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AIBU?

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Original poster

Is carry on a pregnancy without support from the father selfish?

107 replies

Namefonow · 06/04/2023 09:56

Name changed for this. Apologies.

If a man is clear that he does not want to have a child, is it selfish for the woman to carry on with the pregnancy?

I know I haven’t provided many details but complete accident. Not a new relationship.

OP posts:
MeinKraft · 07/04/2023 09:54

He sounds like a complete fuckwit. Honestly I would end the pregnancy, end the relationship and enjoy the rest of your life not being involved with this absolute cock ever again.

missmollygreen · 07/04/2023 10:01

herlightmaterials · 06/04/2023 10:12

No it isn't. It's selfish to have sex with a woman knowing that you'd expect her to have a termination if birth control fails. That's not a reasonable expectation and if you can't think you'd rise to the occasion you should abstain.

Bullshit, if you are using birth control it is because you dont want to fall pregnant

Grumpi · 07/04/2023 10:07

Lol @ 50% custody. As if. That tells you everything you need to know.

“I don’t want this baby and won’t support you….

but if you have it then I will punish you by making demands and threats to emotionally manipulate and control the situation”

Doesnt sound much of a Christian does he?

OP if you want this baby then have the baby. If you don’t want a termination then that is the decision made. End the relationship and get some mental space from this man, then you can decide how to proceed free from guilt and manipulation.

if he continues in the vein of making life difficult and being supremely unkind, then I absolutely would not be putting him on the birth certificate.

Children absolutely deserve both parents but that doesn’t necessarily include arsehole manipulators who will happily have sex but not maturely accept the consequences

Grumpi · 07/04/2023 10:10

missmollygreen · 07/04/2023 10:01

Bullshit, if you are using birth control it is because you dont want to fall pregnant

Show quote history

Sure, but no BC is 100% other than abstinence. So if you’re having sex then you are taking a chance that it will end in pregnancy.
The choice to continue / end a pregnancy is 100% the woman’s choice, therefore as a man if you absolutely do not want a child then you should abstain. The choice does not sit with the man.

coeurnoir · 07/04/2023 10:29

If you aren't living together and your children haven't been part of a blended family yet, then is bringing another child into the mix now really a good idea?

I don't know. It's your life, your body....but it does seem a bit selfish of both of you to not give the existing children a chance to get used to step parents and living together 🤷‍♀️

Original poster
Namefonow · 07/04/2023 12:49

Thank you all again for your words of wisdom yesterday.

Onwards and upwards today. Our business is now for sale and I need to write a CV for the first time in many years. No point dwelling on what could have been as I genuinely think everything happens for a reason.

OP posts:
2022again · 07/04/2023 13:22

Namefonow · 07/04/2023 12:49

Thank you all again for your words of wisdom yesterday.

Onwards and upwards today. Our business is now for sale and I need to write a CV for the first time in many years. No point dwelling on what could have been as I genuinely think everything happens for a reason.

best of luck OP and I hope life deals you kinder cards in the future.

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