Page 19 | Settle my inheritance row!

Topseyt123 · 06/04/2023 00:43

Bloody hell this thread is frustrating! Why are so many people utterly incapable of comprehending that:

A) The OP has OWNED the house for more than 10 years. So it isn't an inheritance.

B) The house and OP's Dad are not in the UK, so UK laws won't apply.

C) She isn't proposing to turf her Dad out onto the streets. She is proposing to buy a flat which would be more suitable for his needs.

Mossstitch · 06/04/2023 00:48

Topseyt123 · 06/04/2023 00:43

Bloody hell this thread is frustrating! Why are so many people utterly incapable of comprehending that:

A) The OP has OWNED the house for more than 10 years. So it isn't an inheritance.

B) The house and OP's Dad are not in the UK, so UK laws won't apply.

C) She isn't proposing to turf her Dad out onto the streets. She is proposing to buy a flat which would be more suitable for his needs.

Agree....... And if I may add D).......... It wasn't done with the intention to avoid inheritance tax, people seem obsessed with this when nowhere has the value of the property been mentioned and the reason for the property being gifted has been.

YetMoreNewBeginnings · 06/04/2023 00:49

The op hasn’t actually detailed where the house is or what the exact agreement is do any advice is pointless.

if she owns it outright she can do what she likes.

mention of the will suggests there could potentially be a trust, which means she’d have to follow that.

No one can actually say anything helpful

magicthree · 06/04/2023 01:46

BungleandGeorge · 05/04/2023 21:42

It sounds like you’d be much wiser to keep
the money and pay some of his essential bills
if Necessary. Otherwise the money will just go
to his debtors/ get frittered away??

So OP's father's creditors should just write off the money they are owed should they? You think OP is entitled to this money and they are not? The whole family appear to be lacking in moral fiber, along with yourself.

Fraaahnces · 06/04/2023 01:53

Or, OP’s DM transferred the title of the house over with the responsibility for DF with money problems (and fractured relationship) and it sounds very much like this man would potentially be unwelcome in a care home if he has serious addiction (or aggression) problems. The DF has no money to maintain the home or heat it and OP knows he would be safer and warmer in a smaller flat. He sees this as a golden opportunity to squeeze OP for money as the property value has increased. All well and good, but she would also have to invest to sell it.

Bucketheadbucketbum · 06/04/2023 06:18

You sound very grabby your poor dad

Topseyt123 · 06/04/2023 08:18

Bucketheadbucketbum · 06/04/2023 06:18

You sound very grabby your poor dad

Read the thread. You either haven't, or you don't understand it.

There is nothing wrong with the way OP is treating her Dad.

FacebookFun · 06/04/2023 08:36

This reply has been withdrawn

The OP has privacy concerns and so we've agreed to take this down.

MzHz · 06/04/2023 08:51

BadNomad · 05/04/2023 22:45

It stopped him becoming homeless years ago when he would have had to sell the house to pay off his debts. He's had a roof over his head all this time because the debt collectors couldn't take it.

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Exactly. ALL he’s entitled to is housing. A roof over his head for life

he sold the house. That’s like me going to the buyers of my London flat and telling them they owe me part of the increase in value since I sold it to them.

Course I wish I could.. it’d be a LOT, and my oh used to have a little house in Chelsea.. he pines for that 😂 but it’s gone. It’s sold.

op was given the house legally and properly and with the right to be housed for the rest of his life. He can’t upkeep the house, is broke and has nothing but debt. What @LetMeExplain is suggesting is perfectly reasonable given all the factors we know of. No, he isn’t owed the difference because any new flat would ALSO belong to @LetMeExplain and he’s stay there for the rest of his life.

HomeTheatreSystem · 06/04/2023 08:55

From OP's posts:

He has a disastrous relationship with money and is basically destitute.

He is beyond ridiculous with money and has accumulated a lot of debt, more than the house is worth.

the house was originally put in my name because my mum knew that he would just piss it all away. As I said, there is a bit of a back story involving a man who cannot deal with money and several bankruptcies…

I am pretty sure she would want me to make sound decisions and not let him get his hands on my money, like he did with hers.

OPs father is not just a bit of a spendthrift: he has the same relationship with money that an alcoholic has with alcohol and a gambler has with betting. He is his own worst enemy but cannot see it. He is fundamentally incapable of managing money to meet his and his family's most basic needs. He is not a well man. Had OP not taken ownership of the house at her mother's request, in order to preserve the roof over her parents' heads, he would now have nowhere to live and no money to spend. Her poor mum would also have been made homeless through his actions. She was very wise to transfer ownership of her home out of her husband's reach when she did.

People talk about sexual infidelity as being the worst betrayal in a relationship but financial betrayal is every bit as damaging. You will never have a moment's peace and security once you know that your partner is a plughole down which every penny earned or borrowed will drain away, leaving you with debt you've no means of repaying. You cannot build a future together. Poor OP and her mum must have been to hell and back living with the fallout of her dad's incapacity to handle money, yet she gets called greedy, grabby, tax avoiding, immoral etc. Quite unbelievable.

Schnooze · 06/04/2023 09:22

You’ve muddied the water and the answers by using the word inheritance op.

vivainsomnia · 06/04/2023 09:48

Without getting into the whole story, knowing how your parents acquired the money to buy the house would be interesting.

There's a bit of difference between your mum being the sole provider, having bought the house, paying the mortgage whilst your dad went from poor investment to poor investment giving him nothing to contribute and your mum being a sahm whilst your dad, despite some poor financial decisions was the sole earner.

You keep talking about YOUR house, but it's only yours through a gift of convenience. A bit different to a house you bought and kindly let your dad stay in.

diddl · 06/04/2023 09:49

adultdds · 06/04/2023 00:14

It's your house. Technically you could make him homeless. But getting him a flat is a good idea.

I doubt Op could make him homeless.

Op owns the house but her father may live there until he dies.

What provisions were made for when he could no longer afford or manage it who knows?
(unless I've missed that)

pam290358 · 06/04/2023 10:18

diddl · 06/04/2023 09:49

I doubt Op could make him homeless.

Op owns the house but her father may live there until he dies.

What provisions were made for when he could no longer afford or manage it who knows?
(unless I've missed that)

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I don’t think you’ve missed anything in the OP’s posts - I can’t find anything there to clarify either. If the agreement was to allow the parents to live out the rest of their lives in the house, surely there must have been something drawn up as to who would be responsible for the upkeep. If DF’s in a different country I suppose it would be difficult to keep on top of things and maybe the easiest option is to downsize so he can manage. The OP does seem to be focused on the fact that she owns the property a little more than she is on DF’s welfare, but I get the impression there’s a difficult back story here.

bridgetreilly · 06/04/2023 11:57

OP is in no way responsible for her father’s creditors. She has no obligation to sell HER house to pay his debts. Nor should she. They are HIS responsibility. This is not rocket science, ffs.

YetMoreNewBeginnings · 06/04/2023 12:00

pam290358 · 06/04/2023 10:18

I don’t think you’ve missed anything in the OP’s posts - I can’t find anything there to clarify either. If the agreement was to allow the parents to live out the rest of their lives in the house, surely there must have been something drawn up as to who would be responsible for the upkeep. If DF’s in a different country I suppose it would be difficult to keep on top of things and maybe the easiest option is to downsize so he can manage. The OP does seem to be focused on the fact that she owns the property a little more than she is on DF’s welfare, but I get the impression there’s a difficult back story here.

Show quote history

There’s no detail on the actual legal agreement at all in the Op’s posts so no one can give any actual decent advice.

Theres too big a variation in the possibilities.

clarepetal · 06/04/2023 12:29

LadyGardenersQuestionTime · 05/04/2023 16:11

So it was a gift, not an inheritance, but it's her house. If she sells it it's her money.

She is going to buy him a home out of her money and let him live there rent free.

Perfectly fine imo.

Agreed 👍

clarepetal · 06/04/2023 12:36

I'm with you OP and don't think your evil at all.

diddl · 06/04/2023 12:39

bridgetreilly · 06/04/2023 11:57

OP is in no way responsible for her father’s creditors. She has no obligation to sell HER house to pay his debts. Nor should she. They are HIS responsibility. This is not rocket science, ffs.

It seems that it was obviously done so that Op can keep the house & his creditor's can go whistle!

HomeTheatreSystem · 06/04/2023 13:00

I think if you lend money to someone with no assets, a poor credit record and history of bankruptcies, you can expect not to get your money back.

MaryMcCarthy · 06/04/2023 13:35

Of course you're being unreasonable. You're being positively sociopathic.

Towards your own father.

Topseyt123 · 06/04/2023 13:48

MaryMcCarthy · 06/04/2023 13:35

Of course you're being unreasonable. You're being positively sociopathic.

Towards your own father.

Another one who either has poor comprehension skills or who hasn't bothered to try and read the thread. 🙄

Sponging · 06/04/2023 14:58

Most people will never understand how draining this type of relative can be, because most people are not complete financial fuckwits and they have no experience of just how hard it can be. They think it is just people overspending a little.

I have a relative who has been serially bankrupt, has more than once run up debts in excess of house value, lost a family home by taking out a hidden second mortgage so the kids ended up homeless and living with other relatives etc. This relative now lives in a house owned by another relative, has done for over 20 years, has never paid rent, yet sublets to mates. He does no maintenance, hoards stuff to the point where a floor collapsed and he didn't notice. He cannot be trusted with money and whenever he has cash, he just gives it away without a thought. He just doesn't have the skills to look after himself or a property, but would be deemed competent by all measures. He thinks it is all ok, because the house has (theoretically) gone up in value since he has lived there. He doesn't see that it is not real until the asset can be realised or recognise the impact that financially supporting him has had on his other relative.

The OP's mother protected her major asset for her daughter's benefit. It is HERS, not her father's. She is not proposing to make him homeless, she is trying to make sure he is suitably homed, as my relative did. OP can buy him a flat, make sure the bills are paid etc and not enable him to keep running up debts. This is not about her being heartless. If her father has access to cash, he WILL spend it on whatever his vice is. And then come back for more. Should it be the state's responsibility to home people like him?

Do I care about the creditors? Not really, they are unlikely to be hard up individuals. Odds are that there is gambling or another addiction going on. I struggle to care about bookmakers or others who support addictive behaviour. If it was just excess spending, there would be something to show for it.

LovelyIssues · 06/04/2023 18:00

You get your inheritance when he dies! He's still alive OP. I'm shocked someone would treat a parent like this!

Ellie474747 · 06/04/2023 18:03

Just a thought, have you asked him what he need the money for? Is it to live on could you may put some aside from the sale, to give monthly rather than lump sum. If it's to live on etc