To not really like small children despite having one?!

[Sadmadsleepy]

Just that really. Feel the stereotype is that we all love babies and little’uns. I was never overly keen on them pre motherhood, and haven’t found that’s really changed.

I can see the cute side a bit more, like when it makes me think of my own DD at that age, and am much more confident in knowing how to interact with them and keep them alive if needed! However, the mini-person maternal urge seems to be turned off in me. With the exception of my own child lol; my liking just doesn’t extend beyond her.

Ironically, I work in a child-focused industry, but this is with school-aged children and I have no issue with that/ do actually like young children…just can’t see past the crying, crazy, snot-filled hooligans they are when very small to find the joy in them at that age!

Is this weird? Any others just not baby/toddler people but still like children overall?!

With the exception of my own child lol; my liking just doesn’t extend beyond her.

I am exactly like this. I do not find any other children appealing - but think my own are absolutely marvellous. Must be a very specific maternal instinct, I suppose!

YANBU other people's children are annoying (lighthearted before anyone jumps on me) but yeah I get it

on Mumsnet it seems de rigueur to despise all children aside from one's own.

I feel exactly the same. I like my own baby, he's boring yet adorable but I still feel uncomfortable around other babies and hate it when I'm expected to go ga ga over a baby just because I have a vagina or even worse, someone offers me to hold their baby and then look cross when I politely decline.

This attitude is surprisingly common so I think yanbu, but I am not like that myself and do like little ones.

I do think it's nice to be friendly to little children though, as I remember when I was tired out with tiny ones, it made my day if someone made a bit of a fuss of my DCs. Usually it was older women and sometimes men, who had been there themselves years ago. I think it's quite natural to go out of your way to look after small children in little ways like that when you no longer have any.

So I do find it a little unusual when people who have DCs don't actually like small children. But it isn't a big deal or a hanging offense or anything, so I wouldn't worry about it too much

Thank you for the replies. Glad I’m not alone - hadn’t realised disliking other people’s kids was a Mumsnet common stance lol - always feel like a cold, meanie in real life!

I never really understood this. I loved my grandparents very much, doesn't mean I love all elderly people. Some kids, like people of any age, are more endearing than others. No reason to expect you are drawn to any group of people because of their age.

I do not like babies AT ALL with the exception of my own.

Now DS is nearly 4 though, I quite like his feral little buddies, but then, he does tend to make friends with children who are like him. I think that helps.

The only young children I actually know are my nephews and well yeah I last about 15 minutes before I’m just miserable tbh. Voice is like nails on a chalkboard. I guess their general behaviour problem doesn’t help either but yeah.

Id never ever offer to watch them. In fact once I was asked and responded that I wasn’t a childminder 😂 Que cats bum face. Like I’ve never asked her to watch mine leave me alone.

I kind of get you. I raised mine for 20+ years, and they left home over a decade ago. I absolutely loved having my children, I didn't really mind their friends being around, and I didn't mind my nieces and nephews being round etc... Coz I was younger then.. 20s and 30s. But now I am in my mid to late 50s, I absolutely cannot bear little children around me. Hyper, screechy, OTT, demanding, high energy. Just no.

Also, I know four women right now who have had babies in the past 8-9 months, and I am fucked off with having one of the babies thrust into my arms 'so I can have a cuddle.' I don't want to cuddle your baby. Just coz you CBA to hold them yourself, and you're bored with him/her, don't dump them on me. I have zero interest in spending half an hour holding your 12 pound lump. I am going to a party on Monday, and 2 of them are there, and I KNOW they will shove their fucking baby on me. I am actually thinking of pretending I have broken my arm.

Just this past few days, I have been up town a couple of times - and all the little kids between 4, and maybe 10 or 11, are running round in groups of 5 or 6 just screaming, (shrill and harsh and right at the top of their voice,) and the parents are just completely ignoring them. It has absolutely done my head in.

I cannot stand the sound of kids screaming and screeching. I've got zero tolerance for them now. This is why I absolutely cannot get my head around how anybody would have a baby in their mid to late 40s ... Imagine having to put up with this shit all the time in your late 40s and all through your 50s?! I shudder just thinking about it.

I hope I feel differently if I ever have grandchildren! I am sure I will.

I've been working in childcare for last 9yrs and the last year or so I'm finding my tolerance is lower than it used to be for the chaos and behaviour issues. I'm putting it down to being close to menopause and my nurturing hormones ceasing to exist! I'm hoping I feel different if a grandchild comes along though.

Yep this is me. I have two children and love them both obviously but have little to no interest in other peoples. I really don't get when people want a "cuddle" with a baby or coo over them.

I couldn't think of a worse job that being in a nursery or KS1 with loads of them all day.

I LOVE babies and small children! I worked in Early Years for all my career, spent 10 very enjoyable years as a SAHM with my own DC and now spend my retirement caring for my DGC. There's nothing else I'd rather do.

I always think it would be great if you could just swap with other parents and only do the bits that you like

I'll take newborns, 1-3.5 year olds, and then pick them back up at 7. Or even better at secondary school age.

If someone else could do the 3-5 year bit that would be especially great.

I think we all have different strengths and weaknesses, and it's totally normal/valid to favour certain ages and wish you had a fast forward button for other ages.

I think that babies quite like me because I'm not all up in their face cooing.

I have a friend trying to get me to come down to meet a mutual's third baby. I just... Don't care? She's had fucking three, and I don't like the first two.

I can't stand other people's kids. I hate playgrounds for this reason. Your not alone🙈 I do sometimes think little girls dressed in pretty outfits are cute though but purely because I have two boy😂🙈

Exactly.

As long as you like your own kid, it's all good.

I don’t like all men, or all women, or all horses, or all vegetables so why would I universally like all children? I can smile and say ‘cute’ in passing but I wouldn’t want to give them houseroom.

I get it OP. I don't actively dislike other people's small children but I don't them appealing and find it quite hard to engage with them. Obviously I adored my own! I am a secondary school teacher, but I taught languages in primary schools for a while in recent years and got a bit better with them!

I think it’s fairly common not to be overly fussed by small children. I don’t find it weird at all. They are quite hard work in terms on needing lots of care and time and they are less developed and less interesting.

Only thing I do find weird is when people say they “hate” children or go out of their way to go on about how much they dislike children.

I work with children ( from prem babies to 18yo) and love the little ones. The parents are with them though 90% is the time.

However if you asked me to babysit/ be responsible for a baby or toddler id be scared, probably by the experience if my own children who were a handful!

I do think it's sad though, we've lost that community spirit were people looked out for kids and weren't scared of pulling them up if misbehaving. It means parents have no ' village' and are exhausted trying to meet that need

This made me laugh! My DD is the same age and also beginning to like some of her ‘feral’ buddies; she seems to go for similar personality types to herself so end up with two fairly crazy, somewhat stroppy kids on a play date…at least they’ve got character 🤣

I've never had maternal feelings or squishy feelings when I look at babies or young kids. I worked with kids in a nursery and it put me off them even more, lol. I love my own, but not simply because they're children iyswim.