Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4

Original poster

To want to tell friend to stop spouting religion at me?!

87 replies

4GodSake · 08/04/2023 22:34

I have a very good friend who happens to have found religion about 5 years ago, she's married to a man she met at the church she attends and seems very happy which is great!

My issue is she will mention things to me when I see her sometimes, say she's prayed for me, send me messages with videos of sermons or links to social media posts about finding Jesus ect

She doesn't do this ALL the time I admit, just occasionally but I don't know why I just feel offended almost when she does it? She knows I'm not interested, I've told her before I struggle with the idea of religion and there being a God and that I personally don't believe in it.

AIBU to want her to just respect that and accept she's not going to change my mind with a YouTube video? AIBU to be insulted that she won't just accept what I believe in the same way I have her? I don't send her links to atheist speakers, for example, I don't see what the difference is.

Would I be unreasonable to rock the boat about this given that it's not super frequent but does piss me off when it happens?

OP posts:

maddy68 · 11/04/2023 08:33

Just tell her. She's your friend.

Holeinninetynine · 11/04/2023 08:47

mycoffeecup · 11/04/2023 07:49

You need to be blunt

"Sorry X, I've told you lots of times that I don't want to discuss religion. I'd rather you respect my decision and don't pray for me - if you insist on wasting your time by doing so then please don't tell me about it. If you can't stop talking about religion to me, it's going to be the end of our friendship"

A good answer.

I'm a Christian but I don't see it as my job to curate other peoples' souls, that's their responsibility !

Baldieheid · 11/04/2023 09:17

I suspect this would annoy the hell out of me, but if she's a good friend, I'd tolerate it up to a point. However, I'm sure she would know it was irritating me as I'm not good at hiding emotions. I'd hope she'd show a bit of social awareness and back off, as ultimately I'd probably snap at her. I'd also hope I'd have a talk with her before I snapped, as I wouldn't want to end our friendship. I'd find it suffocating if the behaviour is persistent and would, if she didn't back off from me, probably end up cutting her from my life.

moveoverye · 11/04/2023 09:20

ApplesandPares · 08/04/2023 22:54

When you say good news, are you thinking that believing people go to hell if they don’t believe, and sharing that with them is good news, or bad news?

Show quote history

😂

IrregularChoiceFan · 11/04/2023 09:29

4GodSake · 08/04/2023 22:57

If she wants to privately pray for me then I can't stop her. But just don't tell me about it

Show quote history

I agree OP, I don't want or need to be 'prayed for'. If people do this in private I can't do anything about it, obviously, but don't tell me! I don't like it and I don't want to know!

shieldmaiden7 · 11/04/2023 09:33

That would wind me up no end. Just tell her again, kindly but with no wiggly room, she needs to stop or you'll need space.

Butitsnotfunnyisititsserious · 11/04/2023 09:41

I'd just tell her she needs to stop. That you aren't interested and have asked her to stop saying she is praying for you. If she cannot respect the boundaries you set, then cut her off. It's incredibly rude to keep banging on about religion if someone asks you to stop.

MasterBeth · 11/04/2023 09:54

MissTrip82 · 11/04/2023 03:47

Or she could live such an amazingly good and loving life that people naturally want to follow her example and find out more.

Quite a lot more difficult to live as a Christian than talk as one though.

Show quote history

Anyone can live a good and loving life without all the superstitious nonsense about god.

Exhibity · 11/04/2023 12:27

MasterBeth · 11/04/2023 09:54

Anyone can live a good and loving life without all the superstitious nonsense about god.

Show quote history

Some of the most awful people I've met have been 'Christians'

TheWelshposter · 11/04/2023 13:18

PurpleBugz · 08/04/2023 22:50

I think it's reasonable to ask her not to send videos etc. tell her you know you can come to her with questions if you have them but prefer not to have the religion pushed at you.

But as a Christian myself I can say she's not gonna stop prying for you. Try not to get offended when she says it. It's a bit like saying she was thinking of you? It's not a bad thing

I find it offensive...it's like being told that you're a bad person, such a bad person that they don't want you to go to hell. Isn't that what they're trying to do, "save you"?

SeeWhatYouGetWhenYouAskAStupidQuestion · 11/04/2023 13:20

You could just tell her, quite plainly, that you don't want her to send you any religious videos etc, as you're a nonbeliever and don't share her views. If she continues, send her the Ricky Gervais clip about religion.

Frabbits · 11/04/2023 13:21

This would irritate the tits off of me, including having someone "pray" for me because I don't fit into their narrowminded view of what is moral behaviour or not.

Flip

1 2 3 4