This "mother's" action seem cruel, that poor little girl

[Mylittlefanny]

I do believe that kids need firm boundaries. But refusing to let a grieving toddler into your bed at night after her dad died! Those poor kids look so unhappy. There is being firm and being cruel. 😭 That bit honestly made me so upset. I agree about chores, cooking and cleaning. But gloating to your kid and leave him shivering without a camping bag! Sorry 😐 that's not on. I wonder what her kids will feel like when they are older! And yes I do read the daily mail as despite some of the celeb shit they publish. They also occasionally do interesting stories and cover issues many other newspapers don't.

I'm such a strict mother, a parent reported me to social services mol.im/a/11942993 via https://dailym.ai/android

That's exactly what I thought, except the bit about your parent.

She sounds positively gleeful, it's abhorrent.

'It's not my job to make them happy' why would you not want your kids to be happy?!

'They supported each other' when their Dad died. I'll bet they fucking did - doesn't sound like there was any support coming from her. More like she didn't mourn him so didn't want them to.

They all look absolutely miserable. Unsurprisingly.

I’m a girl guide leader, I’ve also helped at scouts. We always have spare sleeping bags in case someone vomits, spills a drink, wets the bed etc. I wonder whether the poor lad just didn’t think to mention he didn’t have a sleeping bag to a leader as he was so used to adults not helping him, he didn’t see the point. A bit like neglected babies who don’t cry as no one ever comes to see to them. It’s awful.

But refusing to let a grieving toddler into your bed at night after her dad died!
You’re misreading this, but it’s the daily fail is it’s written terribly.

They have suffered some difficult hurdles already, including my separation from their dad in 2012 when they were just five, three and two, followed very sadly by his death five years later.
Dad passed when 2 year old was 7.

After our split, Heather, then two, would creep into my bed at night.

Not that it makes a blind bit of difference to me. A toddler that age needs comfort through the night anyway imo, let alone when normal life has been shaken up.

It’s abhorrent the way she text the teenager to say his sleeping bag looked cosy in the hall. That isn’t teaching any sort of lesson, that’s just running it in his face, abusive sort of tactics. And what sort of organisation would allow a child to sleep in freezing conditions with no sort of warmth?

None of the children look happy. She’s got sort of a point about building resilience but this isn’t the way to do it.

I find it weird that she relished with delight the thought of her son sleeping in sub zero temperatures, while she was under the warmed up/electric blanket. Weirdo!

She sounds horrible. Imagine her as a MIL. It’s very telling the only photo of the children smiling is with their late father. They’ve had a shitty upbringing imo.

Yep I think their faces tell it all in the photos without dad.

If you are sad or scared you won't be comforted.
If you need help (in this case getting the sleeping bag) I won't have your back you have to help yourself.
If you are sick your health doesn't matter, push through it.

Hope when she is alone and old reality hits her.

As a scout leader (which I was) I would always have spares, but I'd also expect a parent to have ensured their child is properly equipped. My concern with this situation is whether the child has been conditioned by his mother to not mention that he has no sleeping bag. As for sending a photo - words fail me

I wonder if he was given a sleeping bag but just told her he wasn't, to avoid her being cross her 'lesson' hadn't worked. I really really hope so.

She does seem to fail to appreciate the difference between 'never letting your child experience the slightest difficulty and discomfort' (I agree, that is a bad thing) and 'insisting your children endure and push on through genuinely hardship' (also bad).

The vast majority of parents are quite capable of striking this balance to a degree that won't cause problems for their kids. This article seems like a good way to raise kids who have no boundaries for unacceptable treatment because they assume everything has to be endured no matter the cost, or else you're a wimp.

Yeah it’s disgusting behaviour

Hands up for reading the time line wrong about the little girl. But still comforting your own child as far as I'm concerned does not have an age limit. Maybe how you do it's different. But when a child / adult is unwell or emotionally vulnerable or upset they tend to regress a bit and need that human contact, from their parent, care giver partner. Unless of course you grow up without that secure bond and seek love and attention in unhealthy ways. 😐

TBH she lost me at “I sent my son camping and didn’t take back his sleeping bag”. Meaning he’ll be freezing at night.

The way I see it is, if that mum had gone camping and realised half way there she’d forgotten her sleeping bag I can’t imagine she’d punish herself and carry on without it. She’d go back. As would anyone giving her a lift. Humans forget things sometimes. I left the house twice this morning and went back because I forgot things. It seems odd to punish human error when you could instead be a decent human and mum and ensure your child isn’t freezing cold at night.

Im certainly not a ‘gentle parent’ let them do whatever they like whenever kind of mum but there’s a balance. And I agree with a PP who said that strict parenting makes anxious children afraid to mess up and more prone to hiding things from their parents.

Wow. What a heartless bint!!

My mum was just like the one in this article, and I know as was her mum before her. I promised myself when I was a parent that I’d never be like that and I’ve stuck to it, I’ve never molly coddled my children but I’ve always gone out of my way to make sure I’ve shown them extra love, been extra gentle whilst still disciplining when needed, not raising them in a home with shouting etc! It’s been hard because I was never shown how to do those things but I know my kids will grow up better people than I ever did. I was an anxious, angry, insecure, hurt child and I’m still like that as an adult.

I’m a Guide leader and feel the same - we wouldn’t think about keeping a child who didn’t have a sleeping bag

You have to learn how to parent don't you! As my therapist once said. Do everything the opposite of your own!

One of the mothers at my kids' school got divorced when they were maybe 7 or 8, she would laugh when she retold how they'd come crying to her in the night, wanting to sleep next to her after dad left and she told them "no way! This is my bed! Back to yours!". The two kids are now several years older, quiet, well-mannered children, but....very closed off. They get on with things on their own, because they know they can't go to mum for comfort, so just rely on themselves.

I'm an adult who had the same kind of upbringing, learned I could only rely on myself for "comfort", learned not to go to other people for advice, or hugs, or anything like that. Took me a long time to learn I could actually lean on people sometimes, and that that was okay.

*Waiting for her kids to turn up on the stately homes thread in a decades time........

That's what I was thinking.

It may have happened anyway,.but I'm sure th kids will tell to sort any issues she has in old age herself.

I read that article this morning and thought two things. One) was that they look unhappy in all the photos (except the one where they’re young and just with their dad) and Two) They probably behave because they’re scared of their mum (I don’t mean she’s violent but she cuts them no slack).

There’s giving your children boundaries but she seems authoritarian to me. How anyone can just put their two year old back to their own bed when their dad died is just f*cked up nastiness. Most of the DM comments were applauding her as mum of the century m, which personally I didn’t agree with, I think she looks a mean cow.

I bet this is what happened. And I rather suspect she knows he would have been given one too!

It's just sensationalist claptrap and I don't believe a word of it. They're paid to shock and offend - just like a comedian stands up and tells life stories, take it all with a pinch of salt.

I also thought bet the leaders will have sorted a bag on top of dealing with everything else. So Mum was just pushing issue onto a volunteer.
We had a Guide arrive no sleeping bag - despite me asking her before we set off as I was suspicious her bag was too small. She assured us she had it. Meant we had to sort it on top if everything else, you can’t leave a child to freeze as a leader.

Okay, read it was after parents separated but makes no difference. She’s still a cow.

Some of her practices are probably ok - it's good for children to have chores and I think as a single mom it would be hard to keep the home organised if the children don't pitch in. Letting kids co-sleep can be comforting for them in short-term situations but they can easily get into the habit and then it can be really difficult to break that habit, which again could be really stressful for a parent, especially a single parent.

On the other hand, some of her practices sound problematic. Allowing her son to go to the camping trip in below zero temps without his sleeping bag, was simply dangerous. I would have no respect for a parent who allowed that. She should have immediately checked with the adult supervisors to ensure there was a spare he could use, and turned around and driven back to give him his sleeping bag if there was not.

Calling your child a "wuss" and saying that "average" is a dirty word, is a bad strategy as it could lead to children who see themselves as superior and who treat others badly. Anytime you link a behavior to someone's worth as a human being, I think that is going to cause problems down the line.

I haven't read the study on "overprotective" parents and their children but I think there are a lot of possible explanations for such findings. I'm very protective of my child who has food allergies because any little slip could kill him (he has an extremely severe allergy). He may die earlier than other people, but if he did, it would likely be because of his allergy or his asthma. There are lots of possible confounding factors in those types of studies.