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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Food in the office

52 replies

Randomworkmoan · 01/04/2023 22:38

Anyone else work in a place where people seem to constantly talk about or bring in food?

It was always a foodie office, cakes for birthdays (no issue at all), bags of creggs sausage rolls or pastries weekly, bags of chocolate bars to share but manageable and everyone loves the odd treat but we had someone new transfer from another department in December and honestly it's just become too much. Constantly bringing in baked goods, dinners for the office, chocolate, asking if I want pizza for lunch, Chinese for lunch, McDonald's for lunch, it's relentless.

I will admit I struggle with my weight anyway and while I absolutely have no issue with the odd treat, it now feels like it's being shoved in my face and it's beyond annoying.

Anyone else have this and how did you handle it? Aibu? I just want to come to work, feed myself and not get fed by a pushy colleague when I am already struggling to get my weight down. Ffs can people not just feed themselves, why feed the fucking office?

Monday I was chatting to the tea lady about her weekend and she said she baked a cake for nieces birthday, in conversation I said oh I do like a red velvet cake and Tuesday morning colleague arrives in with a red velvet cake just for me and another cake for the office. Wednesday I got an Easter Egg, Thursday I was off and they were off Friday but Mondayno doubt it will be something else or another request for take away for lunch!

They are very nice but it's starting to effect how I feel about them, they are irritating me so much. I know one or two others don't like it either but I haven't discussed it with anyone bar those I am close to, though I get mixed vibes from the others, some seem to look a bit wtf at the ott offerings but then others seem happy.

Aibu? Should I suck it up? If not please tell me how to stop this, I have said jokingly to please stop feeding me, I have called them a feeder. I left the cake in the tea room and didn't eat it, what else can I do?

OP posts:
Heroicallyfound · 01/04/2023 22:40

Say no! Over and over. What’s stopping you saying no?

Wheresthebloodynurofen · 01/04/2023 22:42

Ok so what’s your issue that you can’t decline food? And feel the onus is on every one else not to offer it to you?

Original poster
Randomworkmoan · 01/04/2023 22:57

I do say no, constantly. Never taken them up on the take away yet it gets asked at least 3 to 4 times a week, the same question on repeat. The office food I find annoying but accept there is fuck all I can do, but the food for me? A whole cake, cupcakes, Toblerone, Easter egg, the list goes on, I generally leave them in the tea room but I don't want to be fed by the office feeder either, it's annoying as fuck when you are trying to lose weight and you are being handed cake as a gift at 9 in the morning

OP posts:
WhyCantYourPartnerDoIt · 01/04/2023 22:59

You’re being ridiculous. Just keep saying no.

RoseThornside · 01/04/2023 23:03

Say no but if given personally just leave it on your desk for a bit, then wrap in a napkin, shove it in a plastic bag, take home and give to someone else. I find once you've agreed to eat something, they don't actually notice if you don't!

Oakyloaky · 01/04/2023 23:05

Your problem is you! I work in an environment where we have fresh amazing cake served every afternoon…sometimes I have it and enjoy and other times I say thank you but no ! It really is your choice 🤷‍♀️

Branster · 01/04/2023 23:15

Who's paying for all this food? Is there an office budget or is it the member of staff buying from their own funds?

OP, if you can't politely ignore the offers, just make up some allergy and refuse all future offers.
It would be a bit awkward to make an official complaint about this.

Oblomov23 · 01/04/2023 23:16

WTF? Clearly only you have a problem with this. Just say no.

Original poster
Randomworkmoan · 01/04/2023 23:20

Oblomov23 · 01/04/2023 23:16

WTF? Clearly only you have a problem with this. Just say no.

Well no its clearly not as I said in my post

OP posts:
Original poster
Randomworkmoan · 01/04/2023 23:25

Absolutely my food issues and saying no to communal food is my own, I will take that on the chin. Its actually good to have it pointed out, I was getting really irritated by it in my head but actually if I just tell myself it's a me issue it might stop me getting so annoyed.

A bit surprised the same take away question on loop wouldn't annoy you or the personal food gifts. I have said I am trying to lose weight when saying no 9n so many occasions, I kinda thought it was like offering someone on the dry a drink daily 🤣 Clearly not though. I will keep saying no and try let it over my head

OP posts:
AspiringMermaid · 01/04/2023 23:27

People in your office sound very sweet. I can sympathise though, I am trying to lose weight also, and as a chef it is very difficult! For me I see all free food as my cheat meals and eat very healthy outside work, have lost 10kg so far.

If you don't want the food just express how much you appreciate the gesture and tell them you won't partake because diet/health kick/not hungry. The gifts of food, can't you take home and re gift? Give to a neighbour?

Hawkins003 · 01/04/2023 23:27

@Randomworkmoan
Sounds like the perfect office, although what's the company do ?
That said I can Adams your perspectives, I guess strong will power.
But me being me, i would be soon eating what I fancied

Hawkins003 · 01/04/2023 23:28

I try to balance my weight so some days I'm good other days it's I'm peckish ect

Kay286 · 01/04/2023 23:28

Where do you work are there any jobs going !? I love cake and free food lol 😆 On a serious note … can you explain you’re watching you’re weight and don’t want the temptation so not to offer , they may have got mixed signals from you saving you love red velvet cake tho !
Really though it nothing something you can stop them doing and will just have to have willpower.

BeeCucumber · 01/04/2023 23:31

Say thanks very much and then take it home and bin it.

Original poster
Randomworkmoan · 01/04/2023 23:36

Kay286 · 01/04/2023 23:28

Where do you work are there any jobs going !? I love cake and free food lol 😆 On a serious note … can you explain you’re watching you’re weight and don’t want the temptation so not to offer , they may have got mixed signals from you saving you love red velvet cake tho !
Really though it nothing something you can stop them doing and will just have to have willpower.

🤣 I do appreciate some people would love it.

The red velvet conversation they weren't even involved it, I was having a cuppa and asked the tea lady how her weekend was, she showed me photos of her niece and the cake and I was only being enthusiastic, ah that looks great, I love red velvet, that sort of thing. Then I left it out for everyone and didn't have any. I am really trying to not give mixed messages and have said I am trying to lose on many occasions.

I will just keep saying no I guess and stop myself from screaming I don't want a fucking takeaway for the hundredth time

OP posts:
Kay286 · 01/04/2023 23:40

@Randomworkmoan oh ok, yes just keep strong and keep saying no (it’s hard I’ve worked in an office with lots of treats constantly and when I was losing weight it was hard but I did it !) if something brings as a gift just be polite take it home and give it away.

Hawkins003 · 01/04/2023 23:42

BeeCucumber · 01/04/2023 23:31

Say thanks very much and then take it home and bin it.

The horror of such a thing

Twinedpeaks · 01/04/2023 23:47

Do you mean they baked a RV cake that was just for you to take home? Not they baked an RV cake for the office with you in mind? The former is OTT.

Beautiful3 · 01/04/2023 23:51

We had this issue. I stopped eating it completely. Just said I'm watching my figure. I stopped taking turns to buy cakes in the office. Bought myself fruit to eat instead. When I lost weight, the other ladies started swapping the cakes with the fruit too.

Original poster
Randomworkmoan · 01/04/2023 23:53

Twinedpeaks · 01/04/2023 23:47

Do you mean they baked a RV cake that was just for you to take home? Not they baked an RV cake for the office with you in mind? The former is OTT.

Bought me a whole red velvet cake. The rest of the office got a sponge cake of some variety. But it was given to me as a gift, like "look what I bought you, I got the rest of you this" it's an open office, they handed me the red velvet and put the other box on a table where the office food tends to be laid out. I thought it was ott too and as I say I left it in the tea room when I went for my morning cuppa

OP posts:
DiddyHeck · 01/04/2023 23:54

This really is your own problem I'm afraid and no-one elses.

If people enjoy bringing food in that's up to them. It makes a lot of people's working life more pleasant.

Twinedpeaks · 01/04/2023 23:56

In that case no, it's not simply a you issue. All you can do it do what's best for you and ignore the rest!

AnyMucca · 02/04/2023 00:04

Feeders at work are a fuckin PITA. People who think it's nice of them and it is as simple as saying no are naive, until they've had a week with Mrs Doyle, oh go on, go on , go on...

Original poster
Randomworkmoan · 02/04/2023 00:05

I accept that most think this is a me issue and I will take that and just keep saying no

I would just like to say that I did say in my op that I never had an issue the cakes for birthdays, greggs, chocolates, I did say that i had no issue at all with that and found it manageable.

I do not want to be the office party pooper. This is only an issue since December when it has definitely grown as a wider office issue but is more focused on me too, the gifts, the endless requests for take away. I can say no and don't think others shouldn't have it because i struggle. It's just since it's ramped up with the new colleague

I do think it's a shitty thing to do to someone you know is trying to lose weight (the stuff towards me not the office). But I will just keep saying no, I definitely won't bring it home, its bad enough at work I am not bringing it home

OP posts:
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