Housing dilemmas & rejecting offer

[worldcupfan]

Hello everyone,

I have posted about this before and I'm going to ask MHQ to remove the thread after as it is very identifying. But I am having second thoughts of accepting a council flat offer and I'm worried about the repercussions if I accept. In any case, I will have to let the council know my decision by next week.

To give a background. My 12 year old DS and I currently live in a very very small 1 bed private accommodation due to fleeing DV many many moons ago. We have been on the council list for approx.10 years. We have a direct offer (because another person friend it down) for a council property. It is like a terrace flat (?) it has three floors. I've been going back and forth with my decision but I think I am going to decline. Here are my reasons;

1. The flat just has stairs. There's no landing ( apart from the hallway) as soon as you go up the stairs, you go straight into a room. The walls going up to to the stairs are quite narrow- almost like a claustrophobic feel. (however, the rooms are big). But the bathroom is all the way downstairs and is very small.

2.After you accept a property, you have 4 weeks to move in. There is no flooring, or anything, the property is very bare and in need of repairs . I am concerned about the costs, considering that DS is Autistic and has horrendous meltdowns and flooring and soundproofing is my concern. For example, if I wanted to have carpet to reduce noise, where do I put this? In the landing, living room, stairs and the bedrooms? What about laminate as I cannot afford to put carpet and sound proofing in every room.

1. I am worried about the security of the housing. For example, the bedrooms are un the top floor and the front door is three floors down. I am currently going through the court process as DS's dad is requesting access to see his DS. I am worried about my ex founding out where we live. DS travels to some places on his own (school and to the local shops). If DS's dad has access, I'm worried that his dad may follow him home and would find out where we live- or worse DS will tell him (as he looks up to his dad and doesn't try to defy him).

Therefore, I'm at loss with security measures. I have never lived in a flat like this before and worry this is compromising with my safety (whereas if you are in a communal flat with others, there's a secure communal door and a range of flats). If DS dad knew where we live, he would not be able to guess which flat we live on.

1. In my heart. I think the flat would just be too much for me to handle alone. I am used to live in a flat with rooms all in one level.

Please let me know if I'm going the right thing. It's so easy for my friends and family to say "take it take it" but not really taking my situation into concern.

You may well be able to get funding for flooring and some furniture. In my area it comes under a community care grant and I was given carpets for the main rooms, lino in the kitchen / bathroom, basic white goods and beds for dc. You need to ask what happens if you turn it down. In my area you get three goes and then you’re off the list (I said no to the first property as it had internal stairs and I’m disabled, then said yes to my ground floor flat, although the area isn’t the best). Get the information then you can better make your decision.

It's a house conversion. But it's split into two flats. I'm on the upper floor, the neighbour is downstairs. The flat inside has three floors. When you go up each step there is a room and so on and so forth. No landing on the stairs apart from the hallway.

Amazed so many councils let you decline 3 tbh mine if you are priority you can’t decline any without a very good reason (no carpet wouldn’t be a good reason) if you decline without good reason you are seen as not needing to be moved urgently and priority taken away. The op already had a very long thread about this so not sure why she made a new one rather than just updating that thread

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4770423-aibu-to-turn-down-council-property?page=7&reply=1251990

you have been waiting 10 years and said you was taking it on the other thread 🤔

She also said both of those things on this thread.

I decided to take it (in my head- did not let the council know) but I have to give a final decision by next week. I have had a hard long think and I don't think I'm going to take it.

If you take this one, would you not then be in a better position to do a swap for another council property that suits your needs better? Your not perfect may be someone else's dream, especially with bedrooms on the top floor.

I think you will find more issues with a flat in a block as the noises & smells can travel above (& below if not GF) which your DC may also find a struggle. While it may seem safer having communal entrance people can follow another resident in or pretend to be delivering and ask neighbour to buzz in etc. With own door to street likely to have passers by or near neighbours who will check out of windows & call police if hear a disturbance, in block flats it would usually require leaving your flat to see what's going on.

You will just get used to the flat layout and with just you & DC it probably won't cause issue that stairs go directly into rooms. The stairs will likely not seem as oppressive when you use them daily, maybe they need extra lighting or brighter paint to help give a more spacious feel.

When friend got a council house they were only given 2 opportunities to turn down place after viewing and then the council would put to back of queue in future. You will always have timing issue with sorting the flooring and decorating pre -move with council properties although a month is actually generous if there are repairs that mean it's not habitable like boiler or electrics then they likely won't charge rent but still have access so it can be beneficial. Friend got vouchers for decorating equipment/paint as deemed in poor condition. There was a charity via council that helped with white goods too so you may find they is some funding to help.

Carpet was cheapest option for flooring per metre when I last looked and laminate can increase noise but you could also use carpet offcuts, big rugs or those foam flooring tiles as temporary option. I think that one of main differences to private rentals as they usually have flooring and in better decorative order, when I last rented anyway standards may have dropped with higher demand now.

So why make another? The thread was 7 pages long did she not have enough opinions 🤣

I don’t know if someone else has said this but no matter what property you accept with the council it won’t have any carpets but you can get a grant to help with the cost of decorating.

@OhMyCherriePie

Sorry. I thought to save the trouble of PP's reading the previous thread- I would just create a new one.

As PP you can look to swap properties & council area after become an assured tenancy which was only a year.

Go for it.
No carpet is normal. Odd layout will be normal after a few days,

I think I would take it in your shoes. No property is going to be perfect, but it sounds decent overall - and who knows when you’ll be offered another option, and if so there’s a risk it could be a property with even more downsides.

@ScattyHattie

Thank you for your post. That is very true. I'm not sure about what happens if you decline a property. They were so quick to take me off the list when they thought I accepted the property outright. But told them that I wanted to have a think before accepting and not to take me off the list.

I think OP is just very worried I can imagine how that feels. Do you have friends or family who could have a look with you? Take some pictures? I would feel exactly the same as you OP. So if you stayed in the 1 bed how would it work? I take it your child has the bedroom and you gave a sofa bed? Are you happy there aside from the lack of space?

So do you envisage staying on your 1 bed forever or do you think/hope the next council offering will be better?

It sounds like your anxiety is running away with your fears.

Once in the council property you could apply for an exchange?

That sounds like an isea OP you could check that out on Tuesday maybe find out your options? If you only had a year or so in it you might feel able to cope?

I live in a split level flat with my own front door and I wouldn't trade it to go back to living with a communal stair well and shared front door where neighbours leave stuff clogging up the stairs, they're poorly maintained, smell of whatever your neighbours are cooking for dinner, and the noise echoes every time some one talks in the hall or slams their front door. It's bliss having your own front door! That said, my bathroom is on the same level as my bedrooms but i've lived in a terraced house that had the bathroom downstairs at the back of the kitchen and we managed fine.
Laminate floor is no cheaper than carpet. Get yourself along to one of the big carpet retailers this weekend, there's bound to be a bank holiday weekend offer on and they should easily be able to fit within 4 weeks if you buy something that's in stock.

If you refuse you will be kicked off the list. All council properties come without carpets. You can't allow ur son to keep living in a 1 bedroom flat.

IKEA rugs are very very reasonable and could be a medium term problem to the flooring issues. Or even Facebook marketplace.

I agree that your current set up is unsustainable for you both and you should take this flat.

I can understand your worries though, but I think this is a better option as you’re unlikely to offered anything else x

It is really difficult to say whether this is a good move or not without seeing the flat. Not sure how it is classified as a flat if it's on 3 levels. And if its on three levels you wont be above or below anybody. You will have to decide if its better than where you are living now or not. I agree you sound scared of change which is perfectly understandable.,

They are all just telling me to take it, that I have been waiting such a long time and that DS is getting older. Yes I sleep on the sofa and DS has my room. The lack of space is a very big issue but at the same time, I don't want to move into a property where I would be worst off.

I am hoping the council will offer somewhere better but I don't know how long that will be or if we would find that all rounder flat.

It's a house which they have split into two flats.