Is my husband right to be embarrassed when I serve soup for lunch to guests

[MusicLass]

This is a bit of a long-running joke in our house, but underpinned by genuine feelings…

i like making soups from scratch (E.g vegetable, lentil, minestrone) and try to make them tasty, nutritious and filling. For some visitors I make soups for lunch or dinner, for the same reasons above, plus I can make them in advance and just reheat giving me more time to be attentive to guests. I also either bake or buy nice bread and butter to go with the soup. Something for pudding would be offered too.

DH gets embarrassed when I serve soup to guests, saying it’s not proper food and it’s not being hospitable. He would expect a pasta or rice dish round someone’s house, or meat.

He happily eats soup when it’s just us as a family.

AIBU to serve soup to guests? Or is he right? Generally he is more sensitive about social etiquette than me. He’s also from a Mediterranean culture, which could be a factor here.

Thanks for reading and helping us to settle this!

I am not a big fan of soup personally but homemade soup would be a lovely lunch for most people. Its not a dinner though imo, even with dessert. Maybe dh needs to step up to the cooker once in a while, instead of complaining.

Soup isn't a meal - it's a starter

Some soups are a meal. A watery soup isn't, but a thick vegetable soup with pasta in would be. If I had that for a starter I would be too full to eat anything else.

Why have all these posters appeared talking about dinner? The OP specifically said "lunch"

I presume you didn’t read OP’s opening post?
”For some visitors I make soups for lunch or dinner”

Of course soup with chunky bread or bread and cheese is a meal at lunch time.

The OP offered a pud as well. Just about every casual café offers soup and a sandwich as a lunchtime meal. Soup, bread and pud is a meal.

Soup, bread and cheese would be a lovely lunch
For dinner I'd expect a main meal,
DH could do that as he's embarrassed.

I’d be like “where’s the rest of it?”, ok for a starter but not your whole meal. I think soup is quite boring anyway, I’ve usually lost interest in it halfway through.

She also said dinner.

I agree with this. Do you offer soup to everyone so repeat visitors get soup every time they visit? If so, I’d mix it up a bit with other dishes.

tell me you didn’t read the op without telling me you didn’t read the op 😂

I find soup absolutely revolting. Do you ask if your guests like soup, or just assume everyone does?

I find soup absolutely revolting

All soup?
Do you only like dry food?
That is a rather melodramatic statement.

Yes all soup. Just hate soup. No drama!

I find soup absolutely revolting. Do you ask if your guests like soup, or just assume everyone does?

Surely you could ask the same question about literally any food a host decides to serve? Ewww - do you assume everyone likes cheese/chicken/tomatoes/cake/coffee etc?

A nice homemade soup with nice bread is perfectly acceptable for lunch. I’d be happy with that. Have to agree with your husband about dinner though. I’d expect something more substantial.

I would only have soup as a starter and wouldn't see it as an actual meal even if served with bread. I'd be disappointed to go to someone's house and be served soup for lunch. It's so basic. Also I am a vegan and have lost count of the amount of times someone has tried to serve me pea soup, onion soup etc etc completely forgetting the ham or chicken stock.

Those people who say their guests love their soups and are very complimentary - I think they are just being polite. They probably stop off for food after leaving your house.

I’d love this. Homemade soup with good bread is hard to beat.

I mean, yes, I absolutely would check if my guests actually liked what I was planning on serving them! Is that not just polite / considerate?

All the “Why doesn’t DH do the cooking if he doesn’t like it?” posters are missing the point. The OP posted and ran, so we have no idea whether they actually take turns in cooking or if he’s never so much as picked up a spatula. The point is that the OP has served soup to guests often enough for it to become a “running joke”, despite her husband having made clear he’d rather she didn’t. Who makes a point of doing something they know their partner doesn’t want them to do? I thought the whole point of being in a relationship is that it’s a partnership. Sometimes when I read Mumsnet it sounds like it’s just one long argument with endless oneupmanship. Why bother?

The “Well, I make an amazing soup with double cream, finest cognac, spices the likes of which you’ve never seen and unicorn tears” brigade are missing the point too. The OP made it perfectly clear that she makes soup because it’s easy and she can freeze it - so I think we can safely assume Endangered Condor snd Stardust Bisque is off the menu.

We’re not missing the point, because there is no point as OP didn’t return. Until we find out why DH doesn’t cook himself, how can we know if it’s a partnership?

@LuckySantangelo35 not sure why you're picking on me when plenty of other in the thread have similar opinions.

Because she pops up on literally every food-related thread and her posts are always bonkers. You’re obviously today’s target.

I mean, yes, I absolutely would check if my guests actually liked what I was planning on serving them! Is that not just polite / considerate?

No, it's odd imo. I'd just invite people for lunch. I wouldn't ask them what they like and don't like in advance as though they were fussy toddlers. I'd expect them to let me know if they had any allergies or intolerances. And I certainly wouldn't expto be consulted about the menu if I were invited to someone else's house for a meal.

According to Jilly Cooper in "Class" no gentleman eats soup at lunchtime. HTH.

I couldn’t sit round a table with everyone slurping soup.

I'm not sure any opinions should be based on Jilly Cooper...

I couldn’t sit round a table with everyone slurping soup.

The answer to that is probably only to have lunch with people capable of eating soup without slurping.