To decline bridal shower invite?

[Goodgirlgonerogue]

Been invited to a house party for sister in-laws bridal shower. It’s 2 hours train journey each way (I don’t drive). Also no children or dogs allowed (I have both). DH will be travelling on business so can’t help or drive me. Is it ok if I decline? DH says it will be frowned upon among the family and insulting if I don’t go.

I’d tell your husband that you couldn’t give a fuck if it’s frowned upon. Do they not frown upon husbands who put all problems on their wife to solve?

If you have no one for the kids and dog then surely there’s no choice?

Bridal shower?! What is that?

Well if the only thing stopping you attending this event crucial to your DH family is his children and his dog, there is a solution-him!

It sounds as though they are, or he thinks they may be, annoyed at DH placing his business trip above attendance at their party, and he is trying to appease them by pushing you into it.

I have very little tolerance for people who make a fuss and get insulted by people not being able to attend their parties (and especially a 'bridal shower'- what on earth's that?)

Your dh can either:

(1) Cancel or interrupt his business trip and attend their party;

(2) Cancel or interrupt his business trip and look after the dc and dog; or at any rate arrange their care, so that you can go;

(3) Just tell his family sorry, not possible this time, and stop putting pressure on you.

No. (3) probably makes most sense.

If your DH thinks you have to attend he needs to make it possible.

If your SIL is offended that you can't attend (for very valid reasons) she is being very unreasonable.

And what would you do if there was a train strike?

people who don’t drive baffle me

So….do you have to provide a present for the Bridal Shower and the actual Wedding? Yes, grabby.

I'd just send a gift.

So what is your DH's brilliant solution to the problem then?

Absolutely. No need for it at all.

Yes I could be wrong but for him to say frowned upon makes me think are you/him of a different culture/religion?

I personally would still not go but may explain the expression

You have valid reasons for not going just say no

He can go?

Tell DH to organise a very nice gift for his sister and then send it, as you won't be able to make it along without childcare or a lift.

Fuck him dumping his family bullshit in your lap to solve alone.

Does the device you’re accessing Mumsnet on not have access to Google?

Nope - I would decline with regret.

What is DH's solution then? Are you going to answer any questions OP?

Explain that you can’t go and send a gift card via email for John Lewis etc.

Your DH sounds like an arse, if he really wanted you to go, he’d be around to sort childcare.

Can’t think of anything worse to be honest it’ll be SIL and her mates getting pissed and having a laugh, not much fun for you!

How is a bridal shower different to a hen night?
Is this yet another American import designed to guilt people into spending even more moey on the bride/baby/whatever

Is it the same as the hen do? Or in addition? It can be a good way to meet people you'll see again at the wedding. But if you're also expected to do an expensive hen do and fork out for the wedding I would just stand your ground.

If it’s a 2 hour train journey each way then it’ll be the same or halved driving.

Lots of people can’t or don’t wish to drive for many reasons, OP could be learning for all you know.

Out of interest. I googled. Apparently wedding guest attire is appropriate! https://www.lulus.com/blog/fashion/bridal-guide-what-to-wear-to-a-bridal-shower/

Jeepers. Etiquette.
https://www.brides.com/story/bridal-shower-etiquette

YANBU op. Your dh is just throwing a problem at him. If his family is that important to him, maybe he has the solution? Otherwise, you will send your apologies and a perhaps small gift or something.

Just decline, but YABVVVU to think a baby or a dog should be invited to a bridal shower! Ffs! 🙄