School run dilemma.

[whydid]

I don't want to drip feed so will try to include everything.

My son has started reception this year at the local school around 5 minutes walk away.
I have a 2.5 year old and I'm pregnant due May 10th!

On the odd time I have took my neighbours son to school with me when she had an emergency or she was feeding her baby.

Yesterday morning she dropped into conversation that they cannot keep affording to send their 12 year old to school via taxi anymore and as he has anxiety he cannot go by bus so will be needing to drive her to school and can I permanently take her younger son to school and in the afternoons pick him up and bring him home with me till 5pm ish as she needs to collect baby from childminder and it's becoming too tight.
(She is stopping after school wrap around care as it is too expensive)

When I mentioned I will be saddled with a newborn next month her response was "well you would still be doing it anyway so what's an extra child" and I just was so shocked I didn't reply and my toddler started crying so I said my goodbyes.

How do I deal with this without making it extremely awkward for the rest of our lives. As these homes are both our "forever homes"

As I said before no bloody way!

where my DM lives 2 young girls both moved into the area, both under 10 but one nearer 8-9 used to knock on the doors of houses to even with people without DC to be nosy, etc. I think the DM encouraged them to play out and didn’t realise or care what they were up to. They saw DM’s toys for her grandchild through the living room window and then wanted to be invited in, they weren’t.

The DM was around as we saw her and I think people had a word with her as it’s also dangerous for young kids to be knocking on randoms doors. I think she WFH but whatever happens, childcare is for her to arrange, not for others to do so.

Whatever happened you now see her a lot with her DC after school and they don’t knock on doors anymore.

It must make sense to her in some weird way.

The same way that everyone, for instance, driving from London to Brighton should car pool because they are all going to and from the same place

It makes sense to her in that she would be getting masses of free childcare. I would have suggested 'OK, my rate is £20/hour, payable monthly in advance' to get rid of her.

Her ignoring you is an excellent result, means she won't be badgering you again. When I saw your long reply I thought oh no, don't explain/justify as CFs always use it as a way to wheedle themselves back in. Then i saw you'd well and truly called her out as a user and I was so impressed. Well done OP.

If the 12 year old can make it to yours in the afternoon presumably by public transport then why can’t he get it in the morning?

Yep! Some poor person will get suckered in no doubt

Or suggest she employ a nanny!!

This.

She was never your friend. She's only interested in people who can do something for her and save her money, and to hell with what it costs the other people in terms of time, money or inconvenience.

You don't have a school run dilemma, she has. End of.

I read your updates. Wow I'm literally shaking my head, at you having two of her kids after school until she collects!!! Unbelievable. You've handled it really well, well done. Why on earth would she cancel after school club, if she needs it??! I'm the same as you, I don't mind helping out in an emergency, but not to be used as regular childcare. Who cares if she ignores you, trust me, it's better this way.

Excellent advice from both @Flangeosaurus and @Heroicallyfound!

Yikes, OP - I just caught up with your updates! Well done you! I think your neighbour wins the Mumsnet CF prize this week. Good for you for sticking to your refusal, despite her trying to bully you out of it.

That's so rude of her!!

She ignored me today outside

Good. Just shows you she has absolutely no interest in you unless you're bending over backwards for her.

She will no doubt ignore you from now on but just rise above it and thank your lucky stars that you are not taking on her childcare!

What a CF!!!

Ah, she's ignored you because she knows she can't persuade you, which is brilliant - you're off the hook!

That is next level cheeky fuckery. Be grateful she's ignoring you- you are better off without that shite.

Cheeky fucker!! Well done.

You can still bid her a cheery good morning , don't let her make you edge in your own home and street.

Remember you are not the one in the wrong, she is. If she tries to slag you off to other parents , she will end up looking stupid as there is no other spin on the situation other than her looking for free permanent child care.

She'll work out another way to do this, she just thought that mug next door will sort will me out.

Great that she's shown her true colours at this stage.

Hahahaha, nice try Neighbour.
“This arrangement doesn’t suit me.”

Jeez she is one CF. And no friend either by the sounds of it. Good for you putting your foot down x

She ignored me today outside.

Silver lining then!

OMG the cheeky fuckery of her response. I hate the ‘I’m confused’ passive aggression comment. What’s confusing about someone not wanting to be her unpaid taxi / childcare service ffs. Your response was perfectly fine. It doesn’t work for you so who cares what she demands is her right ?

I'm dumbfounded at how entitled she is.

Perhaps she and her husband should have figured out their childminding and school run logistics before having umpteen children. Their failure to plan is not your emergency.

The notion that she expects you to have two kids in your house, watching TV, taking up space, using the toilet, whatever, every single day, for her convenience? Unbelievable.

Part of me wishes you had said sure, for 150 quid per week, paid monthly in advance.

Yes! that was a tip top bit of cheeky fuckery!

" I'm confused.,.."

( yep confused you're not doing her bidding,
have your own opinion, are putting yourself first )