Going on holiday with adult dd.

[adultdds]

Do people go on holiday with their young adult kids?

DD's always wanted to come away with us and we paid until they turned 18. Now they still want to come even tho they are in their early twenties. We can't afford to pay for them anymore but we find it's so much more expensive if they come with us. We still have two younger dd to pay for.

For example this year eldest dd is travelling she wanted to meet us abroad for a week. We agreed March (although we prefer to go abroad later in year that didn't fit with dd schedule) we rented a villa and paid half, dd's and their partners paid other half . We all covered our own flights. But we paid for a larger transfer, we ended up paying for a lot of the costs of the week- food , trips etc. normally we wood have a few pool days but water was freezing so wasn't really an option. So as a result it's cost us about £500 more than we usually spend whilst here. They also want a say in what we are doing as it's their hol too. But what they want to do isn't always child friendly. I just find it really stressful. They are not childiren going along with what parents budget is. But none of them work full time yet (dd's or partners) so they can't fully contribute either. Yet I know we are lucky they enjoy being with us.

Do other people go away with adult children when you can't afford to treat them.?

I understand the guilt, but they are adults and should pay their way now. Even if it isn't the whole amount? Could you ask them to pay for their flights for example and split the food shopping? Or if no flights involved then get them to pay towards accommodation and petrol.

Also, the guilt thing does work both ways though; you say you want your younger ones to have the same as the older ones. But that isn't right as it isn't the same situation. They can't necessarily have the exact same experience as the older ones, as it's a blended family which is always more complicated and can be more expensive too.

We do go away with adult dc but generally pay because we can. If we couldn't afford to, we would tell them they'd got to pay for themselves, simple as that.

I went away with adult dd this year and although I paid for the flights/accommodations for her birthday/Christmas, she did cough up for some drinks/meals when we were away.

Good point.