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Original poster

DH and gaming - is this normal?

93 replies

Slitherie · 07/04/2023 20:23

DH is obsesssd with an online game. He plays on it every night after work until 7pm and then again from 10pm until midnight.

On days when he isn’t at work (like today) he’ll play on it all day until I natter him enough to get off it.

Today I was waiting for him as we had to go out. Started asking him at 9am. 11:30am he’s still sat on that fucking game. We eventually manage to get out after I stand next to him with my shoes on and car keys in hand until he turned it off.

We got home at 12:30 - straight back on the game. I went to do some decorating, I came down at 4:30 to find he hasn’t even fed the dogs despite them both complaining at him. I do that. 5pm I tell him i need the PC - he says he needs another half hour.

I eventually get on pc at 5pm … at 6pm he’s back asking me if he can go back on. I go and make dinner whilst he’s on his game. We eat dinner together at 7pm. As soon as dinner is finished he’s back on his game. He’s been on it all fucking day!!!

We had planned to watch a film … I’m sat here with the title screen on pause waiting for him. He keeps saying he’s “nearly finished”.

Would you tolerate this? To add contact, he does work full time.

OP posts:
ScreamingInfidelities · 07/04/2023 20:25

My husband is a gamer in his spare time but not to this extent! No way would I be putting up with this!

Pintsizedblondie197 · 07/04/2023 20:25

Do you have kids?

Sillybanana · 07/04/2023 20:25

No I wouldn’t, I’d be really irritated.

Sillybanana · 07/04/2023 20:26

Don’t have kids with this guy!

Bemyclementine · 07/04/2023 20:27

Good god no. This would drive me mad.

What game is it?

housemaus · 07/04/2023 20:28

Nah. Both DH and I game, DH more so than me. This is excessive - I wouldn't be happy if DH was letting it affect everything in our day to day like this, and vice versa. When do you spend quality time together?

There've been times where both of us have been distracted and 'oops sorry just finishing' but not regularly.

Eventysaurus · 07/04/2023 20:29

I like gaming but this is excessive. Hope there's no kids involved

TomatoSandwiches · 07/04/2023 20:29

No it's not normal, very unhealthy and I wouldn't be having children with him if that's something you had planned on.
It sounds similar to living with an addict.

blebbleb · 07/04/2023 20:29

My husband games quite a lot but not the detriment of our relationship. Do you have kids? I wouldn't recommend having them while he's this absent.

Original poster
Slitherie · 07/04/2023 20:29

No kids (all grown up)

OP posts:
batsandeggs · 07/04/2023 20:30

Absolutely not. Love a good hubby, love seeing the people I love passion about about things - but this in an obsession, not a hobby.

Original poster
Slitherie · 07/04/2023 20:30

I’ve pressed play on the film, watching it on my own

OP posts:
washinwashoutrepeat · 07/04/2023 20:31

I have this but with a game he can play on mobile. Even got several of our close friends on it, so now when we get together, they all hang out and discuss it.

I keep joking about how I will be using this when I file for divorce...

Businessflake · 07/04/2023 20:31

You put DH but surely you mean DS (of teenage years)?

MorehouseplantsPls · 07/04/2023 20:32

Me and DH both avid gamers. Not to this extent though.

We only play on PS5 when everything else done, nothing else happening, kids in bed etc…

WulyJmpr · 07/04/2023 20:32

Sounds like the beginnings of gaming addiction

hollyivysaurus · 07/04/2023 20:33

My DH is a gamer and absolutely no way would I be happy with that. He plays games in the evenings, weekend afternoons and on days off (we have small children). Pre-kids he played more at weekends but would always be up for going for a walk, going out for lunch or watching a film. I don’t see computer games as an issue in the slightest (I know some on here do), but any hobby that takes over to that extent is an issue!

IrregularChoiceFan · 07/04/2023 20:35

I'm never complaining about dp's gaming again! This is absolutely not normal OP! I couldn't live like this.

theGooHasGone · 07/04/2023 20:35

Games can be very addictive and he's clearly not prioritising appropriately. I also like to game, but make sure to work hard during the day to finish everything that needs doing so I can play for a few hours in the evenings.

Some days I'd like to be lazy and do nothing but play all day, but I'm not single any more and I have responsibilities. It's part of growing up and I've accepted that. It sounds like he needs to figure it out.

MathsNervous · 07/04/2023 20:37

I have a DH who is a bit like this but with a game on his mobile phone. It's bloody annoying. Has to just "finish this bit". Grr.

Rummikub · 07/04/2023 20:40

My exh was like this. As soon as he got up and up late playing his stupid game.
To be fair I’d get a lay in on the weekend while he had the dc- but I’d come down to find chaos as he’s ignored the dc to play his game.

I’m interested in the responses as I was made out to be unfair!

Hiddenvoice · 07/04/2023 20:40

My husband is a gamer but he wouldn’t do that. He will play if he has spare time and we aren’t doing anything but if he knew we were going out or going to watch a film then he’d put that first.

Personally, I’d be speaking to him and asking what is so fascinating with the game that he doesn’t want to stop playing.

TheSproutOfWrath · 07/04/2023 20:41

Oh no. Not another COD widow? It's shit isn't it.

YouJustDoYou · 07/04/2023 20:43

My kids don't behave like this, it would irritate the absolute fuck out of me if they did but to have a husband doing it is just really, really sad. You have no relationship. And I would NOT be sat around waiting for him, I'd just go out.

WunWun · 07/04/2023 20:43

I wouldn't like it and would never get into a relationship with a gamer these days. You can't really tell people what to do though. I'd tell him how it was making me on feel and that I didn't really want to live my life with someone shut in another room every spare second of the day.