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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask for space and ventilation on crowded trains.

133 replies

Booblessbeauty · 05/04/2023 13:15

I am going backward and forward to hospital having chemotherapy, and the medical advice is to sit away from other passengers and keep the windows open. Some trains are standing room only, and I have to ask for space to be left near me when there are no other seats. Most people are kind and understanding, but I have had chemotherapy today, and both going in and coming out, I have had people ignore my requests.

On my way in, on a crowded rush hour train, a man insisted on moving my bag and sitting on the seat next to me, even though I had paid an extra ticket for my bag, and explained to him about the chemo.

On the way back, another man insisted on closing all the windows in the carriage, because he "felt cold" even though an infection could kill me

It is quite obvious I am undergoing chemotherapy, as I am bald, wearing a mask, and have a sunflower lanyard around my neck with "Chemotherapy patient needing social distancing and ventilation" written on it quite clearly. - The hospital gives this to patients who have to travel to chemotherapy by public transport.

Most people are lovely, but today was quite upsetting. The worst thing that has ever happened to me on these trips was a well dressed young woman in a business suit physically kicking me out of the way because I couldn't move fast enough for her, then acting as if she was the one hard done by, being forced to touch me with her precious shoe.

Thank you to all those people who do listen and understand , and give me space though. Which is most people

OP posts:
Replyingnow · 15/04/2023 10:26

Booblessbeauty · 05/04/2023 14:31

thanks, The main reason these wont work is because I am on benefits of £70 something a week, and taxis, hotels, etc are totally out of the question! I have money specifically from a grant for train fare. You cant travel out of rush hour, because if you have a morning appointment, all trains before it are rush hour trains.

If you are on benefits you qualify for https://www.nhs.uk/nhs-services/help-with-health-costs/healthcare-travel-costs-scheme-htcs/ on top of PIP. I posted elsewhere on this thread a list of free transport services and options that are at least available in Greater London area. My friend has used all but the means tested ones. He was able to avoid using trains in the 18 months.

What area are you in? I will happily do some research for you. Dial a Ride is a great service and I think national.

nhs.uk

Healthcare Travel Costs Scheme (HTCS)

If you're referred to hospital or other NHS premises for specialist NHS treatment or diagnostic tests by a doctor, dentist or another primary care health professional, you may be able to claim a refund of reasonable travel costs under the Healthcare Tr...

https://www.nhs.uk/nhs-services/help-with-health-costs/healthcare-travel-costs-scheme-htcs/

Replyingnow · 15/04/2023 10:29

Booblessbeauty · 05/04/2023 14:42

Just under an hour and a half. Sometimes a bit more.

Oh wow. A three hour round trip? The NHS really is on its knees.

JMSA · 15/04/2023 10:34

I am so sorry, but I think you're being unrealistic.
In the ideal world, yes ...
Flowers

ReviewingTheSituation · 15/04/2023 10:42

Have you looked to see if there are community support groups near you on FB? We have a local one which helps with things exactly like this - people give lifts to appointments etc.

How do you feel about asking directly for help? If a friend asked me, I would take them. Doesn't need to be every time - just once would help. Sometimes people don't realise what kind of things would be useful.

My colleague was having daily radiotherapy a year or so ago. My lovely boss set up a rota so that we gave her lifts to cover 3 days a week, in work time. It made us all feel like we were doing something useful, but was definitely made easier by being facilitated by the boss.

Replyingnow · 15/04/2023 10:54

ReviewingTheSituation · 15/04/2023 10:42

Have you looked to see if there are community support groups near you on FB? We have a local one which helps with things exactly like this - people give lifts to appointments etc.

How do you feel about asking directly for help? If a friend asked me, I would take them. Doesn't need to be every time - just once would help. Sometimes people don't realise what kind of things would be useful.

My colleague was having daily radiotherapy a year or so ago. My lovely boss set up a rota so that we gave her lifts to cover 3 days a week, in work time. It made us all feel like we were doing something useful, but was definitely made easier by being facilitated by the boss.

How wonderful.

purplecorkheart · 15/04/2023 11:06

Maybe contact your local active retirement group. Some of the members of our local ones do Hospital run for people undergoing treatment. It is not advertised but does exist.

Also have you asked do any people host people undergoing treatment near the Hospital. I know there used to be people who would have people undergoing treatment stay with them.

Ariela · 15/04/2023 11:21

Are you absolutely sure there is no-one who can drive you?
(Maybe I'm a martyr to the cause. but I travelled 350 miles on a monthly basis to take my friend to chemo).
I'd also suggest look at travelling off peak and booking well in advance for hotel accommodation/AirBnB - I did this last year by booking direct with the venues (no fee to agency) and paid typically £25-8 a night for bed and breakfast (in Devon peak holiday area, all through summer, there was only one date I couldn't get for a good price in August) - easily fits in with cheaper daytime train price. (Also look at a railcard to bring price down, if you've not already)

Ariela · 15/04/2023 11:26

PS If you are on certain benefits, you can claim travel expenses back, must be within 3 months. https://www.nhs.uk/nhs-services/help-with-health-costs/healthcare-travel-costs-scheme-htcs/
(I didn't claim for my friend, in case anyone asks, but we could have claimed for her travel from her home to hospital and back)
Many hospitals have a travel service supported by volunteers, and for cancer treatment/appointments you're usually eligible to use it.

nhs.uk

Healthcare Travel Costs Scheme (HTCS)

If you're referred to hospital or other NHS premises for specialist NHS treatment or diagnostic tests by a doctor, dentist or another primary care health professional, you may be able to claim a refund of reasonable travel costs under the Healthcare Tr...

https://www.nhs.uk/nhs-services/help-with-health-costs/healthcare-travel-costs-scheme-htcs

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