To ask if you've experienced reactions like this( tantrums basically from adults)when you have suddenly decided to have decent boundaries?

[malificent7]

When explaining to fiance's ex that she wasn't coming to our wedding ceremony, only the after party, she stopped talking to me for a good few months and is still off with me now.

When explaining to my friend that now my dd is a teen she choses her own friends nowadays rather than play with her dd ( who was mean to my dd). Apparently my dd is horrid...much stomping and bleating.

Why are people so entitled?

I think I have been a people pleaser forever and now, mid 40s I suddenly want boundaries and people do not like it at all.

Luckily my dd has superb boundaries as we can see above and I applaud her.

Any other examples please welcome!

I'm with @pinkySilver

There's quite a few examples on this thread of posters thinking they are putting in boundaries when they're actually having a strop about not getting their own way 😂

I don't think distancing yourself is having a tantrum though...it's protecting yourself from hurt. I'm talking actual huffing and puffing.

So for example, ex would blank me even when I said hi and visibly huff, puff and pull faces to her dp. Why not just grey rock if she's putting in boundaries? I just don't react and give her space.

Friend with child would start whining and pushing. Not gonna work sunshine. I stay polite but firm....no rudeness necessary.

And as for my dad i don't want the money...it just really hurt that he'd been keeping tabs . Like instead of being happy for me like the rest of my family, he had to stick the boot in about being "expensive."

I work ft and got a mortgage without help.

Yeah... my in-laws are like this.

Had a tantrum over our wedding because we said we were getting married quietly and they were welcome to join us but it was low-key (registry office / lunch at a restaurant). Apparently DH wasn't desperate enough to have them there and didn't show enough enthusiasm.

Had a tantrum when DH didn't visit them for a few weeks while I was having a complicated miscarriage involving a hospital stay and recovery (they live four hours away).

Had a tantrum because they thought they knew better than DH how to manage his and DSD's relationship with DSD's mum's family (DSD's mum passed away several years ago).

I am exhausted just thinking about them. Have had to enact strict boundaries.

By 'tantrum' I mean sending rude and abusive messages telling DH he is a bad person, and constantly demanding he justify all his choices to them.

Why on earth would you invite an ex to your wedding anyway??

Your post reminded me of our wedding. When sending the invitations out, BIL had split up from his girlfriend a good while prior after a lot of back and forth - they have 1 child together - and was casually seeing (aka shagging) other women. We were pleased as the now ex-girlfriend was a nasty piece of work, physically violent towards him and lots of mental abuse to boot. So we didn't invite her to the wedding.

As soon as the invitations landed on doormats, MIL kicked off saying that BIL's ex should be invited, and if we didn't, she wouldn't be coming to the wedding either!

Guess who got told to fuck around and find out 😂 and yep... MIL duly came in the end when she realised how utterly ridiculous she sounded. Oh and not that it should matter but they didn't pay a penny towards the ceremony/reception anyway so she couldn't pull the 'I paid for this so I get a say' card.

ex is invited as apparently we are " all one big happy family" see...no boundaries!

My so called best friend whom I used to be at her beck and call decided she was visiting 6 weeks after I’d had a baby and lost my grandmother. Expected me to drop everything after ignoring my messages about my grandmother passing away suddenly along with the birth of my son. I said sorry I couldn’t meet her at that moment as I had just woken from a nap with baby. She deleted and blocked me from everything.

I don’t speak to the majority of my family now because of their entitlement, when I have been tackled over it by the flying monkeys, I’ve explained this to them and have been met with more entitlement.

Much better now thank you. Recovery has been very tough but I'm extremely lucky.