Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not really like small children despite having one?!

103 replies

Sadmadsleepy · 05/04/2023 17:16

Just that really. Feel the stereotype is that we all love babies and little’uns. I was never overly keen on them pre motherhood, and haven’t found that’s really changed.

I can see the cute side a bit more, like when it makes me think of my own DD at that age, and am much more confident in knowing how to interact with them and keep them alive if needed! However, the mini-person maternal urge seems to be turned off in me. With the exception of my own child lol; my liking just doesn’t extend beyond her.

Ironically, I work in a child-focused industry, but this is with school-aged children and I have no issue with that/ do actually like young children…just can’t see past the crying, crazy, snot-filled hooligans they are when very small to find the joy in them at that age!

Is this weird? Any others just not baby/toddler people but still like children overall?!

OP posts:
Divisionoflabour89 · 07/04/2023 10:25

I like babies, toddlers and children generally. I like their honesty and their energy.

JamSandle · 07/04/2023 10:27

My mum always said this. She loved us but hated children!

Legoninjago1 · 07/04/2023 10:32

PrettyMaybug · 06/04/2023 19:31

I kind of get you. I raised mine for 20+ years, and they left home over a decade ago. I absolutely loved having my children, I didn't really mind their friends being around, and I didn't mind my nieces and nephews being round etc... Coz I was younger then.. 20s and 30s. But now I am in my mid to late 50s, I absolutely cannot bear little children around me. Hyper, screechy, OTT, demanding, high energy. Just no.

Also, I know four women right now who have had babies in the past 8-9 months, and I am fucked off with having one of the babies thrust into my arms 'so I can have a cuddle.' I don't want to cuddle your baby. Just coz you CBA to hold them yourself, and you're bored with him/her, don't dump them on me. I have zero interest in spending half an hour holding your 12 pound lump. I am going to a party on Monday, and 2 of them are there, and I KNOW they will shove their fucking baby on me. I am actually thinking of pretending I have broken my arm.

Just this past few days, I have been up town a couple of times - and all the little kids between 4, and maybe 10 or 11, are running round in groups of 5 or 6 just screaming, (shrill and harsh and right at the top of their voice,) and the parents are just completely ignoring them. It has absolutely done my head in.

I cannot stand the sound of kids screaming and screeching. I've got zero tolerance for them now. This is why I absolutely cannot get my head around how anybody would have a baby in their mid to late 40s ... Imagine having to put up with this shit all the time in your late 40s and all through your 50s?! I shudder just thinking about it. Confused

😂 I love you 😂

Missmarplesknittingbuddy · 07/04/2023 10:32

I also never had any time or warmth for any children other than my own . I was really worried I wouldnt have any feelings for my GC, but absolutely adore them.

coeurnoir · 07/04/2023 10:59

Children are people

Nearly 25 years of being a parent and I'm still not convinced they are to be honest 🤣

allfurcoatnoknickers · 07/04/2023 14:39

@Sadmadsleepy Yeah, his friend have character. They're all a bit wild and make me laugh.

DH and I were at an extended family gathering over Christmas with lots of small kids and it was basically my hell. Plus one relative got angry at me when I declined to cuddle/hold/play with her one year old who was covered in chocolate. I was wearing beige cashmere at the time. HARD PASS.

Orangebadger · 07/04/2023 15:04

Yeah I can relate to that especially with babies. Never ever been maternal, far prefer animals to babies. Had my own, love them to bits, but literally zero interest in other peoples babies, love their animals though 😂 feel a bit more drawn to toddlers as they can be funny, but equally very glad mine are past the toddler age as it's bloody hard work!

cadburyegg · 07/04/2023 16:42

Depends on the child. One of my friends doesn't ever let her kids get bored, their days are always filled with activities, even when they are poorly she drags them out to "make memories" 🤦‍♀️ as a result her kids are used to being constantly entertained and her youngest is particularly irritating when he comes round for play dates because he expects my 1:1 attention too!!

cadburyegg · 07/04/2023 16:44

Also, I know four women right now who have had babies in the past 8-9 months, and I am fucked off with having one of the babies thrust into my arms 'so I can have a cuddle.' I don't want to cuddle your baby. Just coz you CBA to hold them yourself, and you're bored with him/her, don't dump them on me. I have zero interest in spending half an hour holding your 12 pound lump. I am going to a party on Monday, and 2 of them are there, and I KNOW they will shove their fucking baby on me. I am actually thinking of pretending I have broken my arm.

OMG I can relate to this. I remember the first time I took my DS1 (then age 4) out to a party without his breastfed younger brother. I felt like I was on holiday not having to hold a baby constantly. It was a breath of fresh air and I really enjoyed that time with DC1 until one of my friends thrust her baby on me saying "your turn to hold J now" 😭😭😭

Tidsleytiddy · 07/04/2023 16:47

Schmutter · 07/04/2023 08:47

The absolute best thing about your kids getting older, is that you know longer have to be around little kids.

Yes, this. I have adult sons but I cannot abide small children and find it hard to connect with them as you get very little back.

FrostyFifi · 07/04/2023 16:48

on Mumsnet it seems de rigueur to despise all children aside from one's own

Unless you don't have any then it's obligatory to love them, adore nephews and nieces etc.

PeonyFairy · 07/04/2023 16:53

I think this is why so many women think they don't want children. I certainly did. never had the slightest interest in children of any age, always left the room when colleagues brought their babies in.
I made a calculated biological clock decision to have them, spent the entire pregnancy thinking I'd made a terrible mistake. Then had the happiest 20 years of my life bringing up my children. I sdored them at every age but still never liked other children.
It must be an instinct thing.

Topseyt123 · 07/04/2023 16:53

MagpiePi · 07/04/2023 08:29

There's that quote...
Children are like farts - you can only tolerate your own
😀

I love that one and might steal it. 🤣

It about sums me up too, and I had three children who are all now in their twenties. I tolerated other people's young children when mine were of an age to have friends of their own, and of course as local mums we did each other the odd favour when occasional help was needed. I was always glad when I was back down to just my own kids though.

You aren't alone.

SherbetDips · 07/04/2023 16:54

I’m a Nanny and I’m not keen on other people’s kids these days. Mainly because no one instils boundaries and manners anymore.

I love babies and toddlers but you can keep your older monsters.

MyFaceIsAnAONB · 07/04/2023 16:55

YANBU I don’t understand people who say they love their nieces and nephews 😵‍💫 obviously I don’t want harm to come to them, but that’s the same with anyone else.

Terraria · 07/04/2023 16:56

I only started to like some kids after having my own. Still, I think my neighbours kids are little sh*ties 🤐

TakemedowntoPotatoCity · 07/04/2023 17:23

I definitely think its a hormonal thing. 15 years ago I was so broody and adored babies and toddlers. Now I'm nearly 50 I find 2 year olds bloody annoying, especially the sort that are just mean and try to take others ' toys or push other kids; I have no patience for their behaviour. Good job my youngest is 11. I expect I will dote on any future grandchildren.

thatsn0tmyname · 07/04/2023 17:25

Children are maggots.

GoodChat · 07/04/2023 17:25

thatsn0tmyname · 07/04/2023 17:25

Children are maggots.

Only fly children.

WhatFreshHeckle · 07/04/2023 17:36

thatsn0tmyname · 07/04/2023 17:25

Children are maggots.

Agatha?

Return2thebasic · 07/04/2023 17:43

I'm still frightened when ds10 is having playdate. Finding to keep another child that's not mine satisfied with food/entertainment just pure stress. They are kids and I'm an adult so I'm supposed to "take care of their needs." 😂

My friends from uni used to laugh at me being afraid of kids. They still joke these days how I managed to have my own..

Original poster
Sadmadsleepy · 07/04/2023 19:05

LyndaSnellsSniff · 07/04/2023 09:14

I quite like little children and do cuddle new borns. But it seems kind of pointless to fuss over them somehow?

With my own there was always a need to be fulfilled and it was my actual job to love and care for them. With other people's babies, there's no need to be fulfilled and it all feels a bit hollow.

That’s a really interesting point I’d never considered. With my own, I knew it was my ‘job’ to interact with my DD to support all that social development, meet needs etc.

With my actual job role, again, it's my role to support the children’s development etc so can see purpose to it and fully commit to that.

Outside of own child and work role, maybe there is an unconscious lack of purpose felt to the interactions? A new perspective to mull over…

OP posts:
MissHavishamsMouldyOldCake · 07/04/2023 19:49

Missmarplesknittingbuddy · 07/04/2023 10:32

I also never had any time or warmth for any children other than my own . I was really worried I wouldnt have any feelings for my GC, but absolutely adore them.

So committed to disliking all kids other than those you spawn yourself that you worry you'll dislike your own grandchildren.

Weird as fuck.

WorryMcGee · 07/04/2023 19:55

I am not maternal and have always found babies and toddlers boring. I have never wanted a cuddle with anyone’s baby. This thread is making me feel better! 😂 DD is 1 in a few days and I love her so much but my goodness, babies are such hard work and so tedious. I can’t have any more but even if I could I wouldn’t because I don’t think I could do the baby stage again.

Easterfunbun · 07/04/2023 19:57

I prefer teens. I actually always find myself saying “aww” and “what a sweetie”
in reference to teenagers.

Swipe left for the next trending thread