Is my husband right to be embarrassed when I serve soup for lunch to guests

[MusicLass]

This is a bit of a long-running joke in our house, but underpinned by genuine feelings…

i like making soups from scratch (E.g vegetable, lentil, minestrone) and try to make them tasty, nutritious and filling. For some visitors I make soups for lunch or dinner, for the same reasons above, plus I can make them in advance and just reheat giving me more time to be attentive to guests. I also either bake or buy nice bread and butter to go with the soup. Something for pudding would be offered too.

DH gets embarrassed when I serve soup to guests, saying it’s not proper food and it’s not being hospitable. He would expect a pasta or rice dish round someone’s house, or meat.

He happily eats soup when it’s just us as a family.

AIBU to serve soup to guests? Or is he right? Generally he is more sensitive about social etiquette than me. He’s also from a Mediterranean culture, which could be a factor here.

Thanks for reading and helping us to settle this!

Until we find out why DH doesn’t cook himself, how can we know if it’s a partnership?

Isn’t every relationship supposed to be a partnership? Why would you deliberately keep making food one half of the partnership didn’t want you to make?

Soup is fine for lunch, but for dinner it's a starter

Well if I was invited round for dinner (so 7/8pm) I'd be a bit disappointed to be served soup, however if me and OH had another couple friend call round with a bottle for the evening, if I was served a small bowl of soup at 9pm and had biscuits or sweets to pick at I'd be delighted. Soup would be great for lunch too especially with homemade bread.
I guess the real point though is....here it comes....what does HE generally serve his guest?....thought so 🤔

If. Guests were coming to stay for a couple of days and I was feeding them multiple meals, one lunch would probably be soup and bread.

If friends came over for just lunch at the weekend, I’d probably cook the main meal of the day.

If a local friend who I see regularly popped round for a weekday lunch, I might do soup, if we regularly eat together.

If anyone gave it to me, I would be a bit surprised if it was a thing where myself and DH or the kids also were invited for a weekend lunch. When you’re invited like that, you normally expect a main meal. If it turned out to be soup, I’d enjoy it and obviously not comment.

Soup feels like the smaller meal of the day. Fine if you have guests for more than one meal or a mid-week snack lunch with a friend. Not really what you give friends who have come as a family and travelled a distance and who are just having one meal with you.

I think it is fine for lunch or dinner - even without fresh bread. Are you supposed to check what your guests want, I didn't realise that.

No, it's odd imo. I'd just invite people for lunch. I wouldn't ask them what they like and don't like in advance as though they were fussy toddlers

No, of course it isn't odd not to ask about what people like to eat. It is good hosting.

When we invite people round I always ask if there is anything I should avoid. Having vegetarian, vegan and nut allergic people in the family and a couple of coeliac friends does make me more careful and considerate about cooking for other people.

Why wouldn't you?

You wouldn’t just ask “Is there anything you particularly don’t like?”?

I wouldn't serve just soup unless it's a casual lunch. Certainly not for dinner.

Ugh soup. Just no. Soup and a sandwich for lunch at the very least. But soup is a starter not a whole meal. YABU.

Why would deliberately let one half of the partnership do all the cooking?

Surprised at the number of soup haters on here, and the number of posters who have never eaten a filling substantial soup, but only eaten thin watery "meal starter" soup.

Soup is absolutely fine for a casual lunch. I personally don't know anyone who would turn their nose up at soup.

You’d have to ask them. Anyway, we don’t know that he does.

Love soup I'd be happy with it any meal. But most see it as a lunch.

I would be happy with a filling soup (i.e. not consumme but with lentils, pulses, potatoes, pasta or whatever) bread butter perhaps a bit of cheese.

Sounds great.

That’s my whole point. No one knows because OP never came back.

I love homemade soup and would be delighted if I was given that for lunch or dinner. I also serve soup at lunch or dinner, although when I have guests I usually serve it with a cheeseboard to go with the bread.

Yep it's pretty good isn't it

No, not really…

Thanks everyone for your views, it has helped us settle the argument! It seems the consensus is it’s fine for lunch (but not Sunday lunch) with a cheese board and nice bread, but not for dinner. I have been clearly told!

For the additional questions:
DH is helpful and we are in a partnership in the home, I’m just a more experienced and efficient cook so we tend to default to me cooking when tight for time and he does other tasks. However, I do see him trying to expand his catering skills, especially for vegetarian dishes, which it’s great to have more variety in.

@MusicLass it's fine anytime in my book as long as it's followed by a luscious pudding! 😂 Glad you've settled your argument.

Glad this has been helpful OP!

I have seen soup served with some fabulous oval croutons, more like cheese on toast with rocket or spinach and mozzarella or feta or Parmesan.
Drizzled with a dark Pumpkin oil or a swirl of cream.
Up your game with the accompaniments and he will never complain again.

Wonderful, beenalongwinter! I am salivating at the thought. Soup like that is perfect for lunch, very filling. Soup as a starter is a smaller version.

I'd say fine for lunch not dinner

To me soup is a starter in a more formal setting such as when inviting guests. I also make my soups from scratch (not sure how it’s relevant). If it’s just us family and we aren’t too hungry or have planned a heavier dinner we may have soup only. But if I have invited guests over no way i’d offer only soup and bread.