Letter to neighbour below..
Hi
With regards to your recent complaint about noise on or before 7pm on 06/05 - I do apologise if noise from our flat is frustrating for you, as I've already said I will do all I can to keep noise to a minimum.
You can rest assured that when there is noise in my flat I'm already trying to stop it. I'm practically living on eggshells waiting for your next complaint after your first one not even 24 hours after we'd moved in and was still in the process of moving in.
I am sympathetic. It must be incredibly frustrating living below three small children especially one with special needs, but noise is part and parcel of communal living.
Since moving in I have spent a sizable sum on rugs to put down in every room to try and limit the sound of walking around / the children running because the floors down are laminate. As that clearly isn't helping I'm going to save up and install thick carpets.
I have brought the children's bed times forward. I opted not to have visitors for my daughters birthday because I knew the noise of even more children running around would be annoying for you.
I have gotten rid of toys that the kids loved before we even moved in because I knew they would be inconsiderate to keep. My sons miniature indoor trampoline for example and his balance board which were actually pretty important to him for meeting his sensory needs and regulating his emotions. I have no doubt that my getting rid of those things has only destabilised him further and will be contributing to how unsettled he is at the moment.
I have my television volume so low I can barely hear it after 8pm so as not to disturb you.
If I need to get out of bed to use the toilet during the night I'm worried about whether opening and closing doors is going to lead to another complaint.
There are laws in place that define a maximum acceptable amount of noise during 'night hours' which are between 11pm and 7am - I have already sought advice on this - and aside the first 24 hrs moving in when my children's beds and mattresses were delivered late by the delivery company and I was moving boxes in the bedroom at 10.30 ish there has never been excessive late night noise in here.
I don't play music, I don't drink alcohol or do drugs, I don't have droves of people in and out late at night causing a disturbance. I am not an inconsiderate neighbour. The walls and floors are thin and I can hear everything in my neighbours flats too. I've heard you come and go, i can hear when you're talking on the phone or to your partner, when your son is playing. That's communal living. It is what it is.
I will do my best to keep noise at the lowest possible volume from 7pm onwards (I have already brought my children's bedtimes forward for that reason alone) but as I explained my son is severely autistic and I cannot always preempt every meltdown. The bank holidays and school strikes have unsettled him and he doesn't cope well with a change of his routine. The past week or so has been difficult for him with all the disruption to his routine, plus moving into a new place which is stressful for everybody.
If you can hear the banging you must also be able to hear me trying to get them to be quiet, or playing referee when the kids set each other off. Quite frankly it is exhausting.
There are going to be times where my ASD son bangs and throws, my toddler will drop or drag things across the floor, the kids will squabble and have tantrums and cry - whilst it must sound incredibly annoying above your ceiling it's the norm for families with multiple young children. Little ones are not known for their ability to keep their noise down. I'm trying my best.
Your partner has seen my son coming home on the special needs bus and I'm sure he's relayed to you the type of behaviour that I deal with on a daily basis. It's tough, being made more so by now having the additional complication of having to placate neighbours who, I'm sure you won't mind me saying, have a very low tolerance for noise.
I lived in my previous property for 6 years and not once during that time did I have any noise complaints or any bad feeling among the neighbours. Neighbours were understanding about my sons additional needs. I was understanding about their noise.
Me and my youngest have been woken up by people coming in and out of the building late at night, being loud in the hallways, the smell of cannabis flooding my flat. I hear banging often. It doesn't occur to me to go and knock on doors. Living communally you have to adhere to a degree of live and let live and unless somebody is being deliberately antisocial IE loud music, parties, excessive and continuous noise during the night - you cannot be putting this pressure on people.
I've just been diagnosed with a serious and life threatening condition and i'm due to have surgery. My stress levels are through the roof, largely due to the fact I've felt as though I have to tread on egg shells in my own home since day 1 of living here. I have never felt so uncomfortable living anywhere as I do here. It's not the best impression on either side of the fence.
All that said and done, I will do my best to mitigate noise wherever possible. If you hear noise from my kids you can guarantee I'm already trying to get them to be quiet, and if you can hear noise from me then that's exactly what I'm trying to do.
Please, stop knocking on my door and asking your partner to press my buzzer to complain. You are putting me under considerable stress at a very difficult time and I'm sure it isn't your intention but this is beginning to feel like harassment and will be treat as much if it continues.
Kind regards
M
Number 8