To ask for space and ventilation on crowded trains.

[Booblessbeauty]

I am going backward and forward to hospital having chemotherapy, and the medical advice is to sit away from other passengers and keep the windows open. Some trains are standing room only, and I have to ask for space to be left near me when there are no other seats. Most people are kind and understanding, but I have had chemotherapy today, and both going in and coming out, I have had people ignore my requests.

On my way in, on a crowded rush hour train, a man insisted on moving my bag and sitting on the seat next to me, even though I had paid an extra ticket for my bag, and explained to him about the chemo.

On the way back, another man insisted on closing all the windows in the carriage, because he "felt cold" even though an infection could kill me

It is quite obvious I am undergoing chemotherapy, as I am bald, wearing a mask, and have a sunflower lanyard around my neck with "Chemotherapy patient needing social distancing and ventilation" written on it quite clearly. - The hospital gives this to patients who have to travel to chemotherapy by public transport.

Most people are lovely, but today was quite upsetting. The worst thing that has ever happened to me on these trips was a well dressed young woman in a business suit physically kicking me out of the way because I couldn't move fast enough for her, then acting as if she was the one hard done by, being forced to touch me with her precious shoe.

Thank you to all those people who do listen and understand , and give me space though. Which is most people

This is something I haven't tried. Maybe I could speak to the train company. I will look into this.

Have you spoken to the train company OP? My friend had similar and she was able to have her tickets upgraded to first class for no additional cost, she did have to provide a letter and proof of appointments though. A lot do this for pregnant women as well so it might be something others do if it's generally seen that some people for medical reasons require more space etc? Worth an ask at least, or to see if they can suggest anything else?

I guess this will depend on the train company and route. On my commuter trains there is no first class.

Chemo is bad enough without the stress of the train. I agree with the person that said about contacting the train company. They may even send you to first class! Some people are so ignorant. I would be saying to people that I hope your mother/sister/daughter (or male, of course!) never has to suffer this harassment on their way for cancer treatment. Good luck x

Unfortunately people are selfish.
My only advice would be to try and find someone who can accompany you as an advocate or even giving you a lift. There may be local cancer charities who can provide support.
I'm sorry that in your situation, where I'm sure my suggestions are likely going to be fruitless, that people are such intolerable arseholes.

I am definitely going to speak to the train company

If there really is no alternative then you could:
Consider travelling first class, possibly cheaper than buying two standard tickets in the hope no one will use your extra seat.
Contacting the train company to ask if you can use the first class carriage ( if you don't ask you don't get!) Alternatively just sitting in first class and throwing yourself on the ticket inspector's mercy.
Asking for appointments that enable you to travel off peak.
Getting a heavy duty mask.
Becoming extremely assertive when asking for space when it's clearly possible. Most people would be shamed into complying if the conversation is loud and public.

It’s public transport so I do think your expectations are unreasonable. You may think your situation is obvious but people don’t often pay that much attention to those they don't know. Even if they do notice they are likely to think that as they have also paid for their ticket they are as entitled to be there as you. So I don’t think you can rely on other people’s thoughtfulness or support here. If the train is such a risk for you then maybe you should speak to your clinical team to check if alternatives could be arranged?

There’s always going to be people like that. You said yourself the majority of people are nice, it’s just a few arseholes in the mix. You’ll never get 100% hit rate of nice, reasonable people.

I'm actually really shocked at the way people have treated you. Based on replies from pp, I must be very naive!

I can completely understand someone asking you to move their bag so that they can sit down, and can even understand people overlooking your mask and lanyard because I think many will assume you are someone who is still being over cautious about covid.

But I am appalled that people ignore you when you say that you bought two ticket and are undergoing chemotherapy. I would certainly accept that. I'm sorry that you are experiencing the dregs of human society. It is awful that people are not surprised by it too.

Why aren’t you buying a first class ticket if you’ve been wasting money buying double tickets for each journey? One ticket doesn’t guarantee you a seat so two won’t be able to guarantee you two next to each other, particularly for a bag.

When DH was having cancer treatment, his transport to and from hospital wa provided by a cancer charity; available free to any local cancer patients, not means tested.

You should ask your local services if theres a similar one by you.

I do undertand your concerns but frankly I don't think it entitles you to occupy multiple seats while paying passengers have to stand.

Sorry OP, assistance won’t travel with you they only help you on and off the train. That won’t help for the onward journey and people crowding you

It's still worth asking, there might be other options available besides a member of staff literally staying with OP the whole journey. It's always worth asking and having a conversation.

Sorry, YABU. There are many reasons why people need to sit, and on busy trains people can't stand far away just so you can have space free. As others have said, public transport unfortunately isn't for you.

I don't think you can expect a seat kept free next to you, or the window being open on a packed commuter train.

Ideal would be hospital or charity provided transport, but in the absence of that then a First Class ticket, a taxi, travelling outside of rush hour or booking into hotel/b&b near the treatment centre are all more realistic options than what you're currently trying to do. Why would these options not work for you?

I hope you find a solution that works for you.

If you're travelling in rush hour, can you ask on your local Facebook groups if anyone can give you a lift in exchange for petrol money, expecially they're working at the centre where you're having the chemo?

Wishing you all the very best xx

Have you asked the ward whether you could have chemo on weekends or at a time where you wouldn't be travelling at peak times?

I'd try and go first class if I was you. They often have single seats.

Gosh that's very difficult, but I'm afraid I don't think it's realistic to expect distancing on busy public transport. I think you might be best to focus on ventilation and good quality masks as at least you have some control over that.

Definitely talk to the train company - for one thing, buying a ticket doesn't typically entitle you to a seat, so you may well just be wasting your money buying a ticket for your bag unless you're actually reserving a seat for it too.

This seems like madness, I'm sorry you're having to go through this OP.

As others have said, speak to the train company. I needed assistance after breaking my ankle and they were very good with helping with what I needed.

If you're paying for 2 train tickets, are you sure a taxi isn't an option? 2 return tickets seem very costly. Or 1 first class train ticket if the layout has single seating?

I'm sorry to hear of your illness and wishing you all the best for a swift recovery.

Kindly, I think even with the windows open and a seat free next to you, public transport is a germ pit.

I hope you manage to get alternative arrangements sorted - I'm sorry to say it but I just don't think your expectations are realistic on a packed commuter train.

I'm not surprised to read this sadly. Even at the height of Covid many struggled with observing the request for ventilation and distancing! Beyond sanity!

If you have booked two seats then ask the conductor to boot the person off the seat. They will then most likely just stand in front of you anyway. I'm very sorry you have to deal with this but unfortunately during rush hour and commuting hours you aren't going to get space as often there is nowhere for people to stand other than where they are. I can only recommend trying to find the quietest carriage. Perhaps the one at the end?

I’m so sorry for what you are going through but it’s very unrealistic to expect space and fresh air on a packed train. There are many people who commute everyday on the train who for their own health reasons need a seat so I’m not surprised you have been asked to move your bag off a seat.

Totally understand you have specific needs etc but a packed train is not going to meet your needs given there will also be so many others on the train with differing needs.

Unfortunately you have been given unrealistic advice about how to minimise risk to you on the train, to me this smacks of your healthcare team ticking a box to say you’ve been provided with advice. They’ve given you rubbish advice because it’s unrealistic and unenforceable on a busy train that you can have a seat for your bag and have windows open.