Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

School run dilemma.

567 replies

whydid · 01/04/2023 19:53

I don't want to drip feed so will try to include everything.

My son has started reception this year at the local school around 5 minutes walk away.
I have a 2.5 year old and I'm pregnant due May 10th!

On the odd time I have took my neighbours son to school with me when she had an emergency or she was feeding her baby.

Yesterday morning she dropped into conversation that they cannot keep affording to send their 12 year old to school via taxi anymore and as he has anxiety he cannot go by bus so will be needing to drive her to school and can I permanently take her younger son to school and in the afternoons pick him up and bring him home with me till 5pm ish as she needs to collect baby from childminder and it's becoming too tight.
(She is stopping after school wrap around care as it is too expensive)

When I mentioned I will be saddled with a newborn next month her response was "well you would still be doing it anyway so what's an extra child" and I just was so shocked I didn't reply and my toddler started crying so I said my goodbyes.

How do I deal with this without making it extremely awkward for the rest of our lives. As these homes are both our "forever homes"

OP posts:
SmallAngryPenguinWoman · 03/04/2023 20:51

I think you've handled it very well, no room for argument - although she sounds like the type to argue anyway. Hope it all settles down now.

Eas1lyd1stracted · 03/04/2023 21:06

What a CF! You did well. It might have been long but left no wiggle room. Impressively brutal 🤣 She got back what she was giving out. Very impressive that she's not talking to you

TheNyx · 03/04/2023 21:11

Well done for standing up to her. What she was asking for had nothing to do with 'hospitality' it was her expecting you to inconvenience yourself so she could save money

Also I may be being harsh here but a 12 year old who can cope with mainstream school shouldn't be having such bad anxiety that they need a private chauffeur everyday 😕 it sounds like that is something that she should be focusing on changing if she can't afford taxis and can't cope with the driving

Wintersgirl · 03/04/2023 21:13

Northern hospitality my arse! She's not been the least bit hospitable to you, what a using cow...

whynotwhatknot · 03/04/2023 21:24

She shouldnt live in a terraced house thats hilarious-so thosands of us all have to pick up kids and do chores for our neighbours do we

MakiSushi · 03/04/2023 21:30

Who knew there were certain unspoken (and highly unreasonable!) conditions related to living in a terrace in Northern England? Not me for one.

Every day's a school day!

ArdeteiMasazxu · 03/04/2023 21:37

Well done OP.

It's totally fine to say no. Don't feel bad - she wasn't taking no for an answer and you had to be firm. She's now being a stroppy cow because you aren't being a doormat but that's not your problem. Ignore the trantrum, don't give her the oxygen by caring any further about her sense of entitlement.

You have done well.

linewithoutahook · 03/04/2023 21:43

When my DC were in primary I had a friend who became a TA at their primary after her marriage breakdown.

I was very sympathetic and supportive re: the breakdown and then one day got a random text saying "just checking you're still ok to take my kids to school every morning like you offered?"

She lived about 2 minutes walk from the school and I lived about 15 minutes walk away. She wanted me to drive to her house and pick her 2 kids up at 7:45 then go home (presumably) for half an hour and do the school run with the 4 of them at 8:15.

She'd decided this was better than putting her kids in breakfast club (though obviously wasn't offering to pay me anything).

I couldn't believe it.

She did pay for breakfast club in the end but what a bloody cheek.

Well done, op, for setting her straight.

RichardHeed · 03/04/2023 21:53

When I came home earlier she was loudly saying to her neighbour on the right passive aggressively "some people don't understand northern hospitality and stick to their own ways, some people shouldn't move to terraced properties if they don't want neighbours"

You should say loudly “and some people shouldn’t become parents if they can’t be arsed looking after their kids”

Cheeky cunt.

Eas1lyd1stracted · 03/04/2023 22:05

RichardHeed · 03/04/2023 21:53

When I came home earlier she was loudly saying to her neighbour on the right passive aggressively "some people don't understand northern hospitality and stick to their own ways, some people shouldn't move to terraced properties if they don't want neighbours"

You should say loudly “and some people shouldn’t become parents if they can’t be arsed looking after their kids”

Cheeky cunt.

For ages I thought CF meant 'cunt face' and the mumsnet crowd was a bit harsh. But sometimes it fits 🤣

honeyytoast · 03/04/2023 22:05

@Eatentoomanyroses how can you tell she’s scouse from the text? I was way off trying to gauge whether OP was American purely due to the use of daycare

Royalbloo · 03/04/2023 22:06

Hahhaaaaaa CF! Lol

HaveSomeIntrospect · 03/04/2023 22:06

She is cheeky. Do make sure that you let the neighbour know exactly what the cf wanted you to do.

Codlingmoths · 03/04/2023 22:15

I do hope you explain to neighbour the one way concept she thinks of as ‘hospitality’. She should be warned!

Crazyinlove123 · 03/04/2023 22:19

honeyytoast · 03/04/2023 22:05

@Eatentoomanyroses how can you tell she’s scouse from the text? I was way off trying to gauge whether OP was American purely due to the use of daycare

Yeah I wasn’t getting scouse, and scousers don’t tend to refer to themselves as northern, just scouse

Noodlehen · 03/04/2023 22:19

Wow what a cheeky bitch!

Feuillemille23 · 03/04/2023 22:20

Great message suggested earlier, but I wouldn't start it with sorry....she's being unbelievably cheeky. I'd personally combine it with the one that starts with "About your request today". Honestly, some people.

Eatentoomanyroses · 03/04/2023 22:21

@honeyytoast it just read that way to me. A lot of scouse people text the way they talk

mouseinglasses · 03/04/2023 22:44

@Eatentoomanyroses
I thought so. Are you in Liverpool? What’s the area like? Mind how you go. She sounds a bit unhinged and unhinged is dangerous in a neighbour. I lived in Liverpool as a child and my mum had a cf situation with one of our neighbours. We ended up having to move for our own safety.

WTF are you smoking? Stop it with the anti-Liverpool rhetoric you and other posters are unhinged. This is universal CF behaviour - full stop. Why are you taking a swipe at scousers?

letsmakepopcorn · 03/04/2023 22:51

Bloody hell I can't believe what I have just read and it's given me anxiety. Honestly makes you think twice before helping someone out during a emergency as that "one off" would become a regular thing. Some people honestly have no shame and self awareness as if it's your responsibility to look after her off spring. That 5pm will become 6/7/8pm. You give an inch the cf's would take yards off of you.

BHRK · 03/04/2023 22:59

i know loads of northerners and they absolutely would not ask me to look after their child on a permanent basis. Wtf. Ignore her

QuestionsFromThePublic · 03/04/2023 23:04

I'm Liverpudlian, albeit I don't live there now. I have never asked a neighbour to collect my DC from school or an event. All this nonsense about northern hospitality is garbage because they are a CF.

Eatentoomanyroses · 03/04/2023 23:10

mouseinglasses · 03/04/2023 22:44

@Eatentoomanyroses
I thought so. Are you in Liverpool? What’s the area like? Mind how you go. She sounds a bit unhinged and unhinged is dangerous in a neighbour. I lived in Liverpool as a child and my mum had a cf situation with one of our neighbours. We ended up having to move for our own safety.

WTF are you smoking? Stop it with the anti-Liverpool rhetoric you and other posters are unhinged. This is universal CF behaviour - full stop. Why are you taking a swipe at scousers?

I’m not. I asked if the woman was scouse and op said she is. I’m scouse myself and wouldn’t dream of asking this of anyone. I’d say the woman is a bit more than a CF based on her reactions to op’s text so I was just warning her before she gets a brick through her window.

ihatebikerides · 03/04/2023 23:30

Was it the "sitting in yours" phrase? I can just hear my Scouse friend saying that.

mouseinglasses · 03/04/2023 23:39

@Eatentoomanyroses I’m not. I asked if the woman was scouse and op said she is. I’m scouse myself and wouldn’t dream of asking this of anyone. I’d say the woman is a bit more than a CF based on her reactions to op’s text so I was just warning her before she gets a brick through her window.

I agree that no one in their right mind would ask this of anyone.

I would also assert that no one from Liverpool would suggest that people put bricks through windows as a result of disagreements - it doesn't happen but is a nice "myth" to spread.

Try harder next time