Unannounced visitors are the worst!

[WilsonMilson]

Inspired by another thread today, I wanted to gauge opinion on my pet peeve - people who turn up at your house unannounced expecting to be invited in for an impromptu social visit.

I bloody hate it. Just don’t, it’s such an imposition! You should at least call or send a text to see if the potential host is available for visitors. Maybe I’m too uptight and not spontaneous enough, but I find it incredibly rude. So,

YABU - it’s lovely to have visitors and I need to lighten up and relax.

YANBU - unexpected visitors are bloody rude, and a menace to society.

Bonus points for unannounced visitor stories, especially if they are cfs!

Absolutely hate it. In laws used to do it at least once a week and me and DH both hated it. Less so now, but they still try sometimes.

I'm one of those weird people who don't answer the door unless I'm expecting someone. I hate with a vengeance people who just turn up unannounced. The majority of people nowadays own a mobile phone so imo there's no excuse for it. My exHs family were notorious for doing this, apparently in his family,it was quite normal. I always got the feeling that they were trying to 'catch me out'. Yet another reason that I'm so glad he is now my ex!

I think it’s weird to just turn up at someone’s house unannounced!
I would never do that, even to my own parents - I always give one of them a quick call a) to see if they are actually in and b) to see if they are busy or have other guests round etc.
A quick phone call/message is all it takes!

Calling with out first checking that it is convenient is a sure sign of arrogance. You are supposed to be available to entertain them on a whim.
You can’t possibly have anything more important in your life than entertaining them.
Know your place.

When I was a teenager a relative and her family would "pop in" just before dinner on every bank holiday! Mum being polite would ask them to stay and they always accepted. It got to the point where she made sure there was extra food in, just in case!!

To all those saying its arrogant, valuing your time more etc

Bit deep.

It's nothing like that for us.

We're a close family. I roughly know what people will be doing. If I go to my mums or sisters and she's not in, no big deal.

I dont expect them to sit around waiting for me. They dont expect me to sit around waiting for them

I absolutely do not care. If I'm busy I tell them that. I also don't care if I'm in my pj's or my house is a mess.

I hate it. Can't bear people turning up and stealing time I've allowed to something else.

Stealing time?!

Jeezo

🙄

I hate this too. But then I have to have at least a 30 minute tidy up before I'm happy to have guests round. Worst ones are the ones that's say don't worry about me
Well I am and I needed notice so go away!

I’d be annoyed at unexpected visitors who expect to stay a few hours.
Neighbours popping in for a quick chat? No issue.

Hmm.

It wasn't done in my family (South East)- you'd be surprised if a family member turned up unannounced and would assume there was some sort of crisis or emergency. We did get on and like each other so it wasn't unpleasant or unwelcome, but we just never turned up unannounced. I now live in Scotland and we're (DP and I) always popping over to various of his family members without letting them know and they're always happy. Having said that, none of them have young children, so I can see why that could be an imposition.

Depends who it is, what state the house is in, and what state I am in. I go and look out of an upstairs window and then decide, but have no problems ignoring people if it’s not a good time.

Well it is time theft in my opinion. If I’ve decided to put my feet up and enjoy a rare cup of tea in peace only to be disturbed by someone who decides to ‘pop round’ uninvited then they’ve taken that time from me. It’s the height of rudeness to just turn up at someone’s house and expect to be invited in.

This must be specific to village life?

Who's going to take a bus or get in their car to come and pop by someone's house they don't have any idea is in?

I sometimes pop by my best friend's house, which is on the way back from my local supermarket, and she has said before 'not today love' and I go on my way. Imposition of about 5 seconds so not really an imposition at all. She's done the same to me on her errand runs - because it's like a village and we are close by to one another and to routes we would already be on.

YANBU
I love having visitors but only if I’ve invited them and know they’re coming. I would never dream of just turning up at someone’s house randomly without checking it was convenient first.
The worst was an acquaintance who turned up a few hours after we’d moved house accompanied by her DH and 3 DC! 😳 Our sofa didn’t fit so we had to leave it on the drive. She actually sat on it and asked for a cup of tea! That was the last time I saw her funnily enough! 😂

@Eastie77Returns

If you'd resent spending time with family and friends that much then don't answer the door.

To consider it such a horrible imposition is weird to me.

Buy I like my family and cups of tea aren't rare

Most people I know just don't have the space or time to keep their homes guest ready. I find the ones who don't mind having unexpected guests are the ones who can take their guests to a tidy living room or are just very tidy people with guest ready homes.

I was like you and then I recently moved and I've not seen any of my friends for nearly a year. I would give anything for someone to just pop by.

Said this on the other thread as well. I absolutely hate it. I don't do it to others because I for sure don't want people doing it to me! Although it can be annoying; I don't mind you texting/calling last minute to tell me you're coming over. Ill try and accommodate you if I can but if you think you're just going to show up at my house unannounced then sadly, you'll be disappointed.

I hate it too but when it happens and my house is spotless I don't mind as I feel I'm winning at life

I read a tip in a magazine once. A woman said she always put her coat on to answer the door. If it was someone she didn't want to see, she was on her way out, and if it was someone she wanted to see, she'd just got in!

That's crazy. So then you have to go out if they say 'I'll walk with you' which they 100% will as if they've popped by they're probably ready to walk you to the bus stop

Or you have to get in your car and drive away?

Just say you're working.

I absolutely hate having unexpected visitors! Even if family are coming to visit, I like to have at least a week's notice, preferably a month tbh. I simply do not do spontaneous very well. Anything last minute or unexpected sends me into a bit of a spin.

I hate phone calls as well, as they're so intrusive. I don't like the interruption. I like to know in advance what's happening, so I can be prepared for it.

Or you just say I’m leaving in a minute and send them off.