Page 12 | Philip Schofield: As far as I am concerned, I no longer have a brother."

DancingWithMashedPotato · 2023-04-03T16:38:58+00:00

Philip Schofield's brother had now been convicted of sexual abuse with a young boy over a 3 yr period. Horrendous crime. Philip Schofield has now stated "As far as I am concerned, I no longer have a brother."" Now, it's completely up to Philip how he responds to his brother in what must be a v v stressful time. I cast no judgement whatsoever, and his life in the public eye adds so many new dimensions for him that must be hard to handle. However, his comments about no longer having a brother really cut deep and made me wonder how I'd react I adore my siblings and I think (though obviously things might be different if it actually happened) that I couldn't bring myself to disown or abandon my brother's no matter what they did. I can imagine some very limited events which might lead to me not speaking to them for a bit, perhaps a v long time. But I think by and large, no matter what they did, however bad, while there are some things I couldn't forgive and maybe could never understand, I don't think I could disown them. AIBU? What are your views? Are there some things you absolutely would disown your family for? Are there some generally agreed limits for what a person can tolerate from a family member before they are disowned. Is child abuse the line? Murder?

PotterofGryfindor · 03/04/2023 21:15

ReunitedThorns · 03/04/2023 21:07

As far as I'm concerned This Morning no longer has a lead presenter.

He should be sacked, and hopefully the full truth can come out.

This morning has been on itv for decades though so I suspect it will carry on without him. You may consider him lead presenter but I have always preferred others like Dermot. There are plenty of people to fill his shoes.

Rockgirl84 · 03/04/2023 21:18

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Thisisallafiction · 03/04/2023 21:23

DH has gone NC with his sibling for far less than this, so would absolutely disown them if it were to come out that they’d done anything like this.
I’m extremely close to my siblings, but I can’t see how I could keep any kind of relationship with them in these circumstances.

TheMatriarchy · 03/04/2023 21:23

I thought Scofield having an affair with a very very young man when he got outed as gay. Personally I think he should disappear from our screens.

MissHoollie · 03/04/2023 21:25

There was no need for him to publically say anything

Goodread1 · 03/04/2023 21:27

Phillip Schoolfield is just saving /Salvageable his career that's it,

That's why he is making a big show to distance himself,

I don't know much about these recurring rumours are true or not, or just chinese whispers making mischief ( creating waves Gossip
Not sure if there anything in them

sqirrelfriends · 03/04/2023 21:28

He’s known for years.

BlackFriday · 03/04/2023 21:29

@Saddm from me too.

Original poster

DancingWithMashedPotato · 03/04/2023 21:29

Inlawfaithquestions · 03/04/2023 20:55

Op, some of the people on this thread have experienced trauma (myself included) and haven’t gone on to abuse children. Just wanted to remind you of that.

Show quote history

Sorry you have faced trauma. I also have, as have many. I didn't however, say 'all people who have faced trauma go on to offend'. I did say however, that pretty much 'all offenders have faced trauma'. There is certainly a difference.

In my experience, trauma can shape people in different ways depending on so so so many things including what it was, the context around it, and the other factors present including presence or lack of protective factors.

OP posts:

ForestofD · 03/04/2023 21:29

I can't work out if you are a reporter or a dimwit.

It isn't always about the individual. And if you do actually work with offenders, you should know this.

On a individual basis, people who commit these crimes may have been terribly wronged. However, as a whole- as a society, if we don't condemn these behaviours, we are in trouble.

The most vulnerable people in our society are children. They are weak and they have no power. And they rely on all of us to protect them, even if you aren't a parent. It's why anyone who works with children has safeguarding training. And if we don't clearly say to those people who hurt them that a) you will go to prison and b) you will effectively be cast out of society, we are allowing it to become acceptable. And the fear of prison and being found abhorrent by society and their family is a powerful deterrent.

And then, sometimes, children who haven't been protected do terrible things.

And then, sometimes, children who haven't been protected have to carry the most hideous burden for the rest of their lives.

Essentially what you are saying is that your love for your child is so strong, so powerful, so special, so much more important than anything else, that you might be willing to not shun them for their actions. Even though they may have committed the most heinous acts. And that is bad for society. And selfish. And self serving. And bad for your child- because it can't have been that bad, can it, if my family are standing by me?

TheGander · 03/04/2023 21:32

@DancingWithMashedPotato you have a valid point, but I think such is the hate for Philip Schofield on mumsnet that people aren’t going to hear it on here.

Original poster

DancingWithMashedPotato · 03/04/2023 21:33

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I don't think that wondering if I could disown my family, if they committed a serious crime, makes me a disgrace.

I'm sorry you experienced sexual abuse when younger.

OP posts:

QuintanaRoo · 03/04/2023 21:33

The thing which bugs me is apparently his brother told Philip about this before any police involvement. Philip didn’t disown his brother then. He didn’t tell the police, he didn’t protect the child. He was happy to turn a blind eye to chi,d abuse.

but now it’s public he will happily throw his brother under the bus to save his career. He has no actual morals on the subject, or he’d have disowned his brother earlier.

Inkpotlover · 03/04/2023 21:34

DancingWithMashedPotato · 03/04/2023 21:29

Sorry you have faced trauma. I also have, as have many. I didn't however, say 'all people who have faced trauma go on to offend'. I did say however, that pretty much 'all offenders have faced trauma'. There is certainly a difference.

In my experience, trauma can shape people in different ways depending on so so so many things including what it was, the context around it, and the other factors present including presence or lack of protective factors.

Show quote history

You're trying to justify what TS did? Jesus. Lots of people suffer trauma in their lives and don't rape kids.

Aaaaandbreathe · 03/04/2023 21:35

DancingWithMashedPotato · 03/04/2023 21:29

Sorry you have faced trauma. I also have, as have many. I didn't however, say 'all people who have faced trauma go on to offend'. I did say however, that pretty much 'all offenders have faced trauma'. There is certainly a difference.

In my experience, trauma can shape people in different ways depending on so so so many things including what it was, the context around it, and the other factors present including presence or lack of protective factors.

Show quote history

It doesn't matter why they are 'shaped' the way they are, it only matters that they are child abusers. That's it. They might have been through it and still do it to others. Completely lacking in empathy. They know it's wrong but still do it - it's a choice.

I don't believe you've answered whether you would have the same stance if your brother abused your DC (apologies if I've missed it).

CherryCokeFanatic · 03/04/2023 21:36

Can’t win can you? Bloody hell MN

Original poster

DancingWithMashedPotato · 03/04/2023 21:38

ForestofD · 03/04/2023 21:29

I can't work out if you are a reporter or a dimwit.

It isn't always about the individual. And if you do actually work with offenders, you should know this.

On a individual basis, people who commit these crimes may have been terribly wronged. However, as a whole- as a society, if we don't condemn these behaviours, we are in trouble.

The most vulnerable people in our society are children. They are weak and they have no power. And they rely on all of us to protect them, even if you aren't a parent. It's why anyone who works with children has safeguarding training. And if we don't clearly say to those people who hurt them that a) you will go to prison and b) you will effectively be cast out of society, we are allowing it to become acceptable. And the fear of prison and being found abhorrent by society and their family is a powerful deterrent.

And then, sometimes, children who haven't been protected do terrible things.

And then, sometimes, children who haven't been protected have to carry the most hideous burden for the rest of their lives.

Essentially what you are saying is that your love for your child is so strong, so powerful, so special, so much more important than anything else, that you might be willing to not shun them for their actions. Even though they may have committed the most heinous acts. And that is bad for society. And selfish. And self serving. And bad for your child- because it can't have been that bad, can it, if my family are standing by me?

I'm not saying offenders should not face punishment. If a child of mine, or a sibling, committed a serious crime then absolutely they should face the consequences - prison for a very long time. There is a big difference between not disowning someone, and condoning someone's acts. I would never ever in a million years condone a serious crime or not say it was bad and deserved a suitable consequence. I'm just saying I don't know if I could go so far as to disown my family member or say 'as far as I'm concerned, you are no longer my brother..'

OP posts:

speakout · 03/04/2023 21:39

Not all siblings are close.
I haven't spoken to my sister for 8 years.

VegetablesFightingToReclaimTheAubergieneEmoji · 03/04/2023 21:40

I do 100% agree it’s for PR and he should have done it sooner, however
The only reason for saying it now could be that it might have been problematic for the trial if he publicly stated earlier he had disowned him. it may have been seen to sway the jury.

Original poster

DancingWithMashedPotato · 03/04/2023 21:41

Aaaaandbreathe · 03/04/2023 21:35

It doesn't matter why they are 'shaped' the way they are, it only matters that they are child abusers. That's it. They might have been through it and still do it to others. Completely lacking in empathy. They know it's wrong but still do it - it's a choice.

I don't believe you've answered whether you would have the same stance if your brother abused your DC (apologies if I've missed it).

Show quote history

I honestly don't know aaaandbreathe. It's not something I want to think about. I really don't know what I'd think in that situation. I really don't.

OP posts:

JaneJeffer · 03/04/2023 21:41

Twitter is having none of him.

SurvivorSister · 03/04/2023 21:43

WannabeMarieKondo · 03/04/2023 18:39

What if one son had abused another sibling ?

Show quote history

My parents were in that situation.

They stuck with their son and lost me.

Ginger1982 · 03/04/2023 21:44

I don't have a sibling, but I would 100% disown another family member, including DH. I would, however, struggle to disown DS.

OMG12 · 03/04/2023 21:46

. I’d disown my brother if, for example, he groomed a young work colleague for sex. If he defended a known paedophile, lied to his wife and kids about his sexuality….

WilsonMilson · 03/04/2023 21:47

I find it disingenuous in the extreme that he is only disowning his brother now, and not when his brother confessed to him, not when he sat on the knowledge and did nothing to begin with. But now when it’s all public knowledge and his career is on the line.

Personally, I not want to see that weasel on television again.