, and a nice pudding too - delicious.

I doubt it’s enough for someone taller/ larger.

If course it would be. Some soups are extremely filling, and served with crusty bread and cheese it would fill anyone up if they ate enough. We aren't talking about consome and one thin slice of bread here.

I think some posters on this thread have never eaten a large bowl of thick, substantial soup before.

If I invited someone over for lunch I wouldn’t serve soup. As they’ve been invited for that meal, I’d want to serve something more substantial and special. I wouldn’t even note if someone else had invited me over for lunch and served soup though.

If I invited someone over for dinner, then soup would only be a starter or side dish. Even the heartiest soups aren’t dinner part foods, and I often eat more lightly on days I’m going to a dinner party in anticipation of more rich foods. I’d be pretty disappointed to just have a bowl of soup and some bread as a dinner guest.

If I had guests over for a weekend, I would happily serve soup as the lighter meal of the day. But not as dinner as it would be similar to the above situation.

And my view on how hearty and filling a soup is, is that there’s a reason that soup is widely seen as diet food. Soups like vegetable and lentil and minestrone, which the OP mentioned are hearty in the way they feel nourishing and warming, but a lot of that is high volumes of liquid and vegetables. It’s filling in the moment, but it’s not a very substantial meal. Looking at two recipes I’ve found on the internet for soup, the minestrone soup has 225 kcal per serving and a vegetable and lentil soup has 264 kcal. That’s not a lot, even with bread. There’s also the fact that a bowl of soup is largely the same flavours and textures throughout, so even if you increase the serving size, people are likely to get bored with the dish before they are truly satisfied so eat just enough to take the edge off their hunger.

For a light lunch I would serve it but definitely I wouldn’t serve it for a dinner if I invited guests , no matter how chunky or filling . I would serve it as an entree .

For just me and dh in winter I quite often make a very substantial, thick (non blended) soup for an evening meal. Typically it will contain lots of different veg plus one or more of red lentils/pearl barley/small pasta e.g.orzo. Always served with grated cheese.
Dh loves these soups but I wouldn’t serve them to guests unless they were unexpected and I didn’t have anything else.

Lovely. I would eat soup with or without bread and cheese every day, every meal. Delicious.

People feel very attached to a feeling of satiation rather than whether a meal is calorifically sufficient, though. This is a tough nut to crack for many.

As for having expectations of what a host is supposed to serve when being invited to someone's home for a meal feels quite rude to me. It is a gift of their time, energy and company.